Posted:
OODI-BABA IN KBC!!!!!!!
Oodi-baba was in desperate need of some money to convert his
house(sorry, zoo) into a full-time ashram and make Anant a
panditji...when he heard that KBC was coming again, he
applied...Although he failed in all the preliminary rounds (he has
never been to school na?...that's why he is so jealous of Anant), he
made it to the final 10 somehow by glaring at the authorities with his
eyes... when he took his seat among the other nine contestants, he
sent his laser-beam glare at the others. The stare was so fierce that they ran away from the studio for dear life. Being the only contestant
that remained in the studio, oodi-baba was invited to the hot seat...
AB: Aaj hamare saath hain amazon forest ke oodi-baba...Namaskar
oodi: Pranaam...mangalam bhavantu...
AB: Ji...game shuru karne se pehle aapke baare mem hum kuch
jaanna chahoge...aap kya karte ho?
oodi: Mujhe kuch karne ki zaroorath nahi hain...ghar mem din raath
doosron ko daraathe daraathe samay bitata hoon...aapko pata hoga
ki hamaare ghar ki parampara aur anushaasan yahi kehte hain ki...
AB: (cuts short)Aaj aapke saath yahan kaun aaya hain?
oodi: My elder grandson Mohan
AB (searches for Mohan among the audience): Where is he?...He is
not among the audience
oodi: woh mere seat ki neeche hain...massaging my feet...dhamki
diya hain ki agar massage nahi kiya toh 'oodi-baba - the mahaan' ashram mem enroll karoonga...
AB: Let's begin Kaun Banega Crorepati...(Background Music...)
AB: Which is the third English alphabet?...options A - A, B- B, C- C,
D- D
oodi: Hmm...yeh toh mushkil sa sawaal hain...pehla sawaal ithna
katin banana parampara ki virudh hain...maine toh aajtak kisi bhi
vidyaalay ka darvaasa bhi nahin dekha hain...bachpan se leke
aajtak pravachan deke aaya hoon...prabhuji, kya karein...hum toh
dharm sankat mem hain...(says some so-called Hindi words which
nobody understands)
AB: You have 3 life-lines at your disposal
oodi: Nahin...dhanyavaad, mere zoo mem already ek land-line
hain...theen lifelines ke liye hamare zoo mem space nahin hain...
AB: No... There are three facilities which might help you to answer
this question...50-50, phone-a-friend & audience poll
(oodi-baba demands a translation of all these life-lines in pure Sanskrit &
finally decides to make use of phone-a-friend)
AB: Computerji, please connect us to oodi-baba's home land-line
(phone rings for a long time & finally someone attends the call, who
turns out to be ANANT!!)
AB: Ji namaskar, mem KBC se Amitabh Bachchan bol raha
hoon...aaj mere saath aapke baba hain...aap kaun bol rahe ho??
(at the other end): Anant
AB: oodi-babaji, you have 30 seconds to ask this question...your time
starts now...(countdown begins...)
OODI-BABA'S EYES TURN RED & APPARENTLY WILL COME
OUT OF THE EYE SOCKETS ANY MOMENT
oodi-baba: ANANT...TUMHARI HIMMANT KAISI HUI PHONE
UTANE KA...MAINE TOH TUMSE 6 HOURS MEDITATE
KARNE KO KAHA THAANA??!!!!...AUR USKE BAAD "HOW TO
UPHOLD PARAMPARA & BAN MODERNIZATION" PAR EK
SPEECH THAYYAR KARNE KO BHI KAHA THA...AUR TUM
TELEPHONE JAISE AADHUNIK THAMAASHA KE LIYE APNA
TIME BARBAAT KAR RAHE HO??? (10 seconds already over...)😡
(the whole studio trembles & some people sitting among the audience
scream...)
AB: oodiji, time is running out...ask the question...
oodi-baba(not listening): TUMHE PATA HAIN ISKA HAMARE
PARAMPARA PAR KYA ASAR HOGA???...GHAR AAKE MAIN TUMHARA WOH HAALATH KAROONGA KI TUM AAGE SE TELEPHONE DEKTE HI BEHOSH HO JAYEGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(20 seconds over...)
