Part 1
His eyes fluttered open slowly, Nikki's face swimming into vision. Darkness mingled with light on the horizon, a blend of colours hugging each other tightly, dawn threatening to break them apart. Through his lashes, he could see his wife's hair resting lightly around her shoulders, the lavender scent soothing to his senses. His wife. They'd been married 6 months and he still paused a little every time he thought of the word or said it. His wife. 6 months and still he found himself unbelieving, in a silent awe at moments like this. Admiration, wonder and at the heart of them both, an instinctive, pure love flowed into him at the sight of her.
Nikki lay sleeping on her side, turned towards him. Her face wiped clear of any emotions, relaxed, almost liberated. It dawned on him that he was the only one who got to see her in a state so vulnerable, so open and unguarded, free of any masks. His eyes slipped down the gentle bridge of her nose, those high cheekbones, bee-stung lips... Lord, but she was beautiful.
He wanted to touch her cheek just to make sure she wasn't a dream, but didn't with the fear of waking her up. Rather, he placed his hand on the small of her waist and she leaned into his familiar touch, her body warm. Smiling slightly, he thought of how lucky he was, realizing for the millionth time that he was irrevocably in love with the woman so innocently asleep beside him. Closing his eyes, Abhi prayed for no harm to ever reach her and an unfaltering smile to remain on her face, forever.
Soon enough he drifted off as well, the warmth of her body flowing into him. Two parts of one whole.
* * *
Nikki left the wards satisfied with her patient's progress, and her mind relaxed slightly as she made her way to the canteen for lunch. She was a resident doctor at Sanjeevani now, she had been married 6 months - so much had happened that she couldn't possibly still be the same Nikki, but she was. Somehow, without realising, she had earned the awe of her interns and respect of the staff and patients alike. So much change, yet she hadn't, at all. She had said that to Abhi this morning, after playfully wishing him a happy 6 month anniversary. And he had kissed her nose and told her -
Nikki closed her eyes briefly, oblivious to the smile diffusing across her face. Abhi - Abhi made life perfect.
She blinked suddenly. Was someone calling her name?
Turning, she found herself face to face with a very breathless Sister Lovely.
"Oh, Dr Nikita ji, you are here ji! I've searched the whole hospital -"
"Why didn't you check the register? I had ward rounds."
"Dr Nikita ji, it's the new nurse!" Sister Lovely complained. "She's made a kichdi of the whole duty register, ji." Disgruntled, Sister Lovely glared around her as if expecting the offender to come waltzing by at that very moment. "I looked in all the other wards for you, and Dr Modi's office, he was -"
Past experience told Nikki it would be wise to interrupt before the softening on Sister Lovely's face gave way to complete adoration at mention of Abhi.
"Sister Lovely, you needed me?"
"Oh, haan ji," Sister Lovely jumped and reverted back to urgency. "There was a call for you, ji."
"Was it important? I wasn't paged," she replied in surprise.
"Uh...no..." Sister Lovely hesitated, unsure how to continue. "It wasn't a patient, ji. And they asked for Dr Nikita Malhotra. It seemed urgent; I wasn't sure what to tell them..."
"Did they leave a name?" asked Nikki, intrigued. It wasn't unlike past patients to express gratitude, but someone she'd treated 6 months ago, before she'd married and her name had changed?
Sister Lovely shook her head morosely. "I told them to wait, ji, that I'd find you, but -"
"It's okay, just let me know if they call again. I'll be in the clinics this afternoon. Oh, are those the files from Ward 108?"
Sister Lovely nodded and Nikki's eyes flickered to her watch. There was still a little more time left before Abhi would leave for his meeting, and perhaps -
She searched through the files and fished one out triumphantly. There was something she had been meaning to discuss with Abhi. Determined and ready to face him, she headed towards his office.
Abhi was standing at the bookcase, flipping through a journal and talking into his phone. As she quietly let herself into his office his head jerked up. Seeing it was her, he motioned for her to sit down and turned back to the window.
"In the journal of May 2008? Yes, I remember it. I remember it because the article was absolute rubbish."
Nikki stifled a laugh, and went around the desk to sit in his chair instead. She liked his chair; there was a certain familiarity to it, perhaps the fact that like the rest of the room, it contained an essence of Abhi. This was where hopefully (she grinned to herself) he dreamed about her, and it also happened to be the chair in which more than once, she had sat in his lap and shared more than a few kisses.
