Chapter 2: Reappraisal
She didn't understand it at all. It was her first day in college and since she had arrived everything was going downhill. She didn't know the reason for her peers biased antagonism. Surely there were many students who had joined new but it was as if the entire college was plotting against her and it was working for them very well. She was publicly humiliated, embarrassed to death and she wanted to get away from everyone as fast as possible and as far as possible. But luck was not on her side.
It had all started the day before the college actually. A silly poolside party had gotten her excited enough to forget the social difference that existed between her and her peers. At that moment she thought that all those differences didn't really matter to anyone. Everyone just wanted to have a good time but she didn't realize that the good times that they were going to have came at the expense of her and her sister's embarrassment. She had pretty much rough skin which could endure their teasing for a while but her sister was much delicate and it had taken only couple of moments for her eyes to well up. Even she was little stumped at the obvious hostility that was shown towards her.
She had managed to beat around the night and somehow get through it. Her principle was quite simple; put up or shut up. By the end of the night, she had resigned herself to the fact that she could never fit in with the crowd.
The last straw was when she was stuck in men's restroom and locked in a stall. In college, she had maintained a distance from every human that she could possibly come in contact except perhaps her sister and her cousins. She was all for small pranks which embarrassed people for few minutes or when they were made fool of; silly pranks which got over even before people got hurt ' physically or emotionally. But in their case it seemed as if these pranks would leave behind some serious emotional scars.
Her desperate plea for help was ignored and she was shouting till her voice turned hoarse. Her nails broke and fingers bruised but the door didn't budge. It was then she heard a male voice on the other side of the door.
"Please stand still, I will unlock the door." She breathed a sigh of relief and shot out thanks. Her luck was so miserable that day that the doorjamb was stuck. She could hear the guy growling under his breath to get the door open and all she could do was wait helplessly and sometimes pulling the door with all her might.
It took him few moments to get the door open and when it did, he was hit by flash of pink and blue, face hidden behind hands which had nails painted in red and was assaulted by sweet perfume, sweat and stifled sobbing. The girl was definitely scared and he had no idea what to do with her. She had rested her head on his shoulders and his arms were uselessly lying on his sides.
It took her a moment to assess the predicament she was in. When she peeked through her fingers, all she could see was warm sunset orange and smelled of laundry soap. There was something earthy yet ethereal about the guy on whose shoulder her head currently rested. It was the guy who had opened the door for her and she couldn't understand for the life of her why there was a lump in her throat and useless tears were trickling from her eyes. The helplessness that she had felt when she was locked in the stall was slowly seeping out of her and she could feel her confidence returning inch by inch. She raised her head to mumble a thank you and when she looked into his eyes, she was hit by a blast of calmness. There was nothing special about the guy but everything about him was different. There was a sense of serenity surrounding the guy and she felt being pulled to that. Her mind screamed her to run and her legs obeyed. She muttered a hurried thank you and an apology and she ran as fasts as her legs could take her.
When she realized that she was as far as possible from the guy she just met, she slowed down her pace and tried to catch her breath. She looked around and found herself near computer room. She had imagined something like this would exist in her college given the status of it and was suddenly glad. She could find her release there.
She logged in to the college homepage and checked if there was anything interesting going on. Who was she kidding? She wanted to see if her last entry had any replies. No, scratch that. She wanted to see if he had replied on her last post. A smile crept on her face when she saw that there was indeed a reply for her last piece of scribble.
Time's up; wake up, get up, grow up and please, chin up.
And I still don't know if you are sleeping or burning?
--- Library_Guy
She stared at her screen for handful of moments. She was lost in a world where her words intermingled with his and created a beautiful symphony. The orchestra that was playing in her head was a soothing lullaby one that was beckoning her to calm down and be realistic. She decided that both their words together painted a decent picture. She was however disappointed that there were no entries from him since last time. There were words forming in her head when she was running away from that stranger an hour or so ago. The words were raw and were filled with unadulterated angst and she wasn't sure if it was wise on her part to post that. She finally let go of her irrational fear and typed down the words.
