Geet's diary :OS

Geet's diary

Thursday


21-7-2011


11 PM

I forgot about my studies and career for my love Maan.He and our baby were my life.Later surprisingly he enouraged me to study.That moment I adored him more.Because even though i suppressed my dream,he did'nt want to kill my dream.I was really happy.I went abroad with my son for my higher studies.Then i realized how much i miss Maan.Every moment i think of him.I'm waiting for my course to get over soon.So that i can be with my love.But i don't know how.He is not the same person now.He feels that i'm moving away from him.He feels that i prefer to be away from him.He told me that he won't oppose me if i start working here.He thinks that i'm really career oriented,so i want to settle abroad.He said he will visit us once in a while to see his son.He was not angry.He did not shout at me.But his words tore my heart.I don't know what makes him think like this.I think of him every moment.I long to be with him.I want to relive our happy moments.But he can't understand me or my feelings for him.He thinks something else about me.I did'nt tell him how much i love him.I did'nt tell him the truth that i can't live without him.I did'nt try to give clarification.I don't know whether i should have expressed my emotion.May be he expected me to tell him that what he thought was wrong,i want to be with him.But what if he does'nt believe me?So i did'nt say anything.I kept silent.

Every time when i realize how deep my love is for Maan,he hurts me.He said he will come to see his son.Does he want to see me?I can't believe that Maancould talk like that.
Where is my Maanwho fought with everyone to get me?Where is my Maanwho fought with others to defend me?Where is my Maanwho was crazy about me?Where is my Maanwho encouraged me to pursue my studies?I miss the real Maan.His mood keeps changing.He talks according to his mood.I hope it's just his mood which made him talk like this.I hope tomorrow his thoughts will change.I hope he will take us back to our old happy little house.I'm longing to restart our happy family life.Now i doubt whether my decision to contnue my studies was wrong?Does the long distance affect relationships?I don't know.All i know is..i love Maanvery much and i want to be happy with him.I hope he will also understand that though physically his Geet is away from him,mentally Geet is with him..in his heart.Please Maan..don't hurt me like this.How can i bear this pain?When i think of a life without you,i feel death is better than life.

Geet stopped writing her diary.She uttered words for Maan,"Will you ever understand me Maan?Will you understand my love?I know that you love me.Why are you hiding your love?Open your heart Maan."