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The more we see of any show, the more complexities there are. And sometimes, not even complexities...just things that keep us thinking....food for thought.
Men and women...honesty....and relationships is the topic of this post. I must warn you--I tried to reword this post because it does have elements of mental rambling going on...😆but you are probably used to that from me by now!
Let's put Naku, Dutta, other characters on the side a bit and discuss relationships. While this topic is inspired by the Naku-Dutta relationship, you can also see it in Kala-Kishore's and other relationships as well.
Honesty is an ideal we hold on to....we like people who are honest with us, and it makes us feel good when we can be honest with others. In relationships between men and women, this is particularly true. There is a need we all have to be accepted and appreciated for who we are as people--that we're okay just the way we are. It's at this point when our relationships soar and grow.
There are times when we have to put on other "faces", and this is particularly true for women and Indian women in particular and perhaps be things that we are not to keep others happy...but I've always experienced that it catches up with you. And that is why I was always bewildered by Naku's dilemma. (And also why many of you were bewildered with why I had such strong feelings regarding honesty.) I would ask: why, on some basic level, could she continue day-in-day-out with the pretense when she knows that is NOT her? That, despite the trueness of her love for Dutta, there was a level of mistruth (like that word?😆) to her life, to her relationships, to her relationship with Dutta. I'm not just talking about the soot, it goes far beyond that right now. I often wondered where was her self-respect or integrity after seeing day-in-day-out how Dutta was trying to be open to her, yet she could and would not to him? <Knowing myself, the guilt would have literally either forced me to tell the truth and accept whatever the consequences were OR I would have left his house>
Honesty starts, like the quote at the bottom says, with oneself. I am not perfect, I can be mean and, on special occasions😆, downright stupid😆...just as much as I can be fun, loving, caring...but I feel totally free when I am honest about myself in my relationships, when I speak up and say what I feel, without hopefully putting the other person down. It actually kills me on the inside when I have to put on a game face and keep things inside to myself in my personal relationships. I sometimes feel like I am rejecting myself by not being honest. you know what I mean? Sounds a bit weird, I know.
But I also understand in a personal relationship between a man and a woman--be it dating, marriage, whatever--sometimes honesty cannot always work. It has to be finessed, massaged...reworded, explained differently--but it at some point has to always be there. Otherwise, you're being untrue to yourself. And that moment does come for most people, particularly women, when they realize they are okay with themselves and that they want others to love them just for who they are and their honesty. And if the other--e.g. boyfriend or husband--can't, then it sinks the heart a bit, not to mention the self-respect.
What do you think? We've touched on this topic in the past in some of our posts and responses, but here and today, I'm curious where your head and heart is on this topic.
Looking forward to reading your responses!
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