Things I Noticed - 06/29/11

• Okay, I'm not going to lie.. Taali's last/first dialogue made NO sense to me.. I mean it was so abrupt! It made no sense to me yesterday and it made no sense to me today.. Baat kuch ho rahi thie aur beech mein achanak sey "Kesar, tu Gulaal ka pyaar paana chahta hai ya usey hamesha hamesha k liye khona chahta hai?".. Hein?! 😆 What?! *scratches head* Who said anything about wanting to loose Gulaal?! No wonder Kesar was so taken aback - he's NEVER implied, suggested or even THOUGH about having to loose Gulaal (as he said).. I mean even recently when Gulaal left, I don't think Kesar ever felt like he'd "lost" her.. As he mentioned today, the sole reason for his need to make her stay was because SHE loved the house (as much as she claims otherwise!) and he just wanted her happy and around him.. But even if she HAD to live away from him, I don't think Kesar would ever truly feel that loss of connection where he'd feel he's "lost" Gulaal.. Like he said, he's her parchayi.. She's always in his thoughts and I'm willing to bet that to a certain degree he's always in hers (even if it isn't out of affection for now). So really, Talli's question about having to loose Gulaal was the first Kesar ever heard of it and I think that was the first time he ever realized that it MAY have been a possibility too.. Because it's after that comment that he gets even more restless and now he really wants to know what his "fault" is and what else he COULD have done?! I mean he'd pleaded with her, he'd begged, he'd tried to go to her house and placate her logically and he'd tired to just stubbornly ask her to return too (that night when he goes out side of her window and asks her to come home).. He'd done EVERYTHING and he'd done it all only to see Gulaal happy! To see her where she feels she belongs.. And if he was getting a bit of happiness along with it, toh WHY does THAT become the sole point that everyone focuses on and why is that used to belittle his intentions by calling them "selfish"!? I really do want to know just as much as Kesar does - WHY is he the one who's being considered at fault here?! Didn't Gulaal leave the house too? Isn't that something that people should be upset about too? Didn't she disregard a decision she herself had initiated in the first place - panchayaat mein Gulaal hi gayi thie! So why is it that Gulaal can do everything and get away with it scot free in the name of "turmoil".. But if Kesar does anything to placate his "turmoil", he's considered a bratty child who lets his temperamental moodiness rule his actions?! *shakes head* No wonder her rushed out of there - I think I'm a little frustrated FOR him.. 😆

• Oh God! This Sudhama has totally jamaoed kabza on the kitchen! 😆 If only she'd jamaoed such kabza on her husband and not been so spineless - if only.. *sigh* Khair.. Ye bhi dekh lete hain.
  

• Jamuna Kaki is up front and center when it comes to passing taunts and snide remarks, but koi zara sa bhi kuch wapis bol dey toh aag lag jati hai! 😆 Totally random, but I was Gulaal, I'd have made lame/annoying comments in front of Jamuna Kaki (and most likely addressed to HER alone) just to piss her off.. 🤣

• I'm going to have to say that I really feel for Gulaal in the current episodes.. *hides from chappals*.. 😆 I mean, really.. She's being FORCED beyond her wishes to do something she doesn't want to. Ever since Kesar came back, this silent forcing was omnipresent from her mother's and Jamuna Kaki's side.. for the past week or so (in serial time) Gulaal's had to bear so much family pressure to accept Kesar... something she feels she cannot do and does not WANT to do! I mean sure Kesar is a nice guy and we know he really would keep her happy and that he loves her and she'd love him too if she gives herself a chance, but if we put all this aside for one minute and just for the sake of this argument think about this whole scenario from Gulaal's perspective we'd realize just how much of a psychological torture she's been through in the past couple of days. From finding out that her decisions (to perform deeyarvatu with Kesar or to get Kesar married to Talli) have all back fired and created trouble/pain for those involved (something she never wanted!) to realizing that Kesar not only had been unintentionally hurt by her decision of deeyarvatu but now also loves her (something she just cannot accept as long as she lives in her Vasant world) to having to bear the CONSTANT pressure from her mother where she felt unwelcome/unwanted in her own house to being FORCED against her will to return to a place that would remind her of the ugly truth (as she sees it) when all she wants to do is live her life in blissful ignorance.. This almost complete loss of any personal freedom that she may have had in the matter, this utter disregard for HER feelings (as she sees them).. And then to have to bear Jamuna Kaki's constant comments about her not being a good "patni" when she clearly hasn't accepted the relationship or even felt remotely less hostile about it.. *sigh* This is all too much! It would be for anyone! And really, it is NO wonder k being as cornered as she's been, that she lashes out at Kesar in as hurtful a manner as possible. She's hurting/confused and going through a constant sense of helplessness! Again, similar to what Kesar had felt with regards to his feelings for Gulaal earlier in the year.. So I really do not hold Gulaal's behavior against her.. I just wish, again, that she find the courage in her to take that leap of faith, step out side of the boundary she's sketched around her and really give happiness a chance.. *sigh*

