Part 40. Keepsake.
<Maan's monologue>
It had been a long time since my eyes had become moist. I regretted
putting her in a spot. They carried her into the operation theater. Special
victims unit was already there and a lady officer went inside. Did she regain
consciousness? I couldn't see anything from the see though in the door.
The officer came out and talked to me.
Maan:"Officer, is everything ok?"
Officer4:"Mr MK, she is fine, there has been some heavy bruising. She
was attacked but I'm unable to confirm until I get a statement from her. We
didn't find any jewellery or purse on her. She didn't have any shoes either.
Can you tell me if she had those on her?"
I gave all the details to the best of my knowledge. To me it seemed
like she was mugged if all these were missing. Meer and Yash were rushing
through the hallways.
The attending came out and gave us the details.
Doctor:"She is alright. No concussion. A lot of bruises from the
man-handling and some blood clots on her hands too. Skin on her forehead seems
to be scrapped off, but nothing serious"
I wanted to hurt myself that very moment. How did these things
happen? I cursed myself for being the one to have caused this to her.
Doctor:"We need to do a rape-kit just to be sure. Its standard
procedure, but we need her consent. We will wait until she is awake. She should
come around shortly".
Meer went in and I and Yash waited outside. Half an hour had passed
already. I kept watching through the see through to see if she was going to wake
up.
Finally after 40 mts she was moving, trying to gain consciousness.
Meera:"Geetā¦.how are you feeling? Teek ho?"
She got up in a state of fear, confusion and shock. She was trying to
push something away from her body, as if she was covered with dirt.
I tried to go in and she screamed.
Geet:"Noā¦.aaahā¦ā¦."
She was in a shock. She was reliving it. I turned and walked out of
the room, eyes closed. I couldn't see it.
Yash tried to go in and he walked out too. She didn't want any guy in
the room apparently and she was pushing Meera away too.
She was trying to cover herself with the blanket, as if she was
naked.
Meera:"Geetā¦what is happening? It's meā¦.Meeraā¦dekhoā¦mujhe dekhoā¦main
Meeraā¦.pehchan sakthi ho naā¦dekho idhar"
After 6 mts, she let meera touch her.
The doctor walked in.
The doctor sedated her and let her sleep.
We waited without knowing how long it was going to take to get her
out of her shock. What impact this would have on her life and her psyche?
It was 3.00 AM. Meera was sleeping inside the room and I and Yash
were seated outside.
I continued to keep an eye on her. I went inside and woke up Meera
and asked her to come out.
Maan:"Meera, I think you guys should go homeā¦or atleast change and
get her some clothes as well. I will be with her until you guys are back and
she will anyways sleep through the night"
Meera:"Yeah. Main kuch aapke khane ke liye bhi intzaar karta hoon"
Maan:"That's the last thing. Just go and come back soon"
They left. I sat outside and kept checking on her constanly.
Around 4.55 AM she was moving. I went inside to see if she was in pain.
I had never seen her hurt physically and I could feel her pain
viscerally.
I tried to pull the covers and cover her. She woke up.
Geet:"ā¦.Noā¦..leave meā¦leave me aloneā¦..dont come near me.."
Maan:"Geetā¦main Maan hoonā¦Dekhoā¦mujheā¦"
I tried to hold her face and make her see me. Her eyes were wide in
shock and tears were flowing down her eyes.
She continued to push me off and was fighting me. I had to shake her
up by her arms for her to realize who I was.
Maan:"Geetā¦you are in a Hospitalā¦tum teek hoā¦dekhoā¦It's meā¦Maan"
She was calming down and looked at me with at most attention, trying
to make sure it was me.
She started sobbing badly and her grip on my arms softened. I sat
down next to her. She fell into my arms and I held her from falling. She hugged
me back. Both her hands were tied around my neck as if she was never going to
let go of me.
Maan:"Sorry Geetā¦.meri vajahe seā¦"
She didn't respond, but she continued holding me. My shirt part on my
shoulder was soaking wet from the tears flowing down her eyes.
