Tellyville Bound

Nope, it's not true. Nobody is saying goodbye to the Hindu Undivided Family. Reality TV - with its interactive shows, big moolah and colossal prizes -- is nothing more than the Mallika Sherawat of prime time television, with its nine minutes of fame. MADHULIKA VARMA settles down to watch the highs and lows of various tele contests that offer proverbial pots of gold at the end of the rainbow

The saas-bahu sagas still stand rock solid on TVR charts. No one can match the staying power of Baa (Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi, TAM rating 9.5) who's older than some of the Egyptian mummies excavated on Discovery, but even the powerful Ektaa Kapoor daren't strike her off the roster.
Agreed, the first lady among the saases is being laid to rest, but Tulsi Reigns Supreme. She's down in the circular lounge once again, where all the family dramas take place to the tune of crashing drums and wildly revolving cameras. She's boohooing about the aches of putting mamta over suhaag. If she has her way, her poor husband, Mihir, may just go to the gallows.

The poor guy isn't faring too well in his other avatar as Rishabh Bajaj (Kasautii Zindagii Kay). For 20 years now, he's been driving around aimlessly, talking to himself, because Prerna will cut him no slack. And, yes, she's still making those bambi eyes at lost beau, Anurag; tears are flowing uninterrupted, like the Niagara. Hence, the rating of 8.5.

The meddlesome Parvati, (Kahaani Ghar Ghar Kii) revelling in brand new widowhood, is in the business of marrying off all mammals over 18 and stalking Suyesh Mehra (Mohnish Behl) on her off days. In real life, she'd be locked away for being such a pest, but Ektaa can't touch her either. She's got a rating of 8.5.
The Kumkums, Bhabhis and Kesars on Star Dopahar are safe in matrimonial bliss, periodically holding up their sieves, romancing the karwa chauth moon in their designer bindis and Manish Malhotra cast-offs. The Ratings notwithstanding, it's all beginning to taste like old chewing gum. Can't blame the channel heads. It's not for want of trying. They've been looking hard for an antidote. Remember the well-orchestrated attack of the plain Janes? Jassi, who gave you nightmares with her soda glasses and dentured smile? She was such an ordinary girl she wouldn't recognise a bottle of bleach if she saw one. The robust buch, Miilee, who's a guy pretending to be Mona Wasu. Or Shanno - Divya Mallik, who wears a couple of pillows to work as Shanno whose shaadi they're all planning.