There was a pause while Abhi listened - a very impatient pause, Nikki thought.
"He's just a guest speaker, not a Nobel laureate. Deal with him. No, pacifying an arrogant man with a heightened sense of worth isn't my job. I suppose you didn't call me to babysit this man?" Shaking his head, he hung up.
He glanced at her. "Just a moment, Nikki."
She shrugged lightly, and went back to examining his desk, letting her mind drift off. Wasn't a little clutter supposed to be good for you? Sometimes she wondered just how human Abhi was.
"What's the status on - "
Rotating slightly on the chair, she reached out to pick up the only personal item he kept on his desk, a framed photo of her.
" - with the recent complications, we have to wait longer for a second surgery -"
It wasn't her favourite photo, but Abhi always insisted that he loved it, and once, during one of her many attempts to get him to change it, divulged that he'd never seen her look more beautiful. Disgruntled, she had to admit there wasn't much she could say to argue against that, but she wondered why he couldn't have chosen a picture of them together, like the one that sat on her desk.
" - risk it. A day or two of recovery time should be sufficient."
She swivelled round to look up at him expectantly as he finished off the call and hung up.
"I'm assuming from the file in your hand that you didn't just come in here to sit in my chair." Running a hand through his hair, he made his way to the door she had left slightly open, and firmly closed it. "Nikki."
Positioning the file on his desk, she sprang up lightly. "I know, I know, only you get to sit in the chair. Don't be so childish, Abhi," and then, as he opened his mouth in sceptical protest, "I need a consult."
He began to turn the pages abruptly, scanning them.
"This is the third time today. Is no one capable of doing their own job anymore? Ridiculous," he muttered.
She bit her lip, half amused. "Well Dr Modi, I know you're the first person I would go to if I wanted any work done."
He gave her a sideways glance, along with something that to anyone else but her would be considered a glare and shook his head. "It seems straightforward enough. Acute renal failure. As you're well aware, Dr Nikita, not all of our consults have been productive."
"In the medical sense of the word." She ventured cheekily.
"Wait." His hand halted suddenly on a page. "A psychiatry case? Sucidal?"
He looked up and met her eyes briefly, doubt shadowing his own. She shifted slightly, ready to be on the defensive. Abhi had never been comfortable with her fascination for psychiatry, or rather, she suspected, the patients her fascination for psychiatry led her to deal with. But it was one of the things that truly interested her, similar to his passion for surgery. He frowned slightly and looked back at the file.
"You've already taken a psychiatric history, I see. Depression? No, suspected schizophrenia." He corrected himself. "Isolate him, I suppose. And take a more detailed history."
"That's it?"
He gave a wry smile. "I would have preferred depression."
Her smile deepened at the quirk and she had the urge to him, I love you. Instead, she draped her arms around his neck, and kissed his cheek. "Thanks, Abhi!"
On her way out, Nikki turned back at the door to see him watching her with an absent smile on his face, fingers drumming on the desk.
"I love you," He added, almost as an afterthought.
* * *
"Nikki!" Muskaan accosted her just as she left Abhi's office. "Kya baat hai! Ever since a certain someone got married, I've had to eat lunch by myself everyday!"
Nikki laughed. "As if we don't see each other every day. Muskaan, if I remember correctly wasn't it just last week we had that shopping spree? You should have seen Abhimanyu's face when I walked in with all those bags!"
"Did you give him his present?"
"He said he was touched. Thousands of rupees worth of clothes for myself and I bought him a tie."
Muskaan clutched her arm and giggled. "Oh, and I chose it, remember?"
"Cartoon penguins? You knew he would never wear it!"
"So did you, and oye, you found it rather funny at the time, missy. But is he still complaining about that? He should be thanking me for that black dress I forced you to buy," she winked.
"He hasn't seen me in it yet."
"What are you waiting for, Nikki? Knock him dead!"
Nikki laughed. "Well, seeing as I pretty much bowl him over every day, I thought I'd save it for a special occasion."
Muskaan nodded approvingly.
"These men have no idea how lucky they are. And Dr Modi can do without you today. I have gossip to fill you in on, and it just isn't the same when it's that Richa sitting across the table, yaar. The way her eyes pop open." Nikki laughed at Muskaan's impression. "I've never met anyone so cluless!"
She linked arms with Nikki as they walked towards the canteen. "I mean, isn't it just so obvious that Dr Baweja's planning to leave Sanjeevani? And Richa works with the man."
