I CANNOT FALL IN LOVE WITH ANYONE NOW
The first time I interviewed Sara Khan was when she had just entered the television world with Bidaai as a demure 16-year-old, with dreams of becoming a popular star. And not much later, she managed that too. But in the years that she has been here, her journey to the top has been anything but easy. In the past few months, the actress' personal life has been a rollercoaster ride. She got married to her boyfriend of four years Ali Merchant in the Bigg Boss (BB) house, as witnessed by the entire nation. However, just a month later, her marriage fell apart. Quite naturally, it sent shock waves across their fan base and though there have been speculations, neither party confirmed any of the rumours. In one of her most heart-rendering interviews, Sara speaks to Showtime about her life, post the entire ruckus.
In the past few years, from a young, free-spirited girl, Sara has matured into a sensible woman – something that I discover during the interview. Beginning from her stint in Bigg Boss, I ask her why she decided to enter the house, which is infamous for controversies and scandals. "I wanted a break from Sadhana (her character in Bidaai).I wanted to try something like Bigg Boss. I had heard a lot about it as it is the most popular reality show in India. I thought I would go in the house, just for an experience. I had a few good experiences and some very bad ones. But life must go on," she says optimistically.
While she was in the house, Sara's close proximity to Ashmit Patel became the talk of the town. Till date, she is disturbed with the link-up. Highly annoyed, she says, "This is so sick. I had never met Ashmit before in my life. I met him for the first time in the BB house. I really want to figure out who spread these rumours. You tell me, after coming out from the house, did you see me with him anywhere, except at his birthday party? We share a good relationship and treat each other as brother and sister. That's it. We were close to each other in the house because we used to talk a lot and do masti. It doesn't mean that there was something brewing between us."
But with what the viewers got to see on their TV sets (the two cuddling and getting too close for comfort), one can hardly blame them for assuming. Sara justifies, "According to me, I haven't done anything wrong. Earlier they showed footage of us being close to each other. But it was proved later that we lived like siblings. We behaved the same from day one till the end. They showed it all out of context and so it seemed like there was something between us. I myself was shocked when I saw the footage later. I was like f***, this looks bad. I was very disappointed with whatever they showed on Bigg Boss." She agrees that her coy image did take a hit.
There was also her showdown with Dolly Bindra. "I don't want to talk about Dolly. She doesn't even exist in my life, so I shouldn't speak about her." Though Sara was the youngest in the house, there was a time when the other housemates would say a lot of nasty things to her. How did it feel being cornered? "You must have seen that I kept my cool in the house. Even when all the members were against me, the whole junta was with me. They had seen what was right and wrong. I knew that once they came out, they would realise the truth. Of course, when so many people are against you, you feel bad. I felt bad too. But I thought to myself that if these people feel that I am wrong, then they are stupid."
For a while now, all Bigg Boss addicts have been wondering why Sara and Ali decided to get married in the house. Most think it was because they were being offered big moolah for a small-screen wedding. Whatever the case, Sara believes that her marriage with Ali was the biggest mistake of her life. She is distressed and understandably so. "Trust me, this marriage has put me in a big mess. I really want to get out of it. And I am almost out of it now. A lot of bad things have happened with me. I don't want to talk negatively about anyone. My marriage experience was very bad. I definitely made a big mistake in the house. But for me, that marriage has no meaning. Because it took place inside the house and also, it was like a tamasha. I was just not feeling that it was my real wedding. It was like some serial track. Also, I was so shocked when my parents didn't come for the wedding." She takes a pause and continues, "You must have noticed that I wasn't happy. I got married as I wanted to do something good for someone and in the bargain, I got stuck myself."
Also, apparently, Sara and Ali split up after the former came to know that Ali had misused her funds, when she was away battling it out in the Bigg Boss house. When asked about this, Sara maintains a dignified silence. All she reveals is, "When I came out of the house, I came to know a lot of bad things about him but I won't talk about it. He's a nice guy and he should do well in his life. I have nothing to do with him now. I just want to say one thing in this context.
People should be honest towards their love at least. Love is something very important. If you get someone who loves you truly and unconditionally, you should accept and respect that, rather than misusing it. I don't hold a grudge against my ex. He's a good guy. It's just that…. See, I can't tell you want went wrong between us, because it's a personal thing. Also, I don't want to spoil anyone's name. And I am not in touch with Ali anymore." The actress hasn't filed for divorce as she doesn't consider it a real marriage.
(To be continued)
*By Purvaja Sawant
