we are like this only!

We are like this only!

Sanaya Dalal
In our special year-end section, Rediff.com looks at some of the quirks that make us Indians. Sanaya Dalal on why we are like this only!

We love some, we hate some but we can't do without any of them because, quite simply put, we are like that only (and as predictable as they come, 'cause we've used that same line about 100,000 times by now).

Oh, the regularity with which life in India ticks could put a grandfather clock to shame. And said grandfather clock is most likely an antique find at one of the country's many flea markets, which, well, make us tick.

All you really are is a big, fat, brown (or wheatish? Or maybe fair and lovely?), smiling face that the many hands of desi life tickle and tease as they please. They'll tweak your moustache, tussle your hair and maybe curl the wisps sticking out of your ears (no Laluji, nothing personal) and take you on an unforgettable ride for as long as you're against the idea of migrating to phoren.

It's not like any of us really need an introduction to what's coming, but we thought we'd give you a jolt anyway -- consider all these things at once and you can judge for yourself where we're all headed (to phoren? Maybe!).

1. Saas-bahu soaps

All the women go to bed completely decked out in embroidered saris and wake up without a single hair out of place.

The evil ones inevitably wear coloured contact lenses and heavy makeup, while the good ones are so meek, so downtrodden, so sacrificing that you want to pull your own hair out at their goody-two-shoes antics.

They worship their no-good, drunkard husbands and bullying in-laws and pray before the family idol each day, bathing it in their pure tears as they beseech the Almighty (who may want to keep a bucket handy, considering the diabetic tripe He's forced to hear) to bring about a change in their lives.

No matter how out of sync they are with reality or how offensive they are to modern, independent women with a shred of self-respect, we will continue to watch and enjoy saas-bahu soaps forever.

And so will those dominating wives who don't hesitate to club their hubbies over the head with a frying pan every now and again -- even they're rooting for the hapless bahus and clucking in sympathy while quiet moans emanate from a corner where someone's bid to watch cricket was once again vetoed with a vessel.