AB: Time...!!!
oodi-baba: HAMARE GHAR KI PARAMPARA...?!?
line goes dead...Centre shock Baba spent the whole 30 secs
speaking passionately about the inevitable PARAMPARA...
AB: Because of your amazing intellect, your first life-line has
gone...now 50-50 & Audience poll.
oodi-baba: woh biscuit naam waala sahaayatha(he means 50-50)
dijiye...
AB: OK computerji...please take away two wrong answers...
(B & D vanishes)
AB: Ok...now the answer is either A or C
oodi-baba: (chanting) yeh kaisa pareeksha hain
prabhuji...hmm...variance...
AB: You mean audience??
oodi-baba(embarrassed): Ji
AB: ok...audience...now it's your turn...
(after some minutes, the graph showing public opinion
appears...98% votes for C...)
AB: 98% Janta believe that the answer is C
oodi-baba turns around & examines the audience...many of them
wore jeans & some had plugged the headset of their I-POD into their
ears...almost all of them were giggling at how the great center shock
baba had wasted two of his three life-lines to find out what the third
english alphabet was...😆😆😆😆😆
oodi-baba: Kya mein ghar jaake apne panditji se pooch sakta
hoon??...woh sankhya jyothish ke anusaar(he means numerology)
iska uttar dega
AB: No...you can't
oodi-baba: Yeh jeans pehennewale logom ki opinion se sehmath hone
se behthar maut hain...isliye mera answer hain "A"...
AB: sure?...confident?...shall I lock?
oodi-baba: Avashya(means Indeed)
AB: Mujhe yeh kehne mem bahut khushi hain ki aapka jawab
bilkul...GALATH HAIN!!!!...YOU'RE OUT!!!...
(Audience break into celebration...singing 'oodi-baba oodi-baba')...👏
oodi-baba: dekho aaj ka zamaaana kitne bure hain...kal tak teesra
alphabet 'A' tha...aur aaj achanak 'C' hogaya!!!!!!!!!...prabhuji!!!!...😡
oodi-baba sets the whole studio on fire with his horrific stare & leaves
for home, hoping to send the already horror-struck Anant to coma!!!!
Oodi-baba was in desperate need of some money to convert his
house(sorry, zoo) into a full-time ashram and make Anant a
panditji...when he heard that KBC was coming again, he
applied...Although he failed in all the preliminary rounds (he has
never been to school na?...that's why he is so jealous of Anant), he
made it to the final 10 somehow by glaring at the authorities with his
eyes... when he took his seat among the other nine contestants, he
sent his laser-beam glare at the others. The stare was so fierce that they ran away from the studio for dear life. Being the only contestant
that remained in the studio, oodi-baba was invited to the hot seat...
AB: Aaj hamare saath hain amazon forest ke oodi-baba...Namaskar
oodi: Pranaam...mangalam bhavantu...
AB: Ji...game shuru karne se pehle aapke baare mem hum kuch
jaanna chahoge...aap kya karte ho?
oodi: Mujhe kuch karne ki zaroorath nahi hain...ghar mem din raath
doosron ko daraathe daraathe samay bitata hoon...aapko pata hoga
ki hamaare ghar ki parampara aur anushaasan yahi kehte hain ki...
AB: (cuts short)Aaj aapke saath yahan kaun aaya hain?
oodi: My elder grandson Mohan
AB (searches for Mohan among the audience): Where is he?...He is
not among the audience
oodi: woh mere seat ki neeche hain...massaging my feet...dhamki
diya hain ki agar massage nahi kiya toh 'oodi-baba - the mahaan' ashram mem enroll karoonga...
AB: Let's begin Kaun Banega Crorepati...(Background Music...)
AB: Which is the third English alphabet?...options A - A, B- B, C- C,
D- D
oodi: Hmm...yeh toh mushkil sa sawaal hain...pehla sawaal ithna
katin banana parampara ki virudh hain...maine toh aajtak kisi bhi
vidyaalay ka darvaasa bhi nahin dekha hain...bachpan se leke
aajtak pravachan deke aaya hoon...prabhuji, kya karein...hum toh
dharm sankat mem hain...(says some so-called Hindi words which
nobody understands)
AB: You have 3 life-lines at your disposal
oodi: Nahin...dhanyavaad, mere zoo mem already ek land-line
hain...theen lifelines ke liye hamare zoo mem space nahin hain...