• Oh Kesar! *sigh* I really feel for him - for his constant loss of clarity.. Hamesha, har waqt, kisi na kisi baat pe he's always lost! Pehley he was in a constant state of turmoil with regards to what he felt for Gulaal - the whole cocktail of emotions that he couldn't reconcile and understand.. And now that he's understood what he wants, now that he KNOWS what he feels, he's having to justify it to everyone without anyone else bothering to give him any answers in return! He has to justify his love, prove himself in front of Gulaal, the rest of the family and the samaj.. But neither Gulaal nor rest of the family or the samaj is willing to extend him the same courtesy and just TELL him what he did WRONG?! WHY can he not love Gulaal? Is it because of his age? And if so, WHY would it be perfectly okay were the male and female roles reversed?! Or is it because of the self-induced boundary that Gulaal has placed herself in - the one where she's forever going to live her life in VASANT's house fulfilling VASANT's dreams with no regards for her OWN dreams or Kesar's for that matter? He has so many questions, so much he doesn't understand simply because he isn't tainted by the "should" and "should nots" of the society.. *sigh*.. On another note though, I really did love how he is slowly realizing the reason/logic (however twisted it may be) behind Gulaal's reaction to his confessions and her behavior ever since. She's really enveloped herself in Vasant's memories and life as a desperate attempt to maintain her sanity post his death. Vasant k sapney, Vasant ka ghar, Vasant ka gaon.. It was all she did to keep Vasant live in her heart and consequently make her live a little more bearable by keeping his thoughts close by. She hasn't wanted change and is quite frankly scared of it.. But that's okay - that's alright, Kesar says.. He doesn't want her to love him.. He doesn't need her to reciprocate his feelings.. All he asks for, all he wants is for her to give him credit for what HE says HE feels! To take his word for it when he tells her that he LOVES her.. To not disregard his emotions for her or insult them by being entirely too dismissive of them.. And to view his emotions and love just as what it IS - a love that's selfless, that reveres her.. To accept that he does truly LOVE her and want her happy.. Just to give him credit for when he said he KNOWS what he feels! *sigh* It's ironic how Gulaal is so convinced of what she feels - of the love she still feels for Vasant or the love/care she feels for Talli and Sudha - she's so convinced and expects Sudha to believe it and Talli to trust in it.. Heck, she even asked Kesar to trust her feelings for him - that when she tells him she wants what's best for him and for the family, that he not question her judgement. She'd asked him not to doubt her "imandari".. Yet she has no qualms about turning around and doubting his.. *sigh* Haye Gulaal! If only you'd stop and realize that Kesar isn't an "immature child" who throws tantrums and doesn't know what he wants.. Just because he doesn't understand the twisted rules of samaj does not hint at a lack of maturity - but rather points towards a greater sense of one.. (Waise I really loved his dialogues! Such brilliance they were.. You were right Anu jee! 😳😆)

• So Gulaal, apparently you'd left your "atma" outside the house, eh? *smirks* Toh do you mind explaining why Jamuna Kaki's "tera is ghar sey rishta hi kya hai!" comment hurt you so? Especially since you'd claimed yourself to have severed all ties from this house now that Vasant isn't here and Kesar is technically NOT your husband in your eyes.. I mean wasn't THAT precisely your logic behind leaving the house (or so you claimed) - k because Kesar can never be your husband in your eyes, that you have consequently no relationship with the house too.. *shakes head* Oh Gulaal! *smirks some more*

• And I really liked how Baapji KNEW k Gulaal was unhappy.. I mean I was having my doubt when he didn't even flinch at the sight of her gigantic ansoo.. 😆 But it turns out he was just entertaining her assumption k she had convincingly lied to him.. Right up until he reaches out and wipes her tears.. And then she knows that her pain isn't hidden anymore. I love how she didn't need to spell it out for Baapji - he just knew and later she knew that he did.. And that one silent stare that passed between them before he turned around and left - it felt like Gulaal was pleading him to not ASK about the tears or speak the words.. *sigh some more*

• I know Poonamba means well for her daughter but I just CANNOT stand her. Especially after her recent "Kesar tera pati hai! Tu ghalat hai Gulaal!" jaap.. I mean I really know she means well.. but I think I need a time out from her.. 😆

• LOL! Gulaal's STILL using her ever trusting delivery service a.k.a. Talli?! Lol! Oh Lord Gulaal! And I'm sure Talli maharani bhi ley jateen araam sey without making her take it (aik baar suggest karna is NOT enough! I mean does she NOT know how vehemently Gulaal opposes Kesar's thoughts? Toh aik do baar aur bolna toh banta hi tha!).. Woh toh bhala ho "Sudha-ma" ka jo woh time pe aa gayen.. 😆 Although I have to say that her "meri bachi ki zindagi barbad kardi" wala comment just had me fuming again! Ajeeb melodrama hai bhai! BARBAD ho gayi Talli ki zindagi? How so, pray tell? Abhi bhi she lives at home with respect, gets fed and clothed and is loved by all.. EVEN the guy who ditched her at the alter has since apologized and has treated her with respect.. toh please explain k aisi KAUNSI barbadi dekh li aap ki beti ne! Other then off course suffer from her first heart break - one that was more self induced than anything else with major enabling from your end.. *rolls eyes* Nautanki...

• LOL!! So you don't care about Kesar, haan Gulaal? You don't want to see his face and you don't feel a special connection with him? Because all your "haq" and "rishte" are solely for and with Vasant? *smirks some more* If that's true then I'm absolutely sure that I've wings growing out my back.. *smirks*
  

Thank you every one for your lovely comments! I'm a bit swamped at work right now but I'll reply to each of your posts individually as soon as I get some free time! 😳