She stayed that way for a long time crying and didn't talk a word.
I had to let go of her to make a call to the attendant for them to
come check on her.
Maan:"Geet, main doctor ko bulatha hoonā¦"
I tried to loosen her grip around my neck. Her eyes were returning to
the moment, eyes wide in shock, she was shaking badly, and her grip around me
was tightening. She was not ready to let go of me.
I didn't want to leave her in that situation and walk out. I was
trying to calm her down by rubbing her back.
I took the phone from my pocket and called the front desk.
The doctor and the officer came in and she was still not ready to let
go of me. She looked at the doctor in a state of fear too. She moved even closer and was burying herself
in my hold.
Doctor:"Alright now, Geet, look here, you have to talk to us, tell us
what happened. Else we will not be able to treat you properly"
Officer:"Maam, do I have your permission to take this as your
statement?"
She nodded and started talking in bits and pieces. The officer first
questioned her some personal information and then asked her to repeat the
incidents that followed after she left the exhibit. She told us that she was
mad at me and was trying to walk towards the XXXX and YYYY junction to get a
cab, when someone from the alleyway, pulled her by her arm and dragged her. He
had a gun and asked her to give everything she had. She seemed to have given
all valuables she had. It was not much and that he was mad about the amount
that was in her clutch.
He said that she had to make up for his day and that his attempt had
gone waste. That he dragged her on the wall and pinned her against it. He felt
her all over.
I winced.
And that he tried to kiss her. She said she didn't remember anything
after that.
Doctor:"Goodā¦you seemed to remember pretty much. We need your consent
to do a rape kit. Its juts procedure"
She was scared. She didn't understand.
Geet:"Noā¦nothingā¦no rapeā¦"
I convinced her to sign the consent form and I walked out for the
doctor to go ahead with their procedure.
The officer came out and eyed me. This was so not good.
Officer:"So you said she was 19 and a student, but she is 23? You
knew about the Suzanne's law. Are you a law student? "
Maan:"No. I just Googled. Officer, I didn't know how else to get
anyone come look for her immediately. She isā¦."
Officer:"You do understand that I have to charge you for providing
false information to the police?"
Maan:"Yes officer I doā¦I did what I had to, and I'm ready for the
consequences"
He wrote me a fine and court appearance for false information charge
and handed it to me.
Officer:"I guess love makes you do crazy things eh! "
He left saying that he will be back for the rape kit results and assured
me that it was just standard procedure. Standard procedure? If only he was able
to look inside her to see what this would mean to her. I didn't know how she was
going to get out of the trauma that the mental and physical abuse would have
caused. She needed a counselor and I was going to make sure she sees one. I
couldn't believe that she was facing such traumatic events in her life one
after the after. It seemed that she had just recovered from one and before she could
have a breather, she was fighting another.
I wondered how I could make a difference in her life.
Why didn't I leave her alone when she didn't want to talk to me? Of course
I knew she was not going to come outright with her problems and issues, but I
still had to corner her, push her to the extent that she wanted to run away. I didn't
know how to achieve that balance or where to draw a line. Can I expect her to
share everything with me? I still didn't understand why she didn't want to be
open with me, as I was. I had told her everything there was about me, including
Sameera. Did I? I was indeed holding back my feelings for her, but how do I
announce my affections? She was already barricaded by her binding with Dev. It
ached that there was still a veil between us. I was desperate to remove it, but
didn't know how.
The doctor came out and told me that she will be doing fine and that
she could be in a state of shock for couple days and that there could be some
weird behavior, but overall, she was going to be fine.
I walked back to her. She was lying down. I sat next to her, and tried to push her hair
behind from her forehead. She held my hand and turned to lie close to me. She
slept for some time.
Hmmmmā¦How did I fall asleep? Meer and Yash had come back. It was the
early hours of the morning. I panicked to see if she was ok and still there in
the room. She was. She had cuddled into my arms and was sleeping on my
shoulders from the seated position. There were no inhibitions and for a second
I questioned it. Did she know what she was doing? At the moment I didn't care.