AB: No... There are three facilities which might help you to answer
this question...50-50, phone-a-friend & audience poll
(oodi-baba demands a translation of all these life-lines in pure Sanskrit &
finally decides to make use of phone-a-friend)
AB: Computerji, please connect us to oodi-baba's home land-line
(phone rings for a long time & finally someone attends the call, who
turns out to be ANANT!!)
AB: Ji namaskar, mem KBC se Amitabh Bachchan bol raha
hoon...aaj mere saath aapke baba hain...aap kaun bol rahe ho??
(at the other end): Anant
AB: oodi-babaji, you have 30 seconds to ask this question...your time
starts now...(countdown begins...)
OODI-BABA'S EYES TURN RED & APPARENTLY WILL COME
OUT OF THE EYE SOCKETS ANY MOMENT
oodi-baba: ANANT...TUMHARI HIMMANT KAISI HUI PHONE
UTANE KA...MAINE TOH TUMSE 6 HOURS MEDITATE
KARNE KO KAHA THAANA??!!!!...AUR USKE BAAD "HOW TO
UPHOLD PARAMPARA & BAN MODERNIZATION" PAR EK
SPEECH THAYYAR KARNE KO BHI KAHA THA...AUR TUM
TELEPHONE JAISE AADHUNIK THAMAASHA KE LIYE APNA
TIME BARBAAT KAR RAHE HO??? (10 seconds already over...)😡
(the whole studio trembles & some people sitting among the audience
scream...)
AB: oodiji, time is running out...ask the question...
oodi-baba(not listening): TUMHE PATA HAIN ISKA HAMARE
PARAMPARA PAR KYA ASAR HOGA???...GHAR AAKE MAIN TUMHARA WOH HAALATH KAROONGA KI TUM AAGE SE TELEPHONE DEKTE HI BEHOSH HO JAYEGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(20 seconds over...)
AB: Time...!!!
oodi-baba: HAMARE GHAR KI PARAMPARA...?!?
line goes dead...Centre shock Baba spent the whole 30 secs
speaking passionately about the inevitable PARAMPARA...
AB: Because of your amazing intellect, your first life-line has
gone...now 50-50 & Audience poll.
oodi-baba: woh biscuit naam waala sahaayatha(he means 50-50)
dijiye...
AB: OK computerji...please take away two wrong answers...
(B & D vanishes)
AB: Ok...now the answer is either A or C
oodi-baba: (chanting) yeh kaisa pareeksha hain
prabhuji...hmm...variance...
AB: You mean audience??
oodi-baba(embarrassed): Ji
AB: ok...audience...now it's your turn...
(after some minutes, the graph showing public opinion
appears...98% votes for C...)
AB: 98% Janta believe that the answer is C
oodi-baba turns around & examines the audience...many of them
wore jeans & some had plugged the headset of their I-POD into their
ears...almost all of them were giggling at how the great center shock
baba had wasted two of his three life-lines to find out what the third
english alphabet was...😆😆😆😆😆
oodi-baba: Kya mein ghar jaake apne panditji se pooch sakta
hoon??...woh sankhya jyothish ke anusaar(he means numerology)
iska uttar dega
AB: No...you can't
oodi-baba: Yeh jeans pehennewale logom ki opinion se sehmath hone
se behthar maut hain...isliye mera answer hain "A"...
AB: sure?...confident?...shall I lock?
oodi-baba: Avashya(means Indeed)
AB: Mujhe yeh kehne mem bahut khushi hain ki aapka jawab
bilkul...GALATH HAIN!!!!...YOU'RE OUT!!!...
(Audience break into celebration...singing 'oodi-baba oodi-baba')...👏
oodi-baba: dekho aaj ka zamaaana kitne bure hain...kal tak teesra
alphabet 'A' tha...aur aaj achanak 'C' hogaya!!!!!!!!!...prabhuji!!!!...😡
oodi-baba sets the whole studio on fire with his horrific stare & leaves
for home, hoping to send the already horror-struck Anant to coma!!!!
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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