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Kesar is frustrated, somewhat defeated, alone, helpless, misunderstood, heartbroken to a point where he seeks guidance, solace from one place where most of us go to when things are becoming well hope-less... Kesar knows he had/has no wrong intentions in why he wanted her back seeing as this house is her life and where her actual happiness is (but we all know his way going about it was not exactly right), his love is real, deep and its pure - but one thing that aches him is what Gulaal is terming his love... and it hurts him that he is being misunderstood, when he knows that he hasnt done anything wrong...
Gulaal is lost, lifeless, defeated, lonely, helpless, heartbroken, forced, taunted at, and somewhat beginning a new journey in finding herself in this house (and also in this new decision she has taken), and what place she attains, as JK harshly dismissed that her and Vasant relation doesnt count anymore, and only relation she has for being Kesar's wife, that hurt Gulaal as we saw yesterday, and since she is back and come back coz of Kesar as she says... she is a wife and she will do her duty as a wife for Kesar, we saw it yesterday - making food and sending it for him... duty and also care is attached to it.
If we look at the feelings and emotions both these have and are feelings its the same, both so similar... but different pov and outlook
My loneliness is the only thing that is left in me
We all know how Kesar is when he is angry and/or when reaches his anger level to a certain extent (but do i see sadness in his eyes and face today instead of anger?), he rushes off and we have seen him ride off with his bike and this is what he does as the episode opens up (with flashback of the last few days and words ringing in him), with Talli's words ringing inside him, does he want to attain Gulaal's love or lose her forever (we saw yesterday that he couldnt ever imagine losing Gulaal, let alone thinking about it) and Gulaal's words saying that Love isnt selfish or based on conditions... and that he doesnt love her, but only loves himself - and this is the very thing he said in the mandir scene yesterday he knows love isnt measured or based on conditions, and time, and its the very thing that cuts him that Gulaal thinks that of him... (but we know and can see why one would think Kesar's love is like that, coz of what he displayed last week)
The one line said by Gulaal said it all i think - That he just wants wife, you would just be there for him always, in his room and just for him... hurtful that line was coz we all know Kesar doesnt think that but if we simplify it, it does add and come up to what Gulaal is saying, why does he want his wife back in the house... so she just stays with him and near, what else does he want... thats just coming across he wants a possession
Last flashback was Gulaal telling him that before without Vasant she was alone, and now being with him she is still alone...
We all know in the past that Kesar has flashbacks of certain things and words that have hurt and him and thinks over them when he is riding off or alone and today after a long time it seems, we get a scene like that - the Kesar we know and have seen like this
Gulaal is worried, even if she doesnt show it like Talli is or like JK's tongue is doing lol, but inside she is worried, and you saw it somewhat more when the lights went out in the house and JK saying something bad might just happen... i have to say lights going out do indicate that, and fact that is heavy rain and storm, seeing as D couldnt find him in any of the places he could of think and looks like Talli only knows where he could be, i am pretty sure i think we saw Gulaal trying to think of places where he could be, or the one place he goes to when he is angry and upset (i still remember when little Kesar used to get angry and upset)
Less said about Sudha the better, that woman i do not get only coz i do understand as a mother she felt hurt and angry and would be, but not to the level she is taking it, esp as everything happened in front of her, like the wedding stopped and Kesar said what he did, and explained and then at the panchayant, she heard as well... so i dont know how she is being petty at such things and holding on when she has heard it all, there would eb difference if none of that happened in front of her, but it did
Poor Kesar, looks like he has stayed in one place all this time and not moved and here he is shivering and not even made an attempt to go home, and we all know why as he says that he wont go back home, and everyone blames him and holds him responsible - what can we say about Kesar here, he himself is making things bad for himself isnt he but being how he is - isnt that what Gulaal stated to JK, that his ownself and his attitude has made him like this - Gulaal wasnt being harsh, but she stated a fact, coz clearly in that scene of Kesar not moving and staying out in the rain, is what he did himself, that what the scene told her when he told D and Talli, he doesnt want to come home and so on... and being stubborn shall i say
Kesar thinks everyone blames him (but we all know why ppl said to him what they did and why), but you know most ppl's stares towards Gulaal say - accusing her of this situation, and of getting Kesar to this state and what has become of him, isnt that what JK taunts said and Raman's look towards her said!?
