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The interviewer rushed amidst the crowd along with her cameraman. "Move, move !"he shouted, as she moved ahead further in Manav Deshmukh's garage. The people moved aside, seeing the press sign.
There he was, under a car, repairing something.
Beside him, a woman was sitting, fanning him. She kept giving him love-sick looks.
A second woman was cleaning his tools sitting on a counter.
A third woman was selling tickets for Insaaniyat baba's blessings.
The interviewer was surprised. Everyone said, "Don't worry, that is the way he meditates, he has spent so much time with negative and irritating people that only the sight of a vehicle all around him gives him peace. Right now, he is in his heaven. Till then you can interview these women."
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The interviewer went to the woman at the counter first. "Mataji, please tell me something about your son."
Savita was pleased, "Yeah yeah sure... I'm on TV... how's my sari... anyway... I was always so proud of him, such a good son, since childhood, he sacrificed everything for his family, I thought 'What a son..' at that time I thought he does it since he loves us.. then he did a lot for that girl Archu, by first saying 'insaniyat ke nate' this pleased her parents and created a good impression, later I came to know he loved her, then he did a lot for Shravani...saying she is my responsibility insaaniyat ke naate, but that is where the insaniyat bug caught him very badly. Now, my son does everything for insaniyat, he helps people- insaniyat ke naate, he hates people- insaaniyat ke naate, he makes people hate him- insaniyat ke naate. I guess I underestimated my son's benovelence. He has so much insaaniyat in him."
"But he still works..??"
"Of course... see we live in a chawl... there is no other working member in the family... my son clearly told me one day.. 'I hate you and you can consider me dead, but I can't throw you out of this house insaaniyat ke naate, so I'll be your money making machine till death, and not a son, and you can have all the money you want.' See, he is so good. After that he came in this profession and i get a lot of money selling tickets for personalised sessions with insaaniyat baba." Savita gleefully added.
"Yes, but how did he take this sudden decision?"
"Nothing... we all don't know what happened one day... he said he has come to know the most important truth of the world... insaaniyat ka truth... and he will bring it in front of everyone like Sai Baba. Go and ask that lady in white any more questions... she is our PR executive... handles the press etc for insaaniyat baba."
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The interviewer goes to Shravani. She is preparing for her next interview... she sees the interviewer and gives him a dead smile.
"Alright ask whatever you want."
The interviewer was scared to see this zombie. "Umm... how did insaniyat baba come into existence?"
shravani gave a sad look. "You see, he was always like that. In fact, I fell in love with him coz of his insaaniyat for everybody- beggars, street children, Archana, myself, Archana's in-laws etc. For sake of responsibility and insaniyat, he could not leave me in the lurch- so he decided to get married to me. However everytime I tried to come close, he shrank away as if I was a barbed wire with DC current flowing through me. For the first few days, I was scared ki what has happened to him, then he said, he is marrying coz he cannot leave me in the lurch on humanitarian and moral grounds... only insaniyat, no love...that was insaaniyat baba's biggest sacrifice which made people respect him."
"so are you happy that he made such a big sacrifice for you?"
"What happy, why should i be happy? This insaniyat bomb blasted up on my face so badly. First he supported me saying insaniyat ke naate i have to support her otherwise no one else will marry her.. she is Sachin's to- be wife. i thought this insaaniyat thing is my trump card. But then he showed a lot of insaaniyat to Archu also... took care of her when she was ill, defended her in front of Aai... this made me fall in love with him... but then the insaaniyat took another level. He became so concerned for Archu insaaniyat ke naate that when Ajit tried to rape Archu, he almost went to the extent of killing Ajit. Later when we asked why, he said 'The world needs to be free of such beasts... I did it insaaniyat ke nate..' later he fought for Archu in court... why? Since he did not want to kill Ajit insaniyat ke naate, but wanted him to suffer punishment and reform himself. So insaaniyat ke naate, he sent Ajit to jail. These things brought him closer to his wife- she cried on his shoulder and he also hugged her and said to me, it is just insaaniyat ke naate, since I have to console her right now.
Later he came and said, he had wronged his wife, he had come to know truths about his Aai, and he would die of guilt if he got married again. My papa forced, but he said- "Insaniyat ke naate, I cannot get married. It is injustice to both Archu and Shravani." He said he wanted to seek penance for his mistakes... so he became insaniyat baba and now does good deeds for everyone."
"And what now..."
"Well he can't run away now can he? He is supporting my child and me responsibility and insaaniyat ke nate. In any case he is fit to be an ascetic- he is still a male virgin. "
"And what about his personal life...?"
"That I can't answer... you will have to ask his wife.." she said pointing to Archu.
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Archu was sitting on the ground, next to the car... she kept looking over Manav every few minutes. Dressed in saffron, she looked pretty even without makeup.
"you are his wife..?"
"Yes, I am the proud wife of my husband, you see he is in every way a person worth worshipping. Earlier everyone called me blind and foolish when I worshipped him, even Tanya Di, but see, today whole world is worshipping him." she said, her face beaming with pride.
"So you supported him when he decided to leave matrimony and become insaniyat baba?"
