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[Music: Sheila Ki Jawaani plays]
[Sahar dances onto stage]

Sahar: I know you want it, but you're never gonna get it. Tere haath kabhi.. Oh hello, everyone! Welcome to KaJen AT's first ever MOVIE FESTIVAL! As you all know, I'm Sahar, but for today, I shall be Sheila. By the way, I have a co-host too.. ek moti si, annoying si ladki, who calls herself "Dhanno." Has anyone seen her?
Oh Dhanno! Meri moti Dhanno!
[Music: Oh Dhanno, Oh Dhanno]
[Aditi dances onto stage]
Aditi: Calm down, my fans! Lo main agayii! Itni zor se taali mat bajao!

[Cricket, cricket, no sound from audience]
Sahar: Lo, moti agayi! Taali ko band hone keliye, pehle bajti toh chahiye! Where do you hear applause?

Aditi: Abbey! Moti kisko bol rahi hain? I am just the prettiest! Haters to the left, okay? My fans are Dhannoholics for me!
[Audience starts laughing]
Aditi: See, see? They all love me! I have amused them!

Sahar: Silly Dhanno, they're not laughing with you. They're laughing at you. Emphasis on the "at".
Aditi: Ah, Sheila ki jawaani, you shut up, you slu.. Uh I mean. First you show off your jawani to everyone, and then tell them they can't have you. You're such a tease! It's like telling a bachcha, "Here, I have candy, do you want candy? WELL YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM, HAHA!" So, you shut up.

Sahar: Ay, Dhanno ki Badnami.. oh wait, wrong song.. Dhanno, aap ka kya hoga, janaab-e-ali? Kuch nahi! I didn't even see a point in whatever you said!
Aditi: If your bakbak is done, can we get to the point?
Sahar: Fine! Jaa chudail, baat kar!

Aditi: I will deal with you later... Hello everyone to KaJen AT's 600th celebrations! To celebrate this grand occasion, KaJen AT is hosting its first ever KaJen Film Festival!
Sahar: Today, I along with moti Dhanno here, and badnam hui Munni, and chamakti hui chammak challo, shall present to you a bundle of surprises!

Aditi: First of all, remember we asked you guys about your KaJen Movie Wish List? Well the final list has been prepared! And the following 30 movies are movies which were chosen by KaJenians; movies where they would have loved to see KaJen in. KaJenians would love to KaJen work in similar movies in the future!
Sahar: Hayye! KaJen in Hum Tum! Can you imagine?

Aditi: Ay, Sheila. You sound like our Munni, I mean Mehak, now.
Sahar: Pfft, don't compare me to that character dheela Munni.
Aditi: Teri character bhi kum dheela nahi hain.
Sahar: Exactly! Meri character toh usse bhi zyada dheela hain! Don't insult me by comparing me to Munni, okay? Her character isn't dheela enough.
Aditi: KHAMOSH!

Sahar: Kya hua?
Aditi: Maine kahan na khamosh?
Sahar: Naraz hogayyi ho kya? Aisi choti choti desho mein, aisi bari bari baatein hoti rehti hain...
Aditi: You mean "Aisi bari bari desho mein, aisi choti choti baatein hoti rehti hai"?
Sahar: Yeah, I said that na?
Aditi: Nevermind! Before Sheila opens her big mouth again, I'd like to announce that we have BIG surprise for you!
Sahar: Only my mouth isn't big you know. My assets are quite large as well.
Aditi: Sheila, what are you talking about? This is a G-Rated show.
Sahar: Yeah, what's so R-Rated about that? I meant my brain. My brain is an asset to me, and trust me, it is quite large.
Aditi: I don't understand how you can be such a dheela dhakkan sometimes, yet so creative.

Sahar: Oh, stop it! Stop praising me, moti Dhanno, and announce my greatness, I mean, surprise!

Aditi: El oh el, okay, then.

Sahar: Now Dhanno, bohot ho gayyi teri funn-oh!
Aditi: Wow, that was lame.
Sahar: KHAMOSH, YOU MOTI DHANNO! Okay, so this is our surprise. A few weeks ago, I was sitting alone on my Dhanno... I mean my bed, I named it Dhanno, not this one *points at Aditi* and I was like, "Hmmm... I could really use a cappuccino right now."

Aditi: Oh God...
Sahar: Chup kar beta. Then I realized Fatima, my Chammak Challo is gone for exams, and Mehak, my Munni Badnaam is gone on vacation. So I did what I thought would be the right thing to do. I freshened myself up, put on my track suit, drank some juice, tied my hair back, and then...
Aditi: Then...?
Sahar: I clicked open Google Chrome, went on Facebook, turned on caps lock, and went, "DHANNOOO." And this moti came to rescue. Then one day, this moti Dhanno went, "You know Tumblr has this movie meme." And then, it hit me. We should have a KaJen movie. Dhanno started making the credits right away. Chammak Challo started thinking about music. And me? I had one thing in mind, "To get more cappuccino."

Aditi: Hai Sheila Ki Jawaani, unnecessary bakbak band kar. Let me take over. One night, our Sheila went, "Ay Dhanno, I need music." So me being totally awesome, and just the best person in the world, I went, "Sure. I will." And then it hit me. I N C E P T I O N .
The music of the movie hit us like bricks, and we had it, we knew it; we had to use the music!

We, along with Chammak Challo, later planned the movie out. Before we explain everything, here are some posters!
Sahar: Oh my God, I'm getting all sentimental now by just staring at these posts. I think I need to go to the bathroom.

Aditi: Uh, could you not hog the posters for yourself and show everyone else?
Sahar: I am! I AM! But this is all so beautiful.
Aditi: Ahem!

Sahar: OKAY! Here they are! Can you guys guess what the movie is about?
Aditi: Wah wah! Posters hi itni hot hain, toh movie kaisi hogi?

Sahar: WELL, before we say anything, it's better for the write and director herself, Manpreet Bhandal, to come on the stage herself and speak to you about the film!
Aditi: Also coming on stage are executive producers Sahar, Aditi.. oh wait we're already on stage, um Gia K. & Reema P.; co-writers Fatima M. and Hannah HB; ace choreographer and production designer Anita M.; cinematographer Mehak K.; music director Melena K.; and lyricist Mira P.

[Music plays]
Preets: Hello everyone, and welcome to KaJen AT's 600th thread celebrations!
Gia: As, Saharu and Adu.. erm I mean, as Sheila and Dhanno explained, the CMs and EO's of KaJen AT have created this beautiful masterpiece for you guys.
Anita: Now, before we give you a little taste of what the movie is about, our director and writer Preeti will tell you what the movie is about.
Preeti: Life is an unthinkable and uncontrollable thing. You can never determine what, and when something can happen. Just like the moment they thought they could live happily ever after, Mumbai's most powerful mob led by the most dangerous duo shattered their dreams forever. Take a sneak peek into the adventure of the lows and highs of four lives intertwined with each others. One man seeking the revenge of his beloved's murder: One murder, one promise, and one faithful guardian angel. What happens now? Only time can tell.
Fatima: Touching, isn't it? Well, our lyricist Mira P. and music director Melena K., have come up with a beautiful soundtrack for this movie; and many of our wonderful KaJenians sang these songs! Here, presenting to you, the original soundtrack of Retribution!
[Applause]

Mira: Thank you, thank you! Seriously, all this credit doesn't go to us.
Melena: Yeah, we couldn't have done it without the whole cast and crew. So thank you!
Preeti: Well.. are you ready for it? Here, presenting to you, the first official trailer of Retribution!
[YOUTUBE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4508Mb4ruQE[/YOUTUBE]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4508Mb4ruQE














