Imposing conditions before marriage? true love..

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P1nk

@P1nk

Dazzler

Posted: 16 years ago

people

this is interesting

lets say u and me are in a relationship [u shd be flattered] and u ask me to change myself after we're married like stop wearing this and that and u shdnt work full time but part time etc..

so

you refuse to change after marriage does that give him or her even the right to re-think about this relationship? should't your lover love you for who u are and respect your desires ???

point is, i always see women doin all the sacrafice, its like you have to mould yourself to suit your inlwas lifestyle?? I don't see men changing themselves for their wives..why is that???.And why Isit that guys impose restrictions on their girlfriends before marriage and if they refuse then they re-think about the whole relationship?do you think its fair? I don't think It is but ive seen it happen, neither isit love, but in the end the girl changes herself because she's in love...er i think men are selfish? not all but majority. yup! Women are always left for sacraficing and compromising..

and please dont ask me what my point is because im already confuzzled afterr eating 8 oranges today.

Edited by P1nk - 16 years ago

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Ajnabee

@*Woh Ajnabee*

Stunner

Posted: 16 years ago

I'm confuzzled at the formatting of your topic. 😆

You're right, you should be loved for who you are, not who your lover wants to be. Having said that, compromise is the name of the game - give some up for him and let him give some up for you! Our culture is more patriarchal, so yes, a lot of times, women are expected to sacrifice more than the guys are. Now does that happen all the time? Nope. If he's trying to change you, then you're not the person he fell in love with. If you're already married, he should've thought of all this before he married you.

This isn't Wal-Mart, there are absolutely no guarantees on the product, nor is there a return/exchange offer. You married it. You deal with it.

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P1nk

@P1nk

Dazzler

Posted: 16 years ago

^ yeah but i think women do most of the compromising all the time, I don't think It's fair.

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karandel_2008

@karandel_2008

Rocker

Posted: 16 years ago

Yeah I agree don't compromise just because someone says that you are a woman. I also agree with Ajnu's post if someone loves someone then they should do it without any conditions.

Edited by karandel_2008 - 16 years ago

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Summer3

@Summer3

Trailblazer

+ 2

Posted: 16 years ago

I think for both men and women once married they are expected to behave and dress in a more respectable and socially acceptable way. There are certain basic customs and ways to follow and comply.

Anything more than this is oppression.
😆

But it is a given fact that once married there is some loss of personal freedom as two become one. I think the richer and larger families may have more dos and donts.

Edited by Summer3 - 16 years ago

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Believe

@-Believe-

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 16 years ago

In our life fillied with lots of different conditions and law's so its natural people(both gender) adjest and compromise with the situtation,and I believe marriage itself a conditioned commitment....😊

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413185

Suspended

Posted: 16 years ago

well im not flattered, rather im confuzzled that you're eating 8 oranges :S

anyway, I guess you should stop wearing this and doing that. You're a woman, deal with it.

Note: I'm joking. The space was for you to laugh or be angry.

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66567

Suspended

Posted: 16 years ago

Originally posted by: P1nk
^ yeah but i think women do most of the compromising all the time, I don't think It's fair.

LOL.. Life is never fair..😳 .. like DD's ran out of chocolate creme donuts today..😕 i had to buy the coconut one..😆 .. just got to deal with it.. !! 😛

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Summer3

@Summer3

Trailblazer

+ 2

Posted: 16 years ago

Originally posted by: Meena1

LOL.. Life is never fair..😳 .. like DD's ran out of chocolate creme donuts today..😕 i had to buy the coconut one..😆 .. just got to deal with it.. !! 😛

Life is not a bed of roses and sometimes even paying top dollar may not render satisfaction. I have been buying quite a few brands of ice cream and I find most of them either too sweet or too creamy, that is what I mean.😆 Has nothing to do with marriage.

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Star_on_earth

@Star_on_earth

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 16 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: P1nk
people

this is interesting

lets say u and me are in a relationship [u shd be flattered] and u ask me to change myself after we're married like stop wearing this and that and u shdnt work full time but part time etc..

so

you refuse to change after marriage does that give him or her even the right to re-think about this relationship? should't your lover love you for who u are and respect your desires ???

point is, i always see women doin all the sacrafice, its like you have to mould yourself to suit your inlwas lifestyle?? I don't see men changing themselves for their wives..why is that???.And why Isit that guys impose restrictions on their girlfriends before marriage and if they refuse then they re-think about the whole relationship?do you think its fair? I don't think It is but ive seen it happen, neither isit love, but in the end the girl changes herself because she's in love...er i think men are selfish? not all but majority. yup! Women are always left for sacraficing and compromising..

and please dont ask me what my point is because im already confuzzled afterr eating 8 oranges today.

ofcourse you should be loved for what you are...but then sometimes people go mad in love and they do it just to please the other person...in most cases its women..they think they are doing it out of love..but dont realise the other person is kind of changing them..

but i dont think its fair for anyone to expect the other to change after marr.