Once in a lifetime comes a love,
So sweet, so pure, so rare;
A flashing, brilliant, blinding light,
Like a comet through the air.
A love without rhyme or reason,
That knew no space or time.
(Allison)
What can be more pure & sacred than unconditional love that only believes in giving & for taking from you..he wants to take away all your sorrows & pain.
Love that can be compared to devotion & a lover to God...for he is always there when you need him to hold you , protect you, love you & expect nothing in return.
Expect nothing but trust & faith in him , thats all.
To me Maan is one such lover, rather only....
His Wedding night, a night he dreamed of ... the woman he loves , the woman he desires all his socially , legally , morally & physically to cherish....waiting eagerly only for him to love her.
Love he does unconditionally but not alone as a emotion & need , but to him his love & loved ones are his responsibility.
Not alone Geet but the life breathing in her womb it too is his responsibility & first priority to him from the day he has known of its li'l existence in their life .
Though he had walked away from her then refusing to hear her more after she had told him of her pregnancy ..but he cared then too...leaving aside all his anger for her he took care of her when she fainted in his arms ....
He knew she needed him even more now & he could never let her down.
Situations changed , truth dawned ..... the Baby from being Geet's turned into theirs, & his responsibility to him....he made sure she gets ever needed attention to complete the full stage of her pregnancy & bring home new life ....
The moment he first saw the glimpse of the Baby from responsibility it became his dream, their dream ... love.
He went through death himself when Geet & Baby were fighting for their lives.... if anything could have happened to either of them..it could have been his soul that could have been ripped apart......coz to him it could not be his pain alone , not his loss alone to suffer , but of the Geet's too.
To him it has always been that, its never about him, its first Geet, now Geet & Baby then comes them, they three .... he alone never exists , never did when it comes to Geet.
"knowledge is not always a blissful state"
So true it holds...a moment before he never knew that on his wedding day itself he will get to hear the heart wrenching news that may be with all his prayers, love & care he wont be able to save their Baby, he wont be able to keep the promise he made to Geet if situation worsens...now it wont be Baby or Geet & no choice can he make to stay true to the trust she has in him...
Again he bottles up all this knowledge, pain & fear within himself & smiles through the wedding ceremony so that Geet could be kept away from the anxiety & stress that is dangerous for her & their Baby.
He suffers it alone.
He walks away from her on their first night fearing for her delicate state & the knowledge he cannot share as he knows Geet wont be able to handle it & knowing that he is holding back himself for her sake will end up making her more guilty and give her more pain.....he can think of no reason to offer hence the lame but only available reason he uses to maintain their distance , for her & Baby's safety.
Unknown to his intentions & confused with his action , woman in love that she is who has landed in her dreamworld finally with her dream man...to her the distance is hard to bear & not normal .... she knows the passionate man that Maan is....yet his being immune to her presence drives her to initiate things, to stir him.
But the man being Maan, he remains strict to his resolve he craves for her..yearns for her & her trying every moment to seduce him adds much more to his suffering yet he does not give in to his desires....
Trust my love that's what he says
Leave your fears far behind
And that she can't ...she has always felt blessed having him in her life , it is something that gives her all the strength & also a huge fear, fear of losing him.
Having lost & lost so much in life she is unable to believe that her dreams wont shatter again .... this time its so much at stake that if she even comes near to lose it she will kill herself & she fears it max.
Blinded by her own fears, desires & unable to comprehend the depth of the reason for his actions & his love for her .... she reacts. She assumes 'all love lost' in between them .... and she confronts him....blames him of having changed.
She questions him ...' what wrong have i done?'
He looks away fearing that his eyes may tell her of his pain & in no way he wants to burden her with his own...he does not lie but with head bowed down he lets her speak all her fears, her questions
Questions turn to accusation - 'You want to stay away from me , you want this right !'
