A Girl's dream and dilemma
It was a lovely evening, I thought to myself. Power was out. I was sitting by the window with a book in my hand. I could hardly focus on what I was reading. I was mesmerized by the world outside the window. "Will I ever get out?" I thought to myself. I sighed. I saw a pair of squirrels run and get on to our guava tree. They were sharing a guava fruit. A faint smile crept on my face. A cool breeze blew in caressing my face. I closed my eyes , fully enjoying it. The wind disturbed a few locks of my hair, which now dangle my face gently rubbing against my cheeks. I heard footsteps, my eyes turned towards the book. Dad just walked in with a smile on his face. "What's going on?" He asked, gently putting my hair behind my ear. "Hi daddy", I smiled. "Don't read in the dark. It will affect your eyes." He gently cautioned. "So, what are you reading?" Sitting in the sofa, showing me to sit beside him. I bookmarked the page and went and sat by his side, laid down putting my head in his lap. That was my favorite thing to do. He started to gently stroke my hair. I breathed in deeply to remember his perfume.
"Are you sad Bulli?" He asked." No daddy, I am just thinking". "Well then, shoot" he said with a broad smile on his face. "What makes you think I have questions?" I was irritated that he assumed I had something to ask. He laughed "Well, don't you?". "Umm, yes I do, but I didn't like that you knew." I said, rather childishly. "Daddy, Is being a girl a good thing or a bad thing?" I asked, unsure how to ask the question. There was a small frown on his fore head. "Why do you want to know, Bulli? Did someone say something to you?" he enquired. "Answer me, Daddy." I insisted. "Let's see", he said. "I think being a girl is a good thing because, you get to wear pretty clothes, everyone thinks you are precious and if you cry correctly, you can get away with any crime." I shot up from his lap. "That's what you think of ME?" I screeched. I was angry, horrified and belittled. "Well, what do you want me to say?" He was amused now. "Being a girl is a wonderful thing." I declared. "Is that so? Care to share?" He said. "Well, I am a girl and I can do everything that boys can do. I excel in sports; I am topper in my class. I sing and I dance." I continued. "I can beat up any boy in my class." I was confident now. "And you know what, On top of all that, all that you said. So, I am good, awesome and one of a kind" Now I was very happy. Dad looked at me gently "Yes talli", he said "that you are. You already know this, never doubt yourself."
"Now why my angel had to wonder about her?" He insisted. "Well, sometimes I wonder daddy. Mamma always says that, I don't behave like a girl. Girls have to cook, clean and she had a big list of do's and don'ts for girls. Anna doesn't have any of that lists. She says for girls only." I pouted. Dad sighed. "Talli, you have to understand Mamma. She is my mother. She belongs to an older generation where woman took care of household and had almost always raised the kids single handedly because men were struggling to feed their families. You see, women by nature are great managers. They can guide while working hard and setting example by actions. They are great at multi-tasking. They can love and discipline at the same time. Women have achieved a lot more philosophically and spiritually than most men." He explained. "Daddy , You love your Mom very much don't you?" he tapped on my head gently and said "Yes talli. She worked very hard to bring us up. You see, I lost my dad when I was 6yrs old. And she was all alone with my grandfather who was old. But, she managed to send us to school and gave us the security and comfort we needed." I suddenly grew great respect for my grandma.
Something was still not clear in my head. "Daddy, do you think Amma is less than you?" I asked hesitantly "Because sometimes you get upset with her. Amma doesn't say anything. She smiles and goes inside and gets you coffee." I put my powers of observation to good use. Dad was a bit surprised and a bit taken aback. He ran his fingers quickly through his hair. "Well that's because she knows me very well and she knows sometimes I bring the office pressure home. She can sense it right away. She also knows how to calm me down." He smiled. He continued "she takes care of both my angels and my mother. And she does this with great enthusiasm and a beautiful smile on her face." His smile now broadened. "You love Amma very much too. Don't you daddy?" I asked. Daddy started laughing loudly and said "Yes, I do" he said. "Since your interrogation is done now, can we talk about the book you are reading?" I smiled. "Oh! You mean Chandamama. Nothing much. A story about a princess and a prince." I answered. Power came back. Amma was calling "Nupur, come to dinner." "Chalo" said Daddy. I was still pondering about what my dad said, how much he respected the women in his life, how much they influenced him, how they became a support for him and how wonderfully he explained that to me. "Daddy!" I said rather quickly, "When I grow up I want to marry someone just like you." I proclaimed.
Now, Daddy was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes. I became shy and hid my face on his chest. "Bangaru talli, I will absolutely look for a boy like that when you grow up. May be bit better, you know who is also a prince. Now can we go to dinner?" I still hid my face and nodded yes. He picked me up and carried me to dining room. My head lying on his shoulder, I hugged him around his neck. I felt very peaceful and happy knowing that my dad loves me very much. I became very confident of myself and hopeful that I will find my future partner who would respect me and love me just like my daddy. We had dinner and daddy put me to bed. "Now close your eyes." He said. I did. He was lying by my side and I loved the warmth of my dad. I tried to fall asleep. Thoughts were racing in my head. Amma walked in "did she sleep?" asked Daddy. "I think so" he answered. "What were you two talking about?" She asked, "Everything alright?" She had a concern in her voice. I heard Daddy chuckle. "She is only 6 years old, but the things she talks about, amaze me. She is going to be a challenge. I think I am going to love talking to her. She is such a dreamer and thinker. I love her spirit and frankness. She is not afraid of taking life by its horns. God help the boy who will end up marrying her." (Although I wondered what it meant) I didn't hear Amma say anything. I know Amma, she must have shook her head sideways, disapproving. I fell asleep and dreamt about all the wonderful things in the world. And by the way, it included my future prince charming, very little did I know that future can't be only dreamt, but has to be built. Then again that's for another day.
AJ.
PS: I am from South India so you will need the list below to decipher the language😆
Amma- Mom
Daddy-- Day
Mamma-- Paternal grandmother
Anna-- Brother
Akka-- Sister
Chandamama-- A monthly kids magazine.
AJ
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