If that is what put her to sleep, then I was glad to be of service to her.
My movements in the tiny twin size bed woke her up. She got up in haste
and held her forehead. She turned to look at me and grabbed the sheet and got
off the bed to move to the corner of the room. Was I reading her right? She was
seeing me as the attacker. She didn't understand what was going on, obviously she
was panicking. She was silently crying as if she was forbidden to speak with a
gun to her head. I realized what was happening. She was going through the
moments from last night once again.
I walked towards her and she was raising her hands to her face, as if
to block me out. I couldn't take it anymore. I walked out and called for the
attending.
She couldn't relate to reality, at least not for the next 4 days. She
re-lived those moments again and again. I and Meera took turns to watch her at
the apartment. At times she didn't let any of us touch her and at other
instances she cuddled into our arms. She was silent all the time. I was worried
for her. I would break down at times and get back to my apartment, but I couldn't
hide for long.
The rape kit was negative of course which didn't do much to her
mental state and the medicines didn't help either.
I called upon a favor to a family friend of mine. She worked with
patients who needed trauma counseling. Rachana was also daadima's friend's
granddaughter. I had met her in one of Daadima's matchmaking expeditions.
She came in for a house visit. I gave Rachana all the details needed
and she took to Geet very well.
I and Meera waited for her to get back with her findings.
Rachana:"She is fine, actually I'm not supposed to discuss about her case
with you. Maan, I hope you understand."
Maan:"Rachanaā¦thanks for coming. But please you have to understand. I
need to know if she is going to be ok and I need to know how long she is going
to go through this. She is so unpredictable now and I can't see her like that"
I was getting restless and my desperation was out.
Rachana:"Maan, I have never seen you like this? Calm down"
We all seated down.
Rachana:"Okā¦I don't believe I'm doing this, but I'm doing this only
for you and I'm not going to do this every time I come here. Ok?"
I nodded.
Rachana:"She is still in shock and that is very normal for trauma
victims, I don't want you to worry about that. Given the fact that there was
also some abuse of sexual nature, she has been clearly affected. Her break up
with her husband didn't come up much, but there seems to be a pattern with her
afflictions, all caused my men.
She mentioned Darji, her husband and now the John Doe incident. Hmmm,
there could be some trust issues with the opposite sex, but it's too soon to
tell. It is going to take some time, but
it is not impossible to recover."
She confirmed my worst fears. I walked her down to the elevator and I
went to the nearest coffee shop to get myself a coffee.
I remembered the first time I met her at the coffee shop ā¦"Aur aap
mere liye bahuth complicated hoā¦" She was like glass, so clear and outspoken,
and that is probably why she was cracking now.
Things seemed to look better. It was already nine days since the incident.
Rachana made frequent visits and helped her process her feelings and her pain. She
slowly started getting out of her room and would sit by the window seat from
time to time as opposed to just being confined to her room. Meera and I once
again had to take turns to work from home. She didn't mind that we were there
in the living room. She kept to herself and I was no way going to force her to
talk to me or spend time with me. Meera was her usual self with her. She gave
all of us hope as she coped with the trauma and she was showing a lot more
changes now. She would get the door if the door bell was to ring, or help Meera
in the kitchen, or even sit with us to watch TV, rare smile to one of Yash's
jokes was all we could get from her. She was off from work as she still couldn't
leave the apartment. I was looking forward to the day she would be her usual
self and that to me would be manna for my soul that was slowly dying of guilt.
I had left a permanent mark in her life.
It was Christmas Eve and I was caught up with work for the 2011
planning. I couldn't be at her apartment for long the past two days, but I
always kept tabs on her by calling Meera or Rachana. Rachana had given very
good feedback on Geet's improvement and that made my morning.
<Geet's monologue>
Everyone was worried about me, but I was trying hard. I didn't know
how to make them feel that I wanted to be at my personal best too. I wanted to
bounce back, but I could only go so high that moment. Maan was the worst
affected and I could see it from the time he was spending at the apartment. I
feared that he blamed himself for all that had happened.
