-Ehtesaab-
3
Lost in a world that seemed so alien now, life in ruined and bare. trust seems only like a folktale in this empty world that surrounded her filled with darkness and pain.
A week had passed & every thing was the same. Dev's office timing...her wait every thing but wat was felt now..more than ever was loneliness within. An emptiness. She felt like she had no one to share her sorrows with. She never felt a need of a friend when she thought she had dev by her. But now she missed him.. she missed his love.. his expression of love that she thought was only hers.
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every day Geet left to the gym but some how didn't make it..she sat in the park that came on her way. She always believed we don't fall in love, rather love is a state of being, it grows over time, as you get to know someone, as you get to know yourself... so for her dev was every thing. She didn't know anything about herself without him. There was no question of forgiveness she thought..because she never differentiated herself from him. He was wrong ..then she was wrong..so they were wrong together some where. forgiveness was not required.
Then a sweet voice muttered - how can u hate the conduct of someone u love
he absently replied without even looking at her - It is possible, and I think its OK, to love someone and reject their behavior
she blankly looked at him
he turned to meet her eyes..It is ok to not want to be with them then.
He was shocked to see her like..this..she probably looked like she has gained some weight, still her face seemed pale & drawn in.. he immediately held her arms..
tum teehk ho na? Oh god I have been so worried for u? R u alright?
she didn't seem to register anything wat he said..actually even he was not... she just asked wat about longing then??
she still looked at him blankly .. wat about longing then?
He couldn't deny those eyes..they seemed in so much of pain...pain that seemed to wrench his heart for some reason. Longing is about loss you haven't grieved. He said it lost in those teary painful eyes
wat to do then she still questioned him
don't let go!!!
even if it hurts???
wat hurts more matters here!!!
She raised to her full height.. she just walked pass him still lost in her thought...she walked few steps ahead & she came back & hugged him.. thanks
he couldn't dare to hug her back. He just stood their with a warm smile.
She smiled weakly & walked to the gym. Oddly he was happy. Like it meant a lot to see her cross the road yet again. He did see her regularly then on.
She finally got to speak to him on friday.
Dev we need to talk
umm.still flipping some files
I want to spend more time with u
bolo kya karna hain
kanhi chalten hain na..like a holiday
he pulls out his blackberry & shows the meetings lined up for next whole month.
Aacha main office join kar loon?
He snapped so that u can keep eye on me..tumhara bhi ne ghar main rah kar dimaag kharab hogaya hain..
she was terribly hurt..she didn't even think on those lines, she was genuinely wanting to spend time with him. He was always sharp tongued but his words seemed to hurt more now.
Shall I join some other place
wats wrong with u?? u know I don't like all that..waisen bhi u r a college srop out wat job u will get??
that hurt..but not more than wat she was already hurt..main ghar pe rah kar bore ho jathi hoon
wat happened to all of ur classes?
Dev u don't get it do u?
He yelled WAT?
I feel very lonely
all these years u didn't ..now all of a sudden u do
thats because all this years I thought u r there for me
I am still there for u
no ..at least I don't feel u r there for me
thats ur problem
when was her problem different from his..she thought. She looked at him confused & puzzled.
Does my problem matter to u?
I have given u every thing ghar gaadi.. pasen..all the facilty..wat more do u want now
I want u dev..not all this
I am here with u
not any more she said sadly
I have clearly told u about her.
I am not talking about her she screamed..why r u then??
DON'T SHOUT
she calmed herself, she seldom raised her voice in front of him. She took a deep breath
dev can't we plan about babies, don't u think it will be good for us.
Why do u always come up this topic?
U had said ki ek bar business set hojayen ga we will.. abhi tho sab teehk hain na
I need some more time
Geet also didn't want to force herself she believed it had to be both their decisions & they need to give a warm hearty welcome to their little love.
Precap
pushing to the brim
it really motivates me & helps me to write more
love
muskan
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