Weekend Treat from C :-)

commentator thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 15 years ago
#1
OK folks,
It's hopeless to analyze, but it's still fun to come up with FFs. After all, whatever mess the creatives make, as responsible viewers we can't let Shravani win, or her challenge go unanswered, right? So here's one possible response to it......
😊
C
______________________________________________________________________
He stood watching the ceremony by the fire, feeling its faint warmth on his face and smiling down encouragingly at Varsha, who really needed no encouragement as she sat composed and resplendent and bridal next to Satish. Across from him, Archana was passing around rice and rose-petals to those gathered around the altar on the dais. He took his fistful absent-mindedly as the basket reached him, remembering that more intense heat that had played on his face and hers as they sat on their own painted ceremonial wedding paats, that day that seemed like he had lived a lifetime since. What if he'd had a normal wedding day, what if his mother hadn't lied about him... well, then things wouldn't ever have come to this pass anyway, because nobody in Archana's family would have countenanced a mechanic son-in-law in the first place. That would certainly have been better for her; they'd probably have got her married to someone educated with a normal family and a decent income and she'd have had a child as beautiful as she by now and been happy enough dashing between kitchen and crib; she was easily pleased, and as for that husband, he couldn't imagine any man not being ecstatic with a woman like her. His wife... soon perhaps to belong to another man, who would have the right to love and touch her and make her with child. He shut his eyes at the thought, and his heart felt as if it would freeze with sadness. And he himself, would he have preferred never having been married to her? He thought about the love she had brought into his life'. No. Was any price too high for having known such devotion as hers? He mused over all those theatrical lines parting lovers spouted in the films: living a lifetime in a night, capturing a moment forever, worshipping a memory till one's last breath....would all that work for him? It sounded hokey and horribly difficult.

He bobbed a namaskar to some aunt clambering onto the stage and thought back to the last five days of festivities at his inlaws' home. He'd determined to savour that time as best as he could though the bitter-sweetness of her constant company, her laughter, and the signs of marriage she wore for the benefit of nosy relatives on various sides assailed him oftener than he'd imagined it would. Sometimes Vinod and he had gone out on errands very early in the morning and once he had reached in time to catch a glimpse of her as he had never seen her before, in her red batik caftan, her hair knotted casually behind her. That knot of hair would slide silkily open once in a while and when for a few brief seconds she had raised her arms to put it back in place the wide sleeves of her caftan had slipped back, revealing to his hypnotized eyes the pale soft perfection of her inner arm and the darkness further inside where her underarm began. He started guiltily at the thought of how he had gazed at this one exposed part of her he wasn't familiar with, wondering if the guests around him could sense his thoughts, so intensely could he feel within himself again the urge to grasp her arm, suddenly even more alluring than ever before, and draw her close to his hopelessly hungry body.

Satish's mother was speaking next to him... he made an effort to focus on what she was saying. Something about another person being needed to fetch a suitcase with some of Varsha's things from their place just a few blocks away. In the usual wedding chaos when her family had sent all Varsha's things ahead to her new home they had apparently included by mistake many pieces of jewellery she needed for the reception later that day, and Satish's mother in turn had forgotten to bring them to the hall with her. Yes Kaki, no problem, I'll go. Outside the air-conditioned hall in the still and sultry evening he saw Archana in the back of the car Kaki had pointed towards, looking worriedly at a fat bunch of keys. His heart thudded inside him as he walked up to the car and sat wordlessly in the front seat next to the chauffeur. He knew she was startled into silence so he explained that Kaki (not trusting the man from the car hire agency to drive her there alone with the flat full of valuables from the bank locker) had asked him to accompany her. The car quickly pulled up in front of a swanky looking building. They rode the lift up to a high floor and Archana tried several keys on the main lock before one finally let them into a large and graciously appointed living room. So this was Varsha's home; if it hadn't been for Ajit, this was where Archana would have been the new young mistress. He followed her into one of the rooms and she went directly to a cupboard. She began to pick out things from little red boxes and place them in a small briefcase, pretending, it seemed to him, that she hadn't seen what his own eyes had immediately fastened on: the big double bed with its satiny bedspread in the centre of the room, hung all around with mogra strings in readiness for the night that lay ahead for Satish and Varsha. The scent of the flowers filled his nostrils and as she turned around, slim and gracefully curved in her vivid green-gold silk sari, his mind went back to that early morning moment and to its sudden and urgent desire.

