AY Mix: Aaoge Jab Tum Sajna (Ashi's pov) - Page 2

I'd thought watching this mix again and again wud make me numb enuf and much more coherent to write something abt it ... but nopes, I was sooo wrong abt it ... it still makes me cry jus that much no matter how many times I watch it !!

but well..I kno I hav to write something abt it ..I dunno if m gonna do a good job or no...but I kno u will understand me ... 🤗

"I kind of missed yuvi a lot.." she didnt even realise she is already in love wit him..coz she doesnt even KNOW what it is..and thats what true love is all abt..u dont even know when how or why..but it jus happens...it jus happens and u hav NO control over ur emotions..ur heart..ur feelings...u jus give in, without really knowing that u hav ... and the haunting alaap..its soo soo ironical na..that amidst her happiness...her joy..something is amiss.. something is coming to her ... u can actually SEE her feelings change over the time during the day..initially, she is jus missing him...but as the day proceeds...she feels more..."main use surprise dena chahti hoon.." and she discovers what blushing is .. when her friends tease her over him ... its like the most ultimate and pure joy for her...and the BEST part is..she doesnt even KNOW it yet ... she doesnt even know she is in love yet ...

and then ... then she sees him wit yamini...to say that her entire world has come down crashing, wud b jus to put in mildly what she is feeling...coz that feeling, that pain..that hurt ... is jus UNDESCRIBABLE in words ... and noone...jus NO ONE except her can understand/feel it ... how much ever everyone else TRY to understand it ... she is the ONLY one who feels it ....the very first feelings that she experiences on seeing this .. her vocabulory doesnt hav words for what she is feeling..coz hurt, pain, grief are probably jus mild terms ... and THEN..she thinks abt it .. and then she realises that she wants to b happy for him..she soo soo WANTS to .. trying to b selfless...but she knows, deep deep down what she ACTUALLY wants .. she wants to b WITH him ...

"aaoge jab tum..o saajna..angana..phool khilenege.."
because him coming back to her is the ULTIMATE joy in her garden of feelings..and nothing can b more special than those flowers of joy that she wil feel when HE enters her life ... and becomes HERS ..

"barsega saawan..jhoom ke.."
and no..those flowers wont bloom because its their season to bloom..they will bloom ESPECIALLY because it wil rain..it wil rain during that time..because it was MEANT to rain..because him coming back to her will make everything possible and that wil make those flowers bloom..

"do dil..aise milenge.."
is there any two ways abt it?

but she wants to overcome those feelings because she knows .. his happiness lies wit HER ... not wit her .. and she tries, tries to b happy for him ... wil she succeed? well, upto a certain extent ... but never never completely ... because she still HOPES .. she still DREAMS ..

is she selfless? yes, she is ... because at tht moment, all she cares abt is his happiness ... but is she really selfless? no, she isnt..because even now she hopes .. she weaves dreams abt being WITH him .. her heart calls him..craves for him ..

but ultimately..ofcourse she is tagged as SELFLESS...because she jus doesnt force him to love her .. she waits until HE wants to cum back to her ...

and she continues on her painful journey ... of seeing the smile on his face .. and smiling herself .. continuing to hope and weave endless dreams .. dreams and visions ..visions, if HIM there right then at tht moment .. visions of him talking to her ... smiling wit her .. making her smile, of them creating memories ...but memories of those beautiful times ... that were THEIRS only .. and dreams, of those times...that CAN b theirs ... will they ever exist ?? she doesnt know ... but that doesnt stop her from dreaming ...coz "aaoge jab tum..o saajna..angana phool khilenge"

"naina tere kajrare hain..nainon se hum dil haare hain..anjaane hi tere nainon ne vaade kiya kahin saare hain.."
unknowingly, his eyes hav already made her endless promises .. of being wit her..of staying wit her .. and THEY didnt kno it themselves ... how can she blame him? she jus cannot .. when she herself doesnt realise it yet .. how can she blame HIM for not realising it ??

