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461075

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Posted: 16 years ago

#11

u will be amazed to know just how many village women "support" their menfolk and their families. it is not uncommon for a woman to find herself without her husband- he is working "elsewhere", he is drunk, he is with another woman, he is depressed and cannot find work etc.

Very true! However, none of those women embark upon matrimony with the knowledge that their husbands are to be 'absentee landlords' ... the assumption is that supporting a family is a male responsibility ... is that not true for every patriarchical society (I cannot recall a single instance of an extant matriarchical one)?

This phenomenon is the primary impetus for the micro credit industry and several other programs that work on eradicating poverty in rural areas.

My recollection of Dr. Yunus' work in this area has been to eradicate poverty in general ... that women are the majority borrowers and hence beneficiaries is in some sense 'serendipitous' ... but you're right & their drive for survival and betterment stems from instincts maternal ...

So, the idea of a "woman working" and supporting her man, is not "western", bt extremely traditional, indian rural- I agree, not Indian urban!

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bewajah

@bewajah

Navigator

Posted: 16 years ago

#12

while i wud like to c what u'all are proposing, as in simi supporting abhi, but methinks its too radical for tv audiences. As pointed out, living in the west has perhaps changed our sensibilities but urban middle class India (at whom this serial seems to be aimed) will find it hard enough to digest the 8yr age difference.

@ Blokes
This does happen not only in rural society but also in the lower strata of urban India but then the men in such situations are regarded by everyone as cads and we cant have our hero being called one now can we??

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Ganga

@Avatarana09

Dazzler

Posted: 16 years ago

#13

Till as late as in 1960-1970, Kerala was strictly matriarchal, the system was officially abolished in 1976.

In those days, the property and money was in female hands.She never left her ancestral home post marriage.She had the liberty to choose men in her life, the so called"Sambandhams" as it was called. Not an offical marriage but just a liasion. The woman lived in her ancestral home, men came in and walked out. Since the woman was financially secure, she did not have to worry over a man leaving her. So the system of having your mothers name as initials was very much prevalent cos its obvious which woman gives birth to her child, but the paternity was never a bother.

Even now, though officially abolished, in most families, women belong to their mother's ancestral home and not the father's. For family equations relating to practice of rituals, I still follow my mom's home festivals and functions till date.

Things have changed a lot. But people do still confirm to the matriarchal lineage.

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461075

Suspended

Posted: 16 years ago

#14

but urban middle class India (at whom this serial seems to be aimed) will find it hard enough to digest the 8yr age difference.

Is a 'rude awakening' or a shower of 'cold water' in order then? What should be the approach? One small step at a time (for man) or one giant leap for Indian middle-class (mankind)?! Funny how, some things are adopted as easily as ducks taking to water (because it makes lives so convenient), and others ... well like pulling teeth from a hen!

Since the woman was financially secure, she did not have to worry over a man leaving her.

Which is why I said 'extant' ... I cannot remember where I read this, but my recollection is that the money part while inherited matrilineally, was via the male relatives i.e. the mama's daughter(s) inherited their maasi's money ... is this untrue?

But even in patriarchies, women who are financially secure need have no worries about being supported ... I mean can you think that either Oprah, Martha Stewart, Suze Orman, or J.K. Rowling have any worries in the world? I mean any worries?!! Being independently wealthy is the way to go and we now live in times where women being able to achieve that is orders of magnitude more possible than ever before in human history (which incidentally is incredibly incredibly short) ...

But mesimi - thanks for the information!! It's always good to keep 'ze leetle gray cells' (Poirot) working! 😊

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