He walked across to her slowly, not quite in a daze, yet not fighting the rapturous new craving that consumed his senses. Her eyes read his for long seconds and, understanding what they saw there, first widened in shock and then skittered away from his gaze as he took the briefcase out of her hand and placed it on the floor next to her. Would she resist, he thought, or refuse? Or would she, like him, want to seize this mad and pulsing magic that they might never know again? She bent hurriedly to pick up the suitcase and as she straightened to say something suitably sharp and distancing, her anchal, its silken tassels caught in the briefcase handle, fell away from her. He stood there rooted to the spot, knowing he should look away but in spite of months of impeccable correctness and rigid self control completely incapable of doing so, his eyes moving desperately over her in the brief time before she gathered the silk to her body again. She twisted around and away from him as she did so, but not before he had seen, in response to what he knew was the naked desire on his face, an answering need in the glance she quickly lowered. Now there was no letting her go, not after that, not with his whole body transmitting frantic messages to itself, messages that zig-zagged into him like lightning across a stormy night sky. Now there was no turning back, no looking ahead, no hoping for a what-if miracle. Now there was only this scented evening, and in its ragged and tempestuous grasp the two of them alone.

Edited by commentator - 15 years ago

Created

Last reply

Replies

27

Views

3.7k

Users

16

Likes

61

Frequent Posters

unknown18 thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 15 years ago
#2
Beautifully written!! šŸ‘ All the feelings were so natural, unlike the characters in the show.nd Archana will always win as she rules his heart nd soul. No one will take her place in his heart nd he wont let someone take her place.

Thanks!
Edited by unknown18 - 15 years ago
carpe-diem thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail
Posted: 15 years ago
#3
C great jobšŸ‘. i felt like everything happened before my eyes...😃
toothbrush13 thumbnail
16th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 15 years ago
#4
OMG that was amazing! I don't know what else to say, I've read it through five times, and its beautiful.
I loved every word of it, great job! šŸ‘
Tanyaz thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Trailblazer Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 15 years ago
#5
Wow C. Thanks for the weekend treat . If only Manav was this passionate in the show . In the show he is cold and so unattatched to everything around him ,sometimes even Archana .
Here he is so much more normal .
You have described the scenes very well and it is very romantic and passionate ....
Well done .
Edited by Tanyaz - 15 years ago
mansi96 thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 15 years ago
#6
Commentator....that was simply brilliant! šŸ‘ More please!


If only your words could be brought to life on our tv screens....how awesome would that be?!!
smrth thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 15 years ago
#7

"….and she'd have had a child as beautiful as she by now and been happy enough dashing between kitchen and crib;…"

And we would have heard the word 'Bahini' uttered, in reference to her, by some one other then Vandu and would grimace at that fable or fib.

"…and as for that husband, he couldn't imagine any man not being ecstatic with a woman like her…"

And we couldn't imagine any man other then Manav, in reference to her, as a husband who would compliment, in all counts, a woman like her.

"…, revealing to his hypnotized eyes the pale soft perfection of her inner arm…"

And sweetly reminding him that universally praised, divinely curved, mango shaped shapeliness of elbow at the beginning of a milky white forearm.

commentator thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 15 years ago
#8
Thank you, people.
@ Kool: Waiting to read an FF from you. What will your writing look like when you have cast aside both vitriol and levity?
@ Samarth: At least Carpe, at whose frequent request this was written, comments on all sorts of other issues. You, you totally shameless creature, will on the other hand only shake off your slumber and comment when there's any what-not on offer !?
@ Tanya: Manav's not cold, just severely repressed, i.e. the kind of man most likely to be swept away by passion that comes suddenly and without warning.
@ Mansi: I'm quite game to write "more" if the mods promise not to exile me from the forum ! Otherwise, "more" will have to be coy again, and commence approximately a crucial half hour after where we just left off.
Finally, @ TB: things are moving on the work front and I will have news for you soon!
šŸ˜†
C
Edited by commentator - 15 years ago
smrth thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 15 years ago
#9

Originally posted by: commentator

@ Samarth: At least Carpe, at whose frequent request this was written, comments on all sorts of other issues. You, you totally shameless creature, will on the other hand only shake off your slumber and comment when there's any what-not on offer !?

What to do? Much as I resolve to curb my naive writing, on one hand 'vitriol' and on other hand 'Basundi' keep on spurring me in to tactless slips and blabbering. But you will have to keep on tolerating me as I am valiantly exercising my open forum privileges and protection of a distance equivalent to the diameter of this blue globe. This from a timid, shy not shameless, clueless person.😊

P.S. what is 'what-not'?

Edited by samarth_050 - 15 years ago
--Hope-- thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 15 years ago
#10
Hi Commentator:

Thanks for the the wonderful treat. really enjoyed it. you expressed so eloquently what I was thinking and hoping for when i first heard about the promo of the upcoming track.

However, as hopeful as I am, my practical side knows that this scenario is purely wishful thinking in relation to these charachters. Archana is too self-righteous and Manv is not bold enough and definitely not this far along emotionally to have this happen over the next week. I think that all ArMan fans will see their hopes diminshed over the next few days when the leads and creatives fail to deliver AGAIN.

Anways, thanks for the lovely FF. Made my weekend.

Related Topics

Top

Stay Connected with IndiaForums!

Be the first to know about the latest news, updates, and exclusive content.

Add to Home Screen!

Install this web app on your iPhone for the best experience. It's easy, just tap and then "Add to Home Screen".