"Dr Baweja? Is that why - ? Oh." Nikki frowned as she pieced together this new development with their previous conversations on the Hottie of the Gynaecology department (admittedly, he was the only male, but he still deserved the title). Her brow cleared in comprehension. "Well, he'd better be careful of Abhi if he's going to start job hunting under his nose."
"That would make him an idiot. Why the hell would anyone want to leave Sanjeevani, anyway?"
"Well, Abhi thinks he -"
Muskaan interrupted impatiently. "Abhi thinks? Ab yeh Modi kahaan se agaya? Ah, I guess now that you're all married you can't even help me mourn the loss of such a handsome man without bringing your husband into it," she sighed dramatically.
Nikki laughed once again at Muskaan's theatrics. "Woman, are you familiar with someone called Rahul Garewal? He loves you, you love him...?"
"I do love him. But I also know that Dr Baweja is worth a second look. They may say love is blind but I'm not that far gone." Muskaan's eyes narrowed mischievously. "Unlike you."
"Muskaan!"
Muskaan's pager began to buzz, saving her from Nikki's onslaught. One hand outstretched to shield herself from Nikki, she fished out the pager with the other hand and glanced down at it, her face suddenly lighting up.
"I think it's Mrs Mehta! Twins, Nikki!" Her eyes softened. "I'm sorry! Lunch on me, tomorrow!"
Nikki smiled as she watched Muskaan rush out of the canteen. Muskaan was over the top at times, scandalously funny at others, but she had a heart sculpted from marshmallows beneath that fiery attitude, which showed in the absolute weakness she had for children.
She glanced around and saw Dr Baweja sitting alone at a table, talking into his phone in a low voice. Why not join him for lunch, she thought wickedly. Next time, she'd have news for Muskaan.
Nikki left the canteen half an hour later, a wasted half hour, she muttered to herself. She'd rather have spent a few more seconds with Abhi before he left than listen to Dr Baweja's empty ego drone on without letting her get a word in - a difficult feat for the best of people.
She walked down the hall looking through the paperwork of the patient she was expecting in a few minutes. Mind engrossed, she barely felt the tap on her arm.
"Hmmm?" Glancing up, she found Sister Lovely grinning triumphantly at her.
"Dr. Nikita ji! There's a phone for you. That Dr. Malhotra-wala..."
"Oh, that's...thank you, Sister Lovely," Nikki tried to balance her concentration between Sister Lovely's eager expression and the case notes she was holding. Looking back into the file in her hand, she scratched in a few hasty notes before replying with a quick smile. "I'll be there in a second."
"Dr. Nikita speaking," she automated into the phone, pen still furiously moving on the paper. A few seconds of silence on the other side, and a few more seconds until she realized no one was speaking. The pen became still. "Hello?" The sound of throat being cleared. "Is anyone there?" she inquired.
"Nikita?" A male voice, heavy with emotion, ventured her name, breaking within just the three syllables.
"Yes, this is Dr. Nikita," she replied, frowning into the phone.
"Nikita...It's me." The voice was familiar, tugging at the corners of her memory. She tried to pull up a name, an image, but it was all vague, cloaked under the dust of memories long buried. A sort of dread started to build itself up in her chest and her breathing quickened. Something about the way he said her name...
"I'm sorry, I -"
But even before pronouncing the last word, her heart had fallen through to the floor. Chest heaving, she realized she had recognized the voice on the other side of the phone, her mind fixed on a clear, sharp name and image now. A tremor of shock went through her whole body, making strength drain out of her legs lightning-fast. The room seemed to become still for a moment, her body breaking out in sweat, the harsh lights of the hospital boring into her eyes.
" -I didn't catch your name," she whispered, trying to buy time. As if any amount of time could reverse what she had just heard. Could reverse whose voice it was, so real and frighteningly close against her ear.
After all these years?
The dread amplifying in Nikki's chest seeped into her soul, smothering all senses.
No.
A pandemonium unleashed inside her, the phone dropping out of her hands of its own accord.
Nikita stared at it, trapped in a moment she desperately wanted to escape from. How? Swaying, she tried to stop it from overwhelming her as she numbly felt herself stumble backwards, thoughts lurching violently.
"Hello...? Hello!? Hello!?..." The metallic remnants of that voice on the other side called out until the line went dead and only a continuous, uninterrupted beep remained.
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