Today's episode – ANGAD'S truth finally came out of his mouth! Finally, he agreed to his heart's feeling that he subdued and denied within himself for the longest time. We could all feel his deepest FEAR—fear of him not being important in Kripa's life… fear of her life walking out on him…fear of seeing his love's heart belonging to someone else…in short fear of LOSING LOVE of the one who matters the most to him—his BELOVED !!! Today he felt that he really lost for he loved her more than himself and he acknowledged it. Those tears racing down his cheeks carried acceptance of her importance in his identity.
Kripa controls Angad's heart and vice versa coz no matter how much anger and resentment they have poured out for each other, they still reside in each others hearts. Today they had focused on Angad's emotions (soon Kripa's turn will come)… he couldn't even release her thoughts for few minutes. Her innocent radiance in his life, her attacks on his ego, her mocking presence with words, their beautifully blissful times, their cherished moments, their dreadful events—countless images that simply are hovering over his heart and mind.
Egotism works as anesthesia for it dulls the pain by temporarily giving us the notion of pain being avoidable by running away from ourselves. Mistaken belief of Angad got crushed today as he broke down with a torn heart filled with memories. Worst pain men can suffer from is to have insight into the pain, but helpless to do anything knowing everything. The shell broke down which had enclosed his understanding… now even though understanding came the one to understand seemed to have walked away.
Seeing the heights of pain in his eyes and the depths of love in his heart – my heart was melting away. He simply performed brilliantly for his eyes emit beautiful emotions in a wonderful fashion. But we watched his excellent performance, but guys pay close attention to his words…I would like to discuss what he said as he bitterly wept in the night of heartbreaking solitude.
He said to Shabir, " Woh usse pyar karti …Prithvi se pyar karti hain.. Main toh yahi sochta tha ki mujhe mera pyar vapas mil jayega…meri Kripa vapas mil jayegi…usne kabhi mujhse pyar hi nahi kiya, usne hamesha se sirf Prithvi se hi pyar kiya (Angad taps his brain as if to show how could he fail to see that…) Maine uski guse ko ignore kia, uski nafrat ko ignore kiya ye samajh ke ki woh mujhse pyar karte hain aur apne feelings nahi dekhana chahti hain. Woh mere emotions ke saath khelti rahi…maine use pyar kiya aur…its sad. Tumhe kya lagta mein gaana ga sakunga. Gaan gane ke liye dil mein ehsaas hona chahiye…jab mere paas dil hi nahi hai…sab kuch khatam ho gaya shabir…"
The ones that I highlighted hold a lot of significance or atleast I perceive in such ways. Angad expresses that he was waiting for love and that he would again find Kripa after being lost in the world of loneliness. He never let go off her because he hoped for her return. He knew that behind all that hate and anger, she loved him but never wanted to reveal that. He knew love was waiting in the corner and would walk up soon, but now he saw it move in another direction. So horribly trampled by his love that his heart unable to see music of life…without any tunes in heart how can he manage to sing? Today, he felt defeated. Today, his heart was alone in the midst of every pain inflicted directly at him.
"Woh mere emotions ke saath khelti rahi…maine use pyar kiya aur…" Angad agreed she played with your feeling, but was it only her? You claim to love her today, but why so late? If you always wished for her presence in your life then why did you hurt her at every point? You know what…love doesn't approach to us if we bestow hate and anger to them. I don't believe that your love vanished, but you never really made that evident to her when she was with you again. Accepting yourself was the hardest part…but look how long it took you and how much you lost along the way by being in denial. The eyes cried out in pain, felt by the heart so badly that conscience also couldn't believe the atrocity of her leaving in such way which was unimaginable to him.
The fire around him on stage reflected how he was burning from within each and every second…how the ashes of his performance was not scared by the crowd but by absence of her tunes in his rhythms. She showed care towards Prithvi, but left Angad stranded in the middle of nowhere… couldn't move in any direction.
But Angad don't lose hope…you know what Kripa is unaware of—TRUTH. Truth of your innocence, truth of Prithvi's deeds, truth of Kripa's real love…truth which will once again connect the threads of love and make an unbreakable bond for life. Truth which will embellish life's true meaning by appointing happiness to enter with love. Hearts will be bridged, smiles will return, and love will spread again!
So, sweeties even though today's episode was heart-wrenching, please hold onto the faith coz they will reunite soon. Angad might seem to be sinking now, but no one can drown in love…after all Kripa will come to rescue! Two lovers swimming in different ways will meet and continue in life together …coz even the sea of care, winds of repentance, air of tenderness, and sky of love will support them.
So what all do you guys think?
-Love4ever!
Ufff Yeh Love Hai Mushkil
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