"I am the ideal wife.. I even played Sita in 'Agle Janam' ... I have supported him in everything.. even alleged bigamy, so why will I not support him now."
"But what about your married life?"
"OH THAT!" Archana blushed... "See, Manav and I have a very pavitra rishta..insaaniyat ka rishta... you understand na... we don't commit ourselves physically, we just support each other in the name of insaniyat. You know next month Manav is going to the peak of Himalayas, and he asked me if I would like to come along, all insaaniyat ke naate since he knows I won't marry anyone else and won't get a chance to see Kashmir, so he said, I can give you this little pleasure insaniyat ke naate. See how great he is!" Archana's eyes shone with tears.
"wow, so Insaniyat baba will go to Himalayas now... excellent.. I want to know more about his sanyaas."
Archana looked scared. "I wish I could tell you for free insaaniyat ke naate, but Aai will get angry. So take appointment for a personal session with Manav."
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In the evening, the interviewer came to Manav's garage. He was sitting in a posture like Bappa, hands raised till shoulder holding different tools.
"Insaaniyat Baba," interviewer said, "I have paid for a personalised session... they said you would teach me about insaaniyat."
Manav studied him closely. "Keep the camera away. And whatever I say shouldn't come in print. Otherwise my truth will come out and people will also not come."
"Truth...?"
Manav didn't answer. "Bolo bhai... kya poochna hai..?"
"Umm.... I heard how you became insaniyat baba, how do you feel about it?"
Manav groaned. "God... I really regret being a goofball all these days... if I hadn't been so and not kept cloaking my feelings with my favourite word 'insaaniyat', I wouldn't have been in this mess today."
"Mess..???"
"aur nahin to kya... arey... I always loved Archana, still do, but cloaked it with insaniyat, especially that Ajit wala case, coz Shravani was getting depressed and I was supposed to behave decently and not pay Archu attention insaaniyat ke naate (towards shravani) when I came to know the truth about Archana and my Aai, I said, enough... I told Archana I loved her..and wouldn't desert her!!"
The interviewer's eyes widened. "Then what?"
"What 'then what'? She started her insaaniyat lecture this time...'Hw can you leave shravani now, Manav, she loves you and there's Sachin's child...' now I was prepared to take care of both, but how could I force myself to love Shravani. I knew I couldn't do it. So rather than keeping quiet insaaniyat ke naate and spoiling three lives I went and told Girishji, I can't marry your daughter and ruin her life insaaniyat ke naate. Get her married to someone else much better than me, I'll take care of the child."
"So then you should have gone back to Archu... why did you become insaaniyat baba?"
Manav gave a sad look. "Arey when I went back by finally taking in my life the correct and wise decision, everyone except baba said 'go back to shravani insaaniyat ke naate'. Arey what insaaniyat... her life would be ruined, I wasn't a good husband to Archu, how will I be one to her?"
"So I said, 'No Archu, no Shravani, I have come to know meaning of true insaaniyat..' and from that day I became insaaniyat baba!"
"And what is meaning of true insaaniyat?"
"Meaning of true insaaniyat is to stay insaan- human. Don't try to be god... don't spoil your lives by taking on Herculean tasks for others' sake in the name of insaaniyat. Otherwise expectations increase.. if you become normal one day, people call you selfish and throw rotten tomatoes at you. And don't be too good, otherwise the world will eat you raw. I learnt these things from my own experiences. I don't want people to repeat them and be misguided in the name of insaaniyat."
"So are you happy with your life now?"
"In some ways. When I became insaniyat baba, Girishji refused for marriage himself. So all problems ended there for everyone. Plus a large number of people come to me for advice and I like guiding them. The bad thing is my Mom takes money for this and I don't like it and so I'm thinking of putting a full stop."
"how?"
"You know, I'm going to Himalayas next month."
"Yes?"
"And Archu and Baba will be going with me...?"
"So?"
"so what, now I'm free. Will finally have a proper married life with only my well-wishers. Now rest of responsibilities will be fulfilled from there."
"But Archu said..you are taking sanyaas?"
"I said I'm going to Himalays, not taking sanyaas. Arey Himalays are in Kashmir only na, ek hi baat hai. Actually I'm planning to settle in Srinagar. My wife needs a dose of reality. Don't worry, I'll get her to Kashmir and give her this insaaniyat lecture in detail, need to make her stop acting Devi like for insaaniyat sake. Its time both of us stopped acting so mahaan. Everyone took advantage of both of us. My Mom, Girishji, Shravani, everyone. Better get out of here. I have Baba's support. Together we came up with this plan. Inspite of facing everyone boldly, fulfilling all responsibilities towards Shravani and baby, confessing love for Archu, facing taunts and abuses, when Girishji and family members and even Archu kept pressurizing me to marry Shravani and Archu didn't want ArMan to get back coz of insaaniyat for Shravani, I said that I won't marry since I am planning to take sanyaas to seek penance for my mistakes. So I became insaaniyat baba. Everyone stopped pressurizing me. I got this idea from a site called india-forums."
The interviewer was smiling now... "This story should come in print... "
Manav smiled, "Lets see if I get time some day. Right now I'm very busy, its very difficult to get a big garage in Kashmir on such short notice."