Gulaal i say does care, but she is now showing it in her own way, even if she is keeping a gap between her and Kesar, as she sits across from him
It was nice to see Gulaal think of the time Kesar took care of when she was ill, and today as he lays asleep - when she knows he needs care and so on, but then that one flashback is also attached with why she left the house in the first place, ILU rain confession and then Reva telling her that Kesar lodged a complaint against her and why she left the house...
Lovely scene we got between Kesar-Gulaal, coz you saw such a simple thing that Kesar does - covers her with his blanket he was using as she as fell asleep near the window, and gazes at her and did i see a small slight, ever so slightly smile when he goes back down to sleep and keeps looking at her, and then in the morning as he wakes up he has got his blanket back on him, and then you see a sight you thought you would never see Gulaal smiling lol (i am pretty sure we all thought Kesar is seeing things, the very thing he craves to see, his Gulaal smiling and looking at him like that, and you saw him having a contented smile) but as he opens his eyes again, what do we get Talli lol
Gulaal is not gonna show Kesar her concern as such knowing full well he brought it on himself.. which he did coz that rain scene and what he said confirmed that. And like i said earlier, each way she is getting accusations from each member of the family esp JK on look at what she has done to Kesar, when Gulaal knows full well that its mostly Kesar who does this to himself as well, and then Kesar zidd on not taking the wet bandage fuelled Gulaal (at this point it dont matter if its Talli or someone else being asked to do it this is between Kes-Gul, but the good thing is that Talli is witnessing this, coz Sudha is stirring in a way that Gulaal is like this and that), on what is he trying to do and what is he trying to prove and as she says why is he making things even more difficult then they already are, and putting more pressure on her and that she lives like she has even more and making the other family members taunt her more and more.. coz this is what is happening... after the lashing session looks like Kesar does listen and asks Talli do put the bandage on, why couldnt he just have it on before when she said lol. Kesar does want Gulaal to do little things for him and so on, but as we saw he isnt gonna do it, because to Gulaal is looks like a silly zidd he has and isnt that what the precap is proving to be as well, making it difficult for him and her, when he refuses to do anything and acts out like this
As Talli, you got to feel for her when what she said to Sudha, she knows Kesar doesnt love, wont ever and knows how Gulaal is and so on... but does that mean she stops caring and loving for him and so on, and Talli at times will feel hurt, but knowing what i have seen her - she will accept it, coz its going to hurt, for a moment Talli reminded me of Gulaal and how she loves Vasant, and continues to do so...
Do i see a Raman V Dushyant coming up, just like JK, Raman has no idea what sort of accusations they are putting on Gulaal as such, coz only D knows why his own life is the way it is, and why he is living like that and deserves to and Gulaal is the one who has done alot for this then put together him and anyone in the house, how easily do all of them forget, and i dont think D loves Gulaal like that anymore, only thing left in his is utter respect he has for her... and only thing he can give to her and she deserves it and so much more
D and Gulaal talk was interesting(though before you see Gulaal sitting starting into nothing), coz we know Gulaal and D have reached a silent understandign of where they stand and always do, as D says he didnt want to put any pressure on and so on with the panchyant decision, but we all saw that the decision was based on everything considered on what was laid out in front of them and so on. Interesting and significant line was said by Gulaal ' Shayad yeh panchayant ka nahi, Meri kismat ka faisla hai' How true is that... i leave it up to you guys
Also i think Kesar is a yo-yo - he goes up and he goes down, between a adult who has such deep simple thoughts in him and then a stroppy, stubborn immature ziddi teenager... who instant of trying to make things better is making things difficult, and the difficult part is what Gulaal sees and feels coz she gets the accusations and so on when Kesar does something, she gets the brunt of it...
I will say this, that what Revji baapji said about Kesar yesterday who has to take care of himself first has to happen, otherwise, there is no growth in Kesar, everything that has happened, he is still not getting it - the whole picture - he still isnt seeing it from Gulaal's pov, and you know why that is important, coz Gulaal's pov is the actual reality going on, the actual problem and somewhat solution...
PRECAP - Gulaal has sent the food for him, and if he wants anything else, then let her know, well we get Kesar showing his zidd and he actually said zidd, that he aint gonna eat unless Gulaal herself feeds him, and Gulaal says to JK, probably after JK has a go towards her (not surprised lol), and Gulaal says if he wants to eat or not its his own decision, but she isnt gonna feed him
Arjun
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Anupamaa