"saason khile..madham chale..tose kahe..barsega swaaawan.."
soo many times...she wants to go and tell him ... look into his eyes..convince him and tell him ... that when he comes back to her .. everything will b possible .. and he should come back to her ...

but then she thinks..how CAN she b soo selfish? he is leading his life.. isnt he happy? she remembers him wit HER ... and she realises that seeing the smile on his face she felt soo happy .. and hence she should b happy too ... thats when she realises what true love is all about ... fnally, seeing him happy .. brings a joy on her face ... finally, she can smile ... without having a pain in her heart ... she smiles from within..and she is at peace ... after all this while, she realises ... what she finally wants ... above everything else ... above all, even much more than being WITH him .. his happiness..is the MOST imp .. and she smiles, for the first time..her first REAL smile ...what is really happening to her? she is confused .. is this what true love is all about?

and who is gonna convince her heart? it still beats for him..weaving endless dreams ... he is with HER, but SHE still dreams for him ... about him .. of him telling her that he loves her too .. of being wit him alone .. and that brings a joy on her face .. because just dreaming abt him at that time...gives her the strength .. the courage to accept this pain and move on ...uptil now, she had wanted to..tried to GET OVER him ... but now she realised that she cannot..hence the time she accepts it and ACCEPTS it completely is the time she derives strength from it ... her love for him becomes her strength...and that itself makes her pain vanish ... coz she jus feels joy ... because there is no feeling soo pure in this world than loving someone .. and thats when she starts loving him unconditionally ..

"chanda ko taaku raaton mein..hain zindagi tere haathon mein.."
HER moon .. her centre of universe, is HIM .. and when she looks at him, she realises that her whole life suddenly, as though revolves around him ... what she is..what she wil b.. is because of HIM ..

"palkon pe jhilmil taare hain..aana bhari barsaaton mein.."
there are millions of wishes...hopes in her eyes ... but now, they arent deoendent on WHETHER he comes to her or not.. but if he does come, she requests him to cum back during that time..when everything is BEAUTIFUL for him ... not during that time when it becomes beautiful for her ...

"sapnon ka jahaan...hoga khila khila..barsega swaawan..jhoom jhoom ke"
because when he comes back to her...her dreams wil become true ... and yet again, impossible will cease to exist ...


and then she comes to kno that yamini is not the right girl for him...noo, she soo sooo isnt .. and the first thought that coems to her mind is..why HIM? why him..why cant HE ever b happy? he deserves his happiness... doesnt he ?? why did God make it soo difficult for him? she wants to go to him and absorb all that pain from him..because he is not meant to go thru all that pain..why shud he?? didnt he love yamini unconditionally ... and she develops feelings of rage towards that girl ... but above all, she feels for him...for his pain .. because she understands, she knows how it is like when u love someone and that someone doesnt love u...and she doesnt want HIM to go thru all that..because she CANNOT see him in pain ...

she can see him with another girl and happy...but it kills her to see him in pain ...she tries to b there for him...becoming his friend..jus like he may want her to be ...

but who is going to console her heart? she is as good as losing her strength again .. HIS smile brought her strength to deal wit her pain ... but his pain? and who wil give HIM stength? she is used to those feelings..she has gotten over her pain..but HE? how can HE get over it?

P.S. nitzie..I kno I hav left out loads of things..but I honestly cudnt do more than this ... love u loads and loads nitzie .. 🤗 I m really sorry, but I absolutely CANNOT feel/watch yuvi's POV .. m sure its gonna b as brilliant as this one .. or if possible, even better .. but I soo soo CANT .. her pain is etched inside me .. because it is a part of me too .. and I cant share my pain wit anything else .. I m soo sorry nitzie .. plz forgive me for that 🤗