He didn't show up at the apartment for the past two days and I
wondered what was going on. Was he running away again? I was worried if he was
punishing himself for something that he had no part to play. It was just fate.
Geet:"Meeraā¦Maan nahin aaye?"
<Meera's monologue>
It was the first time she opened her mouth to ask for anything, and
the fact that she asked for MK was of much relief to me. I recollected Rachana's
words that she could end up with trust issues, but perhaps it was too soon to
tell. I wondered if this was a casual enquiry.
Meera:"Hmmā¦He is busy with the 2011 planning"
Geet:"Is he working from home? It's already 7.00 PM"
I wondered what she would do if I told her where he was.
Meera:"He came back from office and gave me a call. He said he will
call back after his gym"
She went back and sat at the window seat. She put her feet up and
tugged herself.
After some time she came towards the kitchen and stopped by the
island.
Geet:"Mainā¦.usse jaake milke aati hoonā¦"
I was overjoyed. She finally wanted to get out of the apartment. I
knew that if there was something that could bring about this change in her, it
could only be MK. I knew it the day when MK used the word please with me. The
day Dev had broken up with herā¦His words came back to my mind "Meera pleaseā¦.don't
hold back anythingā¦I want to helpā¦", for the man I had known for over a year
had not asked anything from anyone, let alone use "please".
He was always by her side the first couple of days and at times when
she wouldn't let him close to her, he would patiently wait until she would calm
down. I could see the agony in his eyes turn into guilt and then pain from time
to time. I prayed that Geet would be the key to un break his heart.
10.00 PM Monday night after returning from first dance class.
<Geet's monologue>
"Don't think too muchā¦.dont question and fight it" the director's
words tortured my soul. I had to make a decision. There was no fighting it, trueā¦nothing
seemed the same anymore.
He was 15 feet away and only imagining that I was never to see him anymore
tormented my soul. I had never felt this pain for Dev for all the time I was
away from him.
"Maanā¦."
Why did you come into my life? Why did I have to meet you?
We were two individuals with a scared past. I didn't know how we
could be functional together or make any relationship whole. What if we end up searching
each other, for the answers of our incomplete pasts?
I didn't have any answers. I was not sure what was to be my future,
but at that moment I clearly knew what was to be my past.
7.25 PM Christmas Eve
<Geet's monologue>
He was not at the gym. I wasn't sure where he would be. I didn't have
a phone any longer. I was about to leave the gym when I saw him standing at the
far end of the gym sit-out. What was he doing out there? It was piercing cold.
I was not wearing a jacket, just a sweater and neither did he seem to be
clothed warm.
I stepped out and within a few yards, I was shaking.
As I approached him he turned to see who it was.
<Maan's monologue>
Geet? Sach mein hainā¦.ke yeh mera khwab hain? Voh ghar se bahar kaise nikhli?
Maan:"Geet?....Chalo undar chalte hainā¦Yahan peā¦"
She was about to speak and I couldn't believe my eyes that was
attempting to say something, and when she did, I knew she didn't hate me for
all that happened, she no longer kept herself from meeting my eyes.
Geet:"Maanā¦ā¦"
All it took for me to realize how very much she was a part of my life,
was for her to say my name. I had missed her so much.
I stood there wanting to hear more from her, but instead she handed
me a thick yellow envelope.
It was addressed to her. I was puzzled. I opened it and was flabbergasted.
I panicked how I was going to handle her. I was not ready for this.
I went through each one of the bundles. None of them were original. There
were all copies of the same original.
I turned through one of the copies and found her signature there. It
was signed Geet Khurana under the text that said "Geet Khurana Sign here:"
I turned to look at her, she was still stable. I checked the envelope
to see the delivery date and it was not delivered today but much earlier.
She had signed her divorce papers and had sent it back to Dev. What
she had just shown me was the notarized copies of the original.
