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Hi Guys😊..
I know that I am quite bad with SS/OS and what not..but you have tolerated my crazy poetry. I was kind of disturbed by the story line...so decided to pen something. Please bear with me if it seems too wordy! NOTHING COMPARES TO U.. REMORSESix months had gone by, six long months since Khanak had left...
Shaan went out on the balcony of his 6th floor apartment and the memories started flooding in., The same scenes played over and over in his mind like a broken record.Why was he not able to forget them. Because that had been the worst day of his life. When Khanak had begged and pleaded with him in front of every body to listen to her,and he had told her off. He had demeaned her and himself and their relationship. He had become the judge and the jury.
He had not trusted his wife, who had done so much for him. She had stood by his side, she had put him on a pedestal which he didn't deserve. Moreover, she had stood up for him in front of his father knowing that he was probably wrong and foolish. But most of all she had forgiven him for killing her husband, even though it had been accidental. And what had he done in return? Accused her of adultery! And though the instigator was his so called friend Rahul, he had practically disowned his wife and hit out at Sunny who had shown him his true face. Oh lord!! what a rotten man was he. Thank God he had finally come to his senses and had had a royal face off with Rahul. He could never forgive him nor could he forgive Sam for taking his side.
Poor Khanak, where would she be now? He missed her so terribly...it hurt!! He had never felt this angst, this pain which was gnawing his innards like a tumor. He had never felt this bad!! But hell, he had never missed someone this way before...like he missed Khanak...his darling Khanak! Her face was pasted in his mind like a memory card which could be never deleted. Why, oh why had he not spent more time with her. Why had not taken more pictures? He had just taken their relationship for granted. He had not cherished it..
Shaan banged his hand hard on the railing, wanting to hurt himself. He felt that he could never go back to Khanak to ask her forgiveness. He would not be able to face her.. Though it was not like he hadn't tried! He had, and tried hard to find her but she was not in Dhulwadi and had not been in touch with her friends. She had disappeared into thin air. He had written her several letters pouring his heart out but had never mailed them..his apology should come face to face and not in the guise of words written on a sheet of paper.
When she left Shaan's father had been particularly irritated at him for what he called his childishness. He had berated him for giving away the best thing that had happened to him. Shaan had left in a huff..but now he knew that whatever his dad had said was true and he had not wanted to hear it. He had been immature and impulsive. He had been a regular M.C.P!!
Shaan laughed wryly..wasn't he the one who always used to consider himself modern and open minded! He always had supported women's causes but when it came to his own life, he had failed miserably.
He had taken to drink, hoping to drown his sorrows in a a drunken stupor everyday but it had not worked. Duck, the only one he had kept in touch with had come to his aide and helped him quit saying that Khanak wouldn't have liked to see him this way. Instead he had urged him to find a job, a regular proper job. Shaan smiled, thinking that Khanak would be really proud of him now, seeing him, attempting to make his own life..be his own man. Why, he hadn't even told them at the company that he was Sunil Khandelwal's son for fear of being favored. He had got the job due to his own merit.. Now he was a junior team member on the design side of an advertising company and he was excited. Perhaps he could channel his creativity this way. He found that he was a workaholic!! and liked to keep late hours.... maybe because he hated to come back to an empty house where Khanak's thoughts haunted him every minute.
Shaan sat on his bed and took out his sketch book. He had started sketching in his spare time which was whenever he was alone doing nothing. He flipped through the pages, staring at the images he had drawn...Khanak's eyes..her wide, beautiful, innocent kohl rimmed eyes which were a mirror to her emotions. Her smile...that lovely, spontaneous, bright smile which could light up any body's dark life..and her lips, her full, soft, luscious......
Shaan felt something soft touch his face, a sweet caress. He smiled in his sleep as his wife nibbled his ear and walked her fingers across his torso. He did not open his eyes for he wanted her to continue her to tease and play with him thinking that he was asleep and unaware. He felt the heat rise up in him as she wove her fingers through his hair and her warm breath tickled his skin. But when he felt her silken skin touch his, he could control himself no longer, he opened his eyes, his arms stretched out... Khanak meri jaan!!...
Shaan sat up in bed, his heart pounding....only to realise that it was but a dream..She wasn't there.....he was again all alone.
My Dear Khanak,
I have done you great wrong
By falsely accusing you
By mistrusting you
By putting you down
You, who has never wished
For anything, never asked
You, who has always sought
Your happiness in mine
How can I ask your forgiveness?
How can I make up for my mistakes
How can I just.. say I'm sorry
Without sounding quite a fake
~~~~~
Sorry guys, if I bored U, please do comment😊
Part 2: Pg5
Part 3: pg9
Part 4: Pg12
Part 5: Pg15
Part6: Pg20
Final part: pg 22
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