| SG: I find today you are one of the most powerful people in Bollywood but I notice that you carry your power quite lightly - how come?
KJO: -I don't know Simi. I have seen failure as a child, I have seen my parents going through tough times when I was growing up. My father produced five debacles one after the another, we saw bad financial times, and I remember seeing the disappointment on his face when I felt he was slighted by so many members in the movie industry (SG: Really?) where he was actually such a respected loved man (SG: he was loved) but there was the whole phase Simi and my mother knows this and I know this, where he wasn't given the respect that I felt he deserved. I think those days are very important to me, because they I think grounded me and made me the man I am today. So when I see success I know failure is right next door. I know that this could go away tomorrow. I am going to be 40 next year, I will lose this…this fun element, I will be not in touch with the youth after a decade, I may make that one big flop that might push me back, I know all that is a possibility, I have to know it, that's what grounds me today.
SG: Is there such a thing as real friendship in our industry? KJO: It's a dinosaur ... it's definitely a dying breed because I don't think people have the bandwidth emotionally to sustain friendships in our industry. You cannot have an equal connection with anyone. Somewhere if you play the subservient part you maintain a friendship - there is no such thing as an equal friendship. Two powerful people can't be friends. There will have to be one of them who takes a back seat …and that's invariably me... I'm friendly with one of the most powerful people in the industry but I am, definitely am, subservient in that relationship. I definitely take a back seat. I become the humble friend and that's how I make it work. It's not going to happen otherwise. ***
SG: Salman and Shah Rukh, how do you deal with that today?
KJO: I have known Salman's family ever since I can remember. So I can't look through him or not acknowledge him or not wish him because he has a problem with Shah Rukh. No, I will have the same level of regard and respect for him. And he was a part of my first film, how can I forget that? So we have the exact same equation that we did before this fallout. I have my individual relationships with everyone.
SG:That's I think the secret of your success. I really think you should write a book on this.
KJO: One day I will write a book Simi and I will keep it with somebody and then when I am dead, I will allow them to publish. ***
SG: Ok, you know for someone who pries open other people's secrets quite unsparingly, their love life their rumors. How is it that we've never heard any link up or any rumor of you ever? ***
KJO: I don't claim to have led a saintly life. There have been a lot of one-sided love stories in my life. I have seen more heart breaks than heart make...
KJO: I have invariably been in love when I haven't had the same reciprocated emotion at all. I don't choose to talk about my personal life because I believe that I don't want to and I believe my personal life is personal.
SG: C'mon Karan, that's not fair!
KJO: When I ask questions to somebody, I don't expect them to give me the real answer. Nothing anyone ever says on my show Simi is ever really a revelation. It's always like something that you've already read in a newspaper, magazine or tabloid.
SG: But even then, you know, one would have heard some link up, some story something, having dinner with so-and-so here or there. You have managed this feat which is absolutely amazing
KJO: Because I don't do anything in the public eye.
SG:You know what I think?
KJO: You think I am up to tricks when I travel?
SG: I think you have your relationships abroad.
KJO: You think I have my relationships abroad? Ok, so should I give you a straight face?
SG: Hainaa? I think this Gemini twin that you talk about. One twin is abroad and one is here... ***
SG: You talk about coming home to an empty house, a sinking feeling when you walk in - it's self-induced Karan. You can change the status.
KJO: I know I can. I choose not to.
SG: Why? Have you not found any partner who has been able to give you that kind of companionship…ever?
KJO: No, I invariably run after people who have no interest in me. It's very sad.
SG:Maybe because you find that a challenge.
KJO: No, I don't. I just don't. I think I always want what I can't get. So I think it's that. It's also I think that I have self esteem issues really. If you really analyse it... People who really like me I have no interest in. The unattainable is always that I want to attain. ***
SG:But physiologically one needs a relationship.
KJO: I know, and my release is fortunately cinema, it's not in my bedroom.
SG: Karan then you are a marvel.
KJO: No I am not, I can't even be a marvel, this is not something I'm proud of at all. ***
SG:But when people speculate about your sexual orientation, does that bother you?
KJO: No. There are people who have asked me on the national television sometimes, and it was a Hindi show, it was meant to be about a tie-up with another channel and something unsavory came my way, asking me very directly about my sexual orientation and I looked at him and said why are you interested? Because it was said in such a strange way. Obviously if you are single, you are 39, there will be conjecture about your sexuality and your orientation, I have no problem with that, and I am very comfortable with hearing all kinds of rumors that float around, I am very comfortable with what people have to say, their perception of my orientation, what they think, what all they think I am part of, and I have no problem with the territory I can't be upset or angry about it.
SG: But wouldn't you like to give respect to who you are, your identity and come out and talk about it, because you are a role model Karan.
KJO: Talk about what?
SG:About when they talk of about your sexual orientation, come out and clear it out.
KJO: Why should I tell them I am straight or I am bisexual or I am homosexual or I am tri-sexual, why should I tell them that yes, I have actually been in love with women for last 20 years or in love with three women or two men or 400 other people? Nobody knows what I stand for in terms of my personal life and I like to keep it that way. |
Anupamaa
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