Maan:"Geet, yeh sab kya hainā¦pehle kyon nahin dikhaiye mujhe?"
She didn't answer. She continued looking at the Christmas decorations
that adorned downtown Manhattan.
Maan:"Aur tumne kisi ko iske baare main boli bhi nahinā¦"
Geet:"Ab isme bolne ke liye kuch baaki nahin hai Maanā¦I sent it on
Tuesday."
I realized that the papers were the one that affected her all through
the week.
Maan:"Lekin Geetā¦.Why didn't you
tell me before?"
I was surprised I was even talking after all this.
Geet:"I couldn'tā¦I thought I will be able to handle it"
Tears were welling up in her eyes.
Maan:"Geetā¦pleaseā¦ab tum bhi mujhe itna ghair mat banaoā¦"
She turned and nodded her head in disapproval.
Geet:"Aap kabhi mere liye ghair ho hi nahi sakteā¦samje aap"
She was angry at my statement. I cupped her cheeks with my hand and
wiped her tears off.
She held onto my right hand.
Geet:"Aur pleaseā¦aap ko guilty feel kar ne ke liye koi zaroorat nahinā¦.jo
bhi huaā¦usme aapke koi galti nahin thaā¦galti sirf meri hainā¦maine pagalon ki
tarak vus samay bahar chali gayi thiā¦mujme sakthi nahin tha us din, aapko yeh
baat batane ke liye"
<Geet's monologue>
I was fighting another fight as well that day, but for now, he has to
do with the partial truth. If this could help him feel a little better, then I
was ready to break it to him.
Maan:"Geetā¦mujhe maaf kar doā¦maine tumhe bahuth force kar raha thaā¦"
<Maan's monologue>
She closed my mouth with her handā¦
Geet:"Pleaseā¦Maanā¦agar aap mere liye kuch karna chahte hainā¦to please
sorry feel karna band kijiyeā¦"
She was crying badly. I wasn't sure what was affecting her now and
what I was supposed to say. I couldn't read it in her eyes. I felt for her. I
cursed myself for not being able to offer her any comfort.
She was shaking badly from the cold.
Maan:"Geetā¦.tum ro kyon rahi ho?"
She didn't answer. She came close and simply hugged me. Her head was
resting just below my shoulder. Her hand was around my waist and the other was
resting on my chest.
I didn't know what I was to do. This was the first time she had closed
the distance between us consciously. I couldn't think of anything else except
the fact that I wanted to comfort her. My hands though clutching the envelope
rose to close the hug.
My mind threw a hundred questions at that instant. The envelope
slipped from my hand and fell down. I didn't care to pick it up.
At that moment, I wasn't sure if I was healing her or if she was
healing me, but I was not ready to let go of her. I didn't care about the time
that had passed by or the one that was yet to arrive, to me I was frozen that
second. I tightened my hug around her.
We stayed that way until she realized what she had done. She let go
of me. She turned away unable to face me.
I didn't want to speak about the last couple of minutes. I wanted to
wait for her to collect herself, but she was shaking from the cold air that was
blowing by.
I went close to her and held her close once again.
Geet:"Maanā¦."
Maan:"Chupā¦bilkul chupā¦"
I was not ready to let anything taint the moments we shared.
It was Christmas eve and all of Manhattan
was dusted with a coat of snow. It was the most unexpected evening of the year
and with her by my side, my bleak future was picking up the same beauty that
was all around me. This year she was my Christmas keepsake.
Thank you all for the wonderful long comments. I love it when I get the long ones, so keep writing.
I hope you like it. I was very tempted to tell everyone that it was not a twist and that something that was part of the original story line, but sorry I couldn't. I guess I was pure evil that way.
Please tell me how you liked this one, as this is another two posts in one.
I wont be posting tomorrow night. I'm not feeling well and I have been continuously going to bed around 3.00 or 4.00 AM and guess its taken a toll on me. Hopefully you will all be kind enough to come back on Thursday. I will PM as always.
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