OMGGGG Naps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh man..ipsi pipsiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..abhi before logging on i was just thinking abt u and ended up coming here to check sab ka comments and saw ur name flash in d members who liked nappy's post..awww...u too so hyperly wanted this mix by her then naaa??...miccccccching u...and happy to see uuuuu

and pavsie...that moment where ahsi is abt to drink water and suddenly remembers this dance..it wasn't her recalling this moment..naps showed it as HER DREAM..she was sitting there in d middle of d class and dreaming abt having dis dance wid him..infact all d moments where naps has u know kind of used very bright coloring all of dem r her dreams...umm as in they never happend but she is imagining them...the moments that happened were i guess shown by naps in black and white frames..thats why i adore those dream moments all d more...they haven't happened in dis mix...but stilll she is dreaming abt it meaning she is still holding on to her dreams her hopes despite all d pain and hurt..this is how i saw it..try seeing it from this pov u wld loooooove d mix ALL THE MORE

OH MAN..just realized..tumse hi and aaoge BOTH r form JAB WE METTTTTTTTTT

OMG...THIS SO SO SO SOOOO IS ASHI'S TUMSE HI NAPS...i mean throughout the mix u can feel so sooooooooooo freaking feel..."na hai yeh pana na khona hi hai tera na hona jane kyun hona hi haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii"

omg...ad u know naps i cameto this mix to be salvamed...and it did salva meeeeeeeeeeeeeee...it did it so so did...OMG..wld tlak abt wat it did in a bit..letme abhi ke liye do omg

and pavs I KNOW I SO KNOW dis mix ka back ground score is just OUT OF THE WORLD i mean dis song ka...its just so sooooooo soo freaking soulful

and u know naps i was hesitating to say this wen i first saw it coz i felt i wld betray tumse hi if i say i got the same same feleing wne i saw dis one which i had gottne wne i had sene tumse hi first or wne i see tumse hi everytime..but now i can say it..coz this is how it was supposed to beeeeeeeeeee,,it had to give me the same feleing yaar it just had to coz yeh aur kuch nahi but Ashi ka tumse hi haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...u know what i mean?..i mena i usually run to tumse hi to be salvamed...but today i ran here..OMG..its so so so is ashi's tumse hiiiiiiiiiiiii

OMGGGGGGGGG Smritssss NO WAYYYY!!! What are you saying!! That Ashi with a water bottle part is a dream?? OMGGGG Yaar I'm such a duh-uh how did I not get that?? That makes it SOOO much more amazing!! 😍

omggggggggggggggggg

pavs ur last posssssssssst😍

omggggggggg😍

AWESOME vm Naps..👏 👏...Lovely !! You managed to depict Ashi's heartbreak REALLY well yaar..🤗and thanks for making it for us all who were pestering you for this mix...haha 🤗

u know naps i hav been seeing this mix daily...DAILY..DAILY....and every single time..i cry watching it without any ANY reason....its like just the veyr first second into the mix and apne aap apne aaaaaaaap ansu nikalna shuru..god naps...perhaps i know d reason why this is happening...its making me discover so much not just abt AY..but abt LOVE ..yeaaaah its bringing me more close to the word LOVE and that is what is making me cry... i realized something....why just why AY r like my LIFE...what exactly is it that fills me wid hope...why whenever i am in need of some insane kind of hope i run to them....to ur mixes...finally i know what is it that happens..why just writing a post on them fills me wid mad wala passion zeal....god...because naps because everytime i write on them run to them watch ur mixes something or the other strengthens my belief in LOVE...and that THAT is the source of insane hopeeeeeeeee...OMGGGGGGG...OMGGGGGG...i dunnooooooooo...some moments when u just fele omg love is so PURE...and u end up crying without any reason those r the moments when u r closest closest to bhaggu coz in those moments u acknowledge that love is so pure u felllllllllllllll love and just that feleing makes it turn itno a miracle it fills u wid passion wid hope to go out there DO SOMETHING FOLLOW YOUR HEART FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS...till today or perhaps yesterday i used to fele we follow our hearts and thats how we fulfill our dreams we find love...but NO...thats NOT the case...its the reverse actually..first we FEEL LOVE..and that love ka power makes u follow your heart makes u achieve your dreams makes u hope damn itttttttttttt...ashi yuvi and every every ahsi moment all through these years have just been doing this for me..all they did was bring me close and close and close to LOVE...and in each one of these moments when i felt love when they strengthened my belief in love when they just made love grow within me for anything and everything in all those moments they brought me close to bhaggu..to myself..to my dreams...they strengthened my soulllllllllllllllll...its this belief in love staunch staunch belief in love which makes us all fight for our dreamssssssssssssssss...naps i can't tell u what u have given me i just CANT...i mean every time..every time every time i cry feeling love i cry coz u know am witnessing love so so damned selfless so pure that just witnessing it fills me wid hopeeeeee...those r d moments naps...those r d moments when i realize omg my life is so beautifullllllllllll...and it is these moments these special moments when i kind of re discover love ka powerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr it is THESE moments which makes my life beautifullllllll..no money no god damned job no nothing can ever ever give me what just these moments ka feeling gives me its like just feeling these moments i feel as if as if my life no matter where it goes no matter what happens no matter how shaky or uncertian the future looks but my life wld always have a reason a meaningggggggggg...these moments justify my rest of the days..they justify ME MY EVERY FIBER...m talking like a loony i KNOW..but i can't help it..i finally realized love IS the driving force behind EVERY EVERY EVERY THING..EVERY HOPE..EVERY BATTLE...EVERY WIN...

