Story-l1a2o2c3 10 21 by m

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m_kal2011

@m_kal2011

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

THIS IS A "MEMBERS ONLY" POST
The Author of this post have chosen to restrict the content of this Post to members only.

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visrom

@visrom

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 15 years ago

Have not read it yet....but title is awesome, confusing, attention grabbing and cyptic.

Edit : Just finished it....good one considering that you are a newbie here and this is your first attempt. 👏

Just take some care about the spellings...the way Hindi words are written in English may be a bit tough. And yeah...it is evident that you are not 100% comfortable with Hindi...never mind anyway. It was a good story.

Edited by visrom - 15 years ago

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Suhaani/Drilabh (CID/MJHT)

@Drilabh_Suhaani

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 15 years ago

Its fantastically written!! very gud job!! 👏 keep it up!! aur abhi sir rocked here!! Lolz... d story was short but action and fast paced... awaiting ure next story! 😃

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Princess13.

@Princess13.

Voyager

Posted: 15 years ago

Originally posted by: drilabh
Its fantastically written!! very gud job!! 👏 keep it up!! aur abhi sir rocked here!! Lolz... d story was short but action and fast paced... awaiting ure next story! 😃

i completely agree with drilabh

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m_kal2011

@m_kal2011

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

Thank you all for your feedback. Though I want some detailed ones. Do you like the codes? Please let me know.

@visrom Yes I agree. I am not at all comfortable with Hindi. But still I tried.Thanks again for your feedback.

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sunny

@sunnyp1414

Dazzler

Posted: 15 years ago

Since its your first attempt I will say it was very good attempt. Never mind you will soon learn how to write in hindi. Passion can make a person very good learner.

About your story. seriosuly code at first sight looked like chemistry formula only but I know no such elements exist like l, a, o, c. It was fast paced liked it. But just a grip over story was missing somewhere I felt. nevertheless congrats to you for your first story and happy we have another writer here. Would love to read a lot more stories from you.
A dose of story everyday on IF wow.

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m_kal2011

@m_kal2011

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

To all members,
Please please give your feedback.
I know there are grammatical mistakes and may be it does not meet the standard of the stories posted by you, but still give your comments.
I am waiting for your response.

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Bhinder

@bhinder.thind

Dazzler

Posted: 15 years ago

First of all Congrats to join Story Writer Club of IF 😆 Just kidding... Now About Story, At first sight, It looked attention seeking and very interesting ,...Now about content, I found dialogue Problem which is pretty obvious if you are not good in language you are writing... Other thing, Was missing grip of characters and story.. I felt a bit.. Mystery was just superb..it stole the show..But I could not get idea how KIND can be DAYA? Still confused about this.... Love the way you brought Trio in this story .. Others got less to speak but was effective.. Ending was happy .. 😛
@Never be disappointed because of your language.. I happens..even my hindi is not so good.. But just keep on trying and one day you will be on track.. Practice language as much as you can..Never feel ashamed that other people speak and write better than you.. God Bless ya!!! and yeah hats off to your dedication and passion you have showed ..instead of being week in Hindi,you still tried and write a beautiful story.. 👏 👏 👏

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Bhavanab

@Bhavanab

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 15 years ago

Hey m_kall sorry for the late response !! Anyways coming to the story,its indeed a good work keeping in mind this your first one,language problem hotha hai,you'll improve in it as you keep writing !! Mystery element was superb,I loved it just one small suggestion the story missed a kind of X-FACTOR(but that's not so important) !! you know that grip of characters and story,as you'll keep writing you'll surely get better with that,I know you're great at maintaining suspense and your story can be made into a lovely episode with proper direction,all the best with your future creations will be waiting to read more !!! and yeah as Bhinder said welcome to our story writers gang !!!