Shocked by this he looks at her , that she misunderstood him , read him wrong ...he finally begins to share his fears , his own pain with her...with welled up eyes he tells her -
'I'm sorry , i know how much i'm hurting you by breaking your dreams about our nearness but Trust me i'm not happy doing this either...you cannot even imagine how much all this is killing me '
His emotions in the vulnerable most state , he refuses to look at her anymore fearing that he can't hold back his pain from her anymore, not when he is seeing she is in pain too.
He refuses himself the freedom from this inner gulf of torture by not answering her , 'If you are in pain too why are you doing this to us?'
There is no answer now but the truth to this & truth alone he cannot share, he cannot make her go through the fear & pain of having to lose her baby , which obviously is grave compared to her fears & pain now.
He stays quite , his silence pleads for her understanding ,
but again his silence gets misinterpreted as she had done it months back when he had refused to answer to her accusation that he is marrying her only to save Dev & the Khuranas.........
She loses control & voices her loss of trust in his love, their love
'You don't love me anymore now.'
All his hopes that she will trust him , understand him unconditionally as he does, crash to the ground into millions pieces , he looks at her searches her eyes for a single spark of trust she might have for him to hold on to it for his own sanity of mind , he finds none , nothing but questions & glaring accusations
His all hopes shatter again
when she continues with her accusations rather than trying to feel his pain, understand him, atleast try to reason that he who can go through anything to bring that one smile on her face , to whom his own happiness , infact life itself never exists without you being first there .....he now helplessly admitting at not being able to give her joy how much tied down , how much in pain he himself must be.
He looks away to hide his disappointment
She failed him ......fails to understand him,
'Eros turned to Ares'
He looks back again & keeps on searching , trying to read her eyes ....hoping for that one flicker of trust still
But her point-blank disbelieve in his love, their love drives him over the edge & all his raw hurt, emotions flow in & he yells out what she subconsciously has ticked as answers for the questions she hit him with.
'Yes I love to see you suffer, this is what you wanted to hear , yes i love in seeing you in pain..happy this is what you wanted to hear right!'
- he pulls her to himself hoping against hope to make her see his pain , his love that he has been trying hard to keep away from her all this while .
Now desperately he wants her to see his pain , her questioning their love is death to him , her eyes filled with tears of shattered dreams, broken trust is death to him.
Death he cannot endure , death he does not deserve ...death he refuses to live with even for a moment.
With no sign of change of mind, no sign of her trying to understand him finally kills his all hopes with which he had held her.
Masking his disappointment , his pain & utmost his fear in anger he hurts her as she hurt him.
Not an attempt to get even as some might think but to make her see what she did to him, how she bleed his heart.
'i cannot see tears in your eyes.....it hurts me, and so i hate you'
Having heard him she looks down drowning herself in tears .....drowning him in her pain & guilt that these tears are his doing .
He gives her one parting look with questions held in them ...
'How can she be so blind to his pain & only see his anger ... how can she ever had loved him, loves him but fail to understand him ? How can she take his words on face value & not take into account the emotions they hold in them?'
It's so easy to blame everyone
Look in the mirror you're the only one
Your finger points at those who care
Just keep it up and they won't be there
No more able to speak & no more able to assure her of his love or bear her lack of trust in their togetherness , their love , marriage .
And He walks away.
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Pretty much long i know, may be boring too.
But having read few voice their 'anti -Maan' love ...has me doing what i like doing the most..voice my respect, trust & love for him.
i so wish men could cry with equal ease......
then may be we could feel their plight as we do of women.
And then may be all could understand Maan truly.
Wounds Heal But words Not
if this holds true for what he told Geet, isn't it same for her too when she did not trust his love
blame both or pity both...why one?
and
one question ...what can be more grave or painful for Geet, her husband not getting intimate with her , keeping distance (sorry i don't see it as ignoring her) or that she might have to lose her Baby?
Answer this & you will know why Maan is hiding the truth...he acted rude , hurt her only in attempt to shield her from bigger one
Yes to me he is more God like given his character & his principles
But people who comment 'Maan is not God' Guys i plead ,
then atleast let him remain human then...& humans react when pushed too hard.
My point of view & stand for it...thank you if you really did read it all
Love
Nandita
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