Their judgment scorched my delicate skin
Their biased views parched my throat
Purge my mind of cutting remarks
In dire need of some soothing salve
Lend me your shoulder and
Share your sunset.
Before she could have any thoughts of correcting it by adding, editing or deleting, she logged off from the college site and went in search of her sister. She hoped her sister to have a better day than her.
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He started at the figure that was retreating very rapidly. Sure, there were many students who were intimidated by his presence but he had just helped this girl and she had run away from him after one look into his eyes. Or perhaps it was his face, he thought. There was residual ire in her eyes burning behind the wetness which he had a feeling would be unleashed soon. The girl had looked both strong and pathetic at a given point of time and his logical brain couldn't comprehend the coexistence of two opposites. Maybe that's what she was; a walking contradiction, his mind mocked. He shook his head to shake of invisible dust and also perhaps some irrationality when he was at it. He had seen the girl two minutes ago and he was already analyzing her actions and categorizing them in his brain. He shook his head and glared at few guys who were looking at him as if he had lost his mind. He may be deemed as a college nerd and geek but that didn't mean he was a person who wouldn't leave a scar if anyone dared to cross his path. Of course, the scars he left on others varied between emotional and physical ones. The sniggering guys now left him alone with his thoughts and he thought vaguely if those were the guys who had locked the girls there.
He found it very odd when people played pranks on others. He rolled his eyes at his mother when she asked him to loosen up and join in the fun. Pranks, irrespective of the scale in which they were classified, were in the end something that could hurt people. No one really knows about anyone's state of mind. Even a harmless prank at one point can become fatal in a wrong moment. He didn't think that it was a risk worth taking. Also it was one of the things that made him stand out amidst his peers. His legs carried him to the library and he was on autopilot and he was fine with that. He started organizing his notes from the lectures which he had attended that day as soon as he found an empty table for himself. He always sat in the back of the library where people rarely visited as that section of library mostly served as archives for old magazines and college year books. It was only few moments till his concentration got set and after that he was lost in his own world of book reports and assignments and project presentation.
When he looked up from his work, he realized that couple of hours had passed by and he was ready to take a break. He decided to check his emails and walked towards computer room. As he got himself settled in front of a computer, his mind was suddenly bombarded with images of a girl in pink and blue, red nails and tear coated eyes. He sighed and shook his head. It was odd in the way a girl had managed to stick in his head for this long. He was surprised to see a comment on his poetry and that too by the same girl on whose poetry he had posted a reply on.
When you sigh with your shadow on the beach, follow the smoke signal which is right next to the sunset because that would be me, setting the sun ablaze.
-- Smalltown_Girl
His forehead broke into tiny beads of sweat. He could not deny the attraction that he found in her words. He could completely understand what she meant in her words. What blew him off was the fact she had understood his words. It unwound him completely. He took in a shaky breath and re-read her words for a dozen times till he could imagine sand beneath his feet and warm sun on his face. As he closed his eyes to enjoy the warmth, his mind was haunted with images of a girl with wide eyes ' furious and sad. He sighed. He had to get it out of his system before it consumed his sanity. His hands swept on his face in a way to refresh himself of his state and to reinstate some amount of sanity before the same hands swept across keyboard to translate the insanity of his mind to words on his blog.
Fire in her eyes, gabbing mouth and her stance to pounce,
Reddening cheeks, gasping breaths and her flailing arms;
Are you a firecracker or a humming bird?
He didn't bother to put in a title to his work. He was surprised to find an entry from her though. He had gotten an idea that she was changing places and it had been hardly a day or two since she had last posted. When he read, he understood the reason for her urgency. Her words were raw, untainted with too many edits and reflected her state of mind. She was having a hard day at her school or college or wherever she had gone.
He was taken aback when he felt pity flowing through his system for a girl with whom he had exchanged handful of pretty words. He simply labeled the day as insane and decided to go home before he made a fool of himself.
There is always next day.
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Music Companion
1) "Living on borrowed time" - Puddle of Mudd
2) "Like a Rolling stone" - Rolling Stones
3) "Heavy and Hanging" - Patterson Hood
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Click for next chapter here: Revaluation
Edited by -Sookie- - 15 years ago
Book Talk
Cricket
