Boundless Circle...

Originally posted by: nandinidev

BOUNDLESS CIRCLE


It never ends
this life
this boundless circle
the same road to tread
everyday, again

The opening paragraph is so concise, that it gives a succinct not to mention 'sharp' (if that is the write word to use ), that it forebodes and conveys that what is to be given to the reader ahead. The pain that a child endures day after day, treading on this road otherwise known as life that doesn't give anything but PAIN...

The watchful eyes
the clenched heart It is powerful that you stated that the heart is clenched, as I can imagine, in a situation as such, that the child physically will clench everything to release themselves from this struggle and pain that they must endure. The fact that the heart an organ which is protected by the rib cage is clenched emphasizes how deep this pain can effect one both physically and mentally. Again I am having a problem trying to articulate my point, but I hope you can understand. The part of a human which is already protected requires more protection due to the endurance of such a deep pain. The organ that decides life or death needs the extra protection as it i will decide will the child live or die due to the aftermath of this wicked attack placed on the child.
the whispered words
out of earshot
the secret prayer The secret. Secrets- Nobody knows or can even come to terms with the pain. The child is isolated within them self that the pain as well as the secrecy of the prayer is concealed within them. As a reader, the message that was conveyed across to me was that the term prayer hold connotations for asking God, and praying he would listen and try and stop this pain. I mean prayer- a sort of last ray for hope that 'please help', but still being ignored. Hence the term 'whispered', you used before. But no this last hope isn't even heard.

the straitjacket; This one word meant so much. It got me crying and I still am as I type. The suffocation the child endures. The fact they cannot move. Packed so tight. It creates that sense of reach for help, but they can not, as they are suffocated within this horrendous pain. Again emphasizing on the title, that this pain is boundless and there is no way out. Strapped so tightly, that the inner struggle means nothing, not to you as you are helpless, not to the abuser and the world outside, as no one can help you over come it.
The world could flip Flip- Both physically, mentally. Literally flip. His unpredictable mood swing now or later, but end result the poor child will suffer.
this moment
or the next

Watching for signs
counting mistakes
I may have made
and can still undo
before he sees
An upturned slipper
Here we go The usage of the word 'we' allowed me personally as a reader to imagine as I myself was being placed into the situation. Trying to put myself in this vulnerable child's shoes and watch my world flip, as all hell breaks loose as this man whom I call 'father' beats me black and blue. I am speaking as if I am in the situation, that is how potent and accurate each word you have penned down is. And not many people can do that.

The inferno rages No not hell, not fire, not blaze, but this INFERNO. The inferno enclosing all these. The everlasting inferno. The never ending inferno. Burning 'searing' everything and everyone 'this little child'. Again conjures a very graphic image of what he is like. Again a powerful metaphor. How do you do it Nandini, How? Forget how Hannah but WOW WOW WOW. Is all I can say. Really wow!
searing everything
every shred of love
or not the love
just the life... The love that maybe he had for one day. Gone.

Each minute passes
with agonising sloth
how much longer? I am sure that the minute for this child must feel like years. A minute cannot even measure the long term damage that this one minute is going to do.The imprint for the rest of her precious life, if she manages to survive.

My rage boils down
bubbles within
airtight for the moment
his goes on boiling
still searing everything
every shred of love
or not the love
just the life...the repetition, again conveys that the child is bullied within their own pain. Bullied so deep that they are torn between the pain given to them, and the pain (love) which her father once may have had for her. Nandini, this is just making me cry even more.


Boiling and bubbling
till sleep arrives
and eyes close to his one night
and ours, countless
Dawn breaks How many more of mine and many others reader tears do you intend to snatch. This Dawn a dawn which theoretically is supposed to bring sunlight with it does not. Instead rays of anxiety, oppression and a beg or a measly 'whisper' to the lord for freedom.
for him
for us
only to await nightfall
again. One word. One full stop. And that is all that is requires to accentuate this infinite pain. You need not write again and again, because the full stop conveys that this pain can never stop and that is just it. She has learnt to live with it. Followed by the sentence 'It never ends' again reinforcing that it never ends and it feels like it never will end.

It never ends
this night
this boundless circle
the same stars to count
every night, again reiterating that there is no way out. Its just the same thing that has gone on for a long period of time.
Looking for life
somewhere among them
in those little beams of light
for some part of me
that is not him
or the night
or the boundless circle.

My favourite paragraph of this whole poem. The fact that you have utilized the whole concept of stars. Conveying the light the hope, that ray that search between each star, but effectively ending of with the whole circular Boundless Circle. The opression, that this pain is never ending. It cannot end as it is a BOUNDLESS circle. 👏 Seriously this stupid small icon is all I have to praise your work, which in itself is so small, but really this poem does deserve an ovation. Its better than some of the crap I have to read at school due to the curriculum.

Originally posted by: nandinidev

Soph...!!! 🤗

First of all, thank you so so SO much...and second, this is absolutely freaky, because this is what I had planned for my FF...that's what I was working on in terms of Ridz's diary entry...this is wierd, because it's something very close to me as well...will try to come up with something more now for the FF, I guess...because I know you're going to do a fabulous job with whatever you take up...will wait eagerly for your treatment of the theme...

And most of all, thanks so much for understanding what I was trying to convey...means alot to me, really...more than I can perhaps convey in words...

Cheers! 😃

Omgggg yaar it iz tooo good

soooo touchy