The one part of our souls that belonged to our dad, the one corner of our hearts that he was a resident of; will always hurt, will always be empty, there will always be a void there, an aching feeling, and it'll bleed forever.
Just try to comprehend my pain; my family's suffering. All I know is that Ela Gujral is somehow responsible for my father's death, and we're going to make her pay for it big time, by hook or by crook. What do they call right, what do they call wrong? What was that we were taught long ago? What is right, what is wrong generally have ceased to matter to us; it's not my right, and it is not my wrong anymore. All I could see is my dad's still figure, his ashes, and my mom's motionless silhouette; not quite recovering from what she has had to bear. How do I think rationally? How do I follow the principles I've so fiercely believed in all my life? How do I follow the rules I'm supposed to follow in the jungle this world is? How do I think, really think when every time I try to do it my dad's lifeless form, my mom's tortured face haunt me? Can someone tell me.
There's blackness, darkness, anger, pain, fire, and blood all around; All I could see is these things, all I could hear is the chant of revenge in my mind..Everything is bleak, everything is dark, nothing helps, nothing seems right. There is no light, no justice, no hope, no love; just madness, only revenge, and the justice which is yet to be served..
And then there's Damini Gujral...Oh, I hate her for being Ela Gujral's daughter, why couldn't she be anyone else but that; anyone, anything in the world except for that? I want her to suffer badly so that Ela Gujral suffers, I want her heart to bleed so that it'll stain her mother's soul, and that will avenge my father's death and the injustice he had to bear because of that woman.. But why doesn't her suffering make me happy? Why doesn't her pain satisfy me like I wanted it to..Oh, why can't she just get lost? Why am I thinking about her anyway? She is messing up with my mind, my plans, my life, my duty, and a corner of my soul. Oh, how I hate her!! How I want to hurt her, or do I? Nothing makes sense to me, everything is twisted, and everything is gone..
I don't like to see her in pain,
But her mom was the reason my dad died, she is the source of my family's suffering,
Just now I wanted to bring a smile to her face, to save her from that disgusting fiance of hers, to save her from the big bad world out there and to take her to a safe haven,
Oh, noooo. I did that because breaking her engagement and seeing her suffer would give me sadistic pleasure; it'll ease the pain, my pain, and my family's suffering,
And who'll bring the smile on my brothers' face back?
Oh, why do I like the feeling of comforting her, sharing her suffering, getting lost in her eyes?
I do feel something for her alright!!
No, I don't. I m only out to seek revenge,
She is a Gujral after all..
And everybody else can just see it, my family and I are living this pain, this moment, this loss
And I hate myself for saying this, feeling any sympathy towards Damini.
And no, I am not falling for her at all..No, I'm not..No, no, no..Never...
Feel for me? Understand me? Empathize with me?
Hate me? Dislike me? Don't get my perspective? Don't understand my silences? Neither my words?
- Prithvi Saxena..
Note: I am not trying to justify what Prithvi is doing at all, not even in my wildest dreams, because I believe his idea of revenge is wrong, and he is REALLY wrong for trying to make Damini fall for him, I detest even this very thought. What I am doing here is just trying to understand and analyze his character's POV, where he is coming from and his current state of mind; what he felt from the moment he saw Damini stand there and cry to the moment he lost consciousness for the last time in the car. Now that I have said bye-bye to the shock last episode was and the disappointment which resulted from seeing Prithvi's character reacting in a way which was so uncharacteristic of him, it's a bit easier to read Prithvi's mind and what the death of his dad did to him. All we know is Ela might be innocent, but does Prithvi have an idea? Extreme emotions and reactions may have a person turn a blind eye to logic and reason; that's what their loss is doing to Priths and his brothers. Maybe the show failed as far as making us feel the brothers pain is concerned, and making us see where they're coming from; and maybe I felt all these things, thought all this because I'm too much in love with Prith's character for my own good, 😳 but currently I can't help it.😳
And sorry to bore you again with the long post, 😳 I had to let the voices in my mind have their say, had to try to empathize with our prince, yours and mine. 😊😳 He's a human being after all, who has suffered a great great loss. And though I might not agree to everything he says or does, I can try to identify with his thoughts and actions, can try to feel what he is feeling..