Feel bad for gauri

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 14 years ago

I am NOT a Gauri supporter but I really felt bad for her today.

I too would never in my life have imagined that a child marriage performed years ago at the age of 8 would be legal. That is something I have learned now from the lawyer Bhairon consulted.. Who knew that an illegal child marriage turned legal once the girl and boy hit 18 and 21 respectively?

The thought of approaching a lawyer would never even occur to me to check about the legal status of the child marriage.

I would only have consulted a lawyer if the marriage had occurred in Jagya's adult age.

I leave aside the morality of the decision as well as her decision to get married to liar-liar pants on fire Jagya who kept her in the dark for five years.

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redapple1

@redapple1

Voyager

Posted: 14 years ago

This is the hefty price you pay for making decisions in a hurry. Marriage is not a barbie game. You have to really think through the consequences before tieing the knot. When you are studying, that should be your high priority to complete the education, get financially independent and then think about marrying. Now at least she should realize the mess she is in and should try to get out of Jagya's life, concentrate on completing her masters. Over the time, if Jagya gets divorce from Anandi and then if she really wants to have him as life partner, then only she should think about getting back with him. For now staying away from him is a better option.

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vasuja

@vasuja

Voyager

Posted: 14 years ago

well said redapple...The hurry in the marriage was the biggest reason for trouble...If she had took some time, discussed in detail with bade paapa may be she would have got to know the legal complications...i never understood why they married in a hurry...It was never the need of the hour..

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atria

@atria

Inactive

Posted: 14 years ago

I guess I'm more suspicious than most then, because if I found out a guy I'd been dating had a previous child marriage I would question him more closely about the legality of the thing. Heck even if he told me he was divorced, I would still want to know the how and wherefore of it before I tied the knot.

And Gauri's moral decision has implications on the legal aspect as well. Jagya had already lied to her, shouldn't she have checked out everything he said before getting married or consulted elders, like bade papa? Bade papa being outside the country could have given her a convenient excuse to wait till he comes back and not rush into marriage, and meanwhile find out more about child marriage. One trip to a lawyer in a city like Mumbai, how complicated is that?

She went into this like a babe in the woods, quite unlike her persona earlier. Even now, I get the feeling she won't leave Jagya, just shout and rant, then go ahead and leave with him. Its really unfortunate how they have butchered her character.

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 14 years ago

Yes Atria, I agree with you about hurry-- but what I am saying is that it would never have occurred to me that the child marriage is legal after adulthood. Checking with a lawyer presumes that you atleast have a doubt. I would not even have had a doubt.

I would have rejected the guy on all the other grounds - liar etc. etc.

In hindsight it makes sense, that hundreds of marriages occuring at a young age all over india cannot be illegal now - the elderly people who are now 80 but got married at age 5 are certainly married and have kids.

But in gauri's place, prior to all this law knowledge coming out, I would never have any doubt that child marriage is illegal.

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atria

@atria

Inactive

Posted: 14 years ago

Originally posted by: tinoo
Yes Atria, I agree with you about hurry-- but what I am saying is that it would never have occurred to me that the child marriage is legal after adulthood. Checking with a lawyer presumes that you atleast have a doubt. I would not even have had a doubt.

I would have rejected the guy on all the other grounds - liar etc. etc.

In hindsight it makes sense, that hundreds of marriages occuring at a young age all over india cannot be illegal now - the elderly people who are now 80 but got married at age 5 are certainly married and have kids.

But in gauri's place, prior to all this law knowledge coming out, I would never have any doubt that child marriage is illegal.

The question is, when would you need to deal with this issue? Is it in a light debate with friends over a cup of tea? Then I'm sure that most of us would vehemently assert that child marriage is illegal. And that's okay since we don't need to know every aspect of the law.

But when someone asks you to marry them, and you find something odd in their past, it is natural to have doubts and clarify them before marriage. Even if Jagat had not lied to her. Imagine you meet a guy in college and like him, he tells you he was a child groom but has anulled the marriage now. I know that I would definitely at least do a google search on child marriage laws in India. This is not about mistrusting your lover, its about finding out about the person you are going to marry. And in Gauri's place, even if Jagat had told her on day one that he had been married previously, it would have made sense for her to find out the laws regarding this. She was shown so traumatized at discovering her childhood bhagoda dulha, she did not act like any other woman would.

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 14 years ago

Originally posted by: atria

The question is, when would you need to deal with this issue? Is it in a light debate with friends over a cup of tea? Then I'm sure that most of us would vehemently assert that child marriage is illegal. And that's okay since we don't need to know every aspect of the law.

But when someone asks you to marry them, and you find something odd in their past, it is natural to have doubts and clarify them before marriage. Even if Jagat had not lied to her. Imagine you meet a guy in college and like him, he tells you he was a child groom but has anulled the marriage now. I know that I would definitely at least do a google search on child marriage laws in India. This is not about mistrusting your lover, its about finding out about the person you are going to marry. And in Gauri's place, even if Jagat had told her on day one that he had been married previously, it would have made sense for her to find out the laws regarding this. She was shown so traumatized at discovering her childhood bhagoda dulha, she did not act like any other woman would.

Yes, this is true. Thanks! The 'when would I need to deal with the issue' time is important.

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fast trak

@fast trak

Rocker

Posted: 14 years ago

This is the price u pay for making such silly decisions esp abt marriage.

will an educated girl like G just rush into marriage just bec a guy is sitting out there in the rain and crying out for her.

by then she already knew he was married. ok maybe she loved him too but before entering into holy wedlock any sensible girl wud like to first confirm with his parents and esp make sure with the guy that he has spoken to his first wife abt her or more imp meet the first wife personally.

G did none of these but suddenly expects his entire family to accept her and give her bahu ka status. they also want them to chuck A out. what does she know abt the family and their relation with A?

such a silly girl and now sitting and crying wont help her at all. either she needs to forget his parents and live with J somewhere far away (bec they will NEVER accept her) or leave J and go away forever.

I feel if she wudve cried before and not married him at all wudve been much better bec those tears r better than sitting and crying lifelong now.

Edited by fast trak - 14 years ago

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dolly

@tiny15

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

@TM really now i can't feel bad 4 her!!🥱🥱 bcoz in my POV she has invited her own troubles wen she married that slimeball J knowing hes married!!

so i m ahppy that she"ll also go thru the pain & humilation just like A has gone, i m not feeling a bit of sympathy 2wards her. shes reaping wat she'd sown!! ur "karma" always haunt u 4 whole of the life!! she herself never considered the pain, humilation heor feelings of any1 & esply of A. she luks 2 me most selfish & widout compassion 4 a fellow women & i don't've any symapthy 4 such men or women!!

G lost all sympathy & comapssion the day she decided 2 marry a married prsn knowingly!!🤢🤢

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fast trak

@fast trak

Rocker

Posted: 14 years ago

#10

so right dolly. its karma. she thought it was all easy as cakewalk for her. she never imagined that she will go thru all this misery of not being accepted and esp the illegal part. forget illegal ...the very Jagat whom she claims loves her and her alone is also supporting A all the time. 😆

what happened to that guy who was crying his heart out to her? now she will know what A went through. lekin ab agar G ne J ko chod diya toh kya J firse A ke paas jayega 😕😆

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