and i dunnooooooooooo..how u do it but u do this in ur EVERY mix...u just make AY so so sooooooooooooo I DUNNO WHAT..I SERIOUSLY HAVE NO WORDS

u know th moment when she looks at water and just like a flowing river ek dream takes lifeeeee within her....gosh..that dream..both in the real moment and in ur mix....i just realized..ki that dream was NOT about her being happy wid him..it was NOT NEVER about HER happiness...it was about HIM being HAPPY WITH HERRRRRRR..gosh...even in the real version..she dreams abt playing the guitar wid him in the middle of no where...why?...yeah she loves music no doubt abt it..but if u askme out of eveyrone in Remix if there is anyone jiske liye music IS SOUL SOUL SOUL then its Yuviiiiiiiiii ashike liye music bohut special hai but what makes it eternal is sharing it wid HIM its basicallly HIS DREAM and she has just fallen in love wid that dream she derives strength by following his dreams along wid him feeling them living them...its like music is yuvi's personal legend....and ashi derives strength by following it..u know wat i mean?...i mena its more imp to him than to her its like 'love singing ya..love singing wid YUVI" wala case for her....and she dreamed abt playing the guitar wid him...why?...coz she knew he is THE HAPPIEST WHEN HE IS JUST DOING NOTHING BUT PLAYING HIS GUITAR...GOD..EVEN IN HER DREAMS ALL SHE DREAMED OF WAS HIM BEING CLOSE TO HIS DREAM..HIM BEING HAPPY..the the common room dance moment u chose for this dream in the mix..god just look at that momennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnt...god...just look at HIS happinesss...it was all about him finding heaven..and she was just watching him feeling him being happy...i dunnnooooooooo..she just dreamed he was HAPPY and she was just a lil part of that happiness...its like she didn't want to be his THE reason of happiness instead she just wanted to bring some SOME happiness to him..even if it were a small split of a second ka moment..GOD..THIS IS JUST SO.....I DUNNO

Everytime I try to come here and reply to all of you for your comments...but everytime I just lack words!! Mads, Pals, Loons, and Ips...I just love you all!!🤗🤗🤗 You all just make my mixes alive...and trust me...I have tears in my eyes everytime I read each one of you ka comment!! I am still speechless...and I don't know what to say!!

It is always through mixes that I feel I express my feelings for AY the best...and by wording my feelings...you guys just make me fall in love with AY all over again!!🤗🤗🤗

I would reply to each one of you ka posts...as soon as I get coherent enough which I don't know when that will happen...coz everytime I read u guys ka post, I end up crying!

Love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...Just LOVE YOU ALLLLLLLLL🤗