Hey guys… …
Smitha PMed me the synopsis of a play by Tagore named 'Chitrangada' inspired by a story of Arjuna from Mahabharata. I really liked it so here is the SS…since I am writing a period story I thought why not make it modern but it was hopeless, I cringed when I read a part of it, I deleted after writing half the story…so I am sticking to the period drama…it's just not a love story but a more insightful story, if you can understand and I loved the way Tagore projects his women…Kuddos!!
Time period: 60-240 CE.
ENJOY!!!!
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the Agony of Love… …
The king of the reigning Kushana Empire looked tense…he had performed the Ashvamedha Yagna, its objective was the safety of power and glory of the brave Kushanas, to maintain the sovereignty over neighboring provinces, and general prosperity of the kingdom. A stallion is more than 24, but less than 100 years old must be sacrificed. The horse is sprinkled with water, and the Adhvaryu and the sacrificer whisper mantras into its ear. Anyone who should stop the horse is ritually cursed, and a dog is killed symbolic of the punishment for the sinners. The horse is then set loose towards the North-East, to roam around wherever it chooses, for the period of one year. The horse is associated with the Sun, and its yearly course. If the horse wanders into neighboring provinces hostile to the sacrificer, they must be subjugated. The wandering horse is attended by a hundred young men, high court officials, charged with guarding the horse from all dangers and inconvenience. After the return of the horse, more ceremonies were to be performed.
But now the horse in its reckless wildness had strayed somewhere missing the group of army protecting it. According to the royal priest, it was a bad omen, if the horse was not brought back in time, the Yagna may yield negative results.
He paced the length of his courtroom aimlessly… …
"Father...you summoned me…" a deep voice distracted his worried thoughts…
"Yes, son…as you know the horse has gone missing, and you have to bring it back son…" he said desperately… …
"Your word is an order for me father…I will get the horse at the earliest… "Jayendra said…proudly…
"Oh! Jay…bless you with victory my child…" the king cried out…after all his son was the courageous fighter, earning a reputation of the best shooter…
Jay bowed in front of his father, ready to leave for the expedition…according to the hurt soldiers the horse was last seen near the banks of River Brahmaputra, North-East. He got ready for his departure… …
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"Bhairava… bhairava…" the crowd cheered as the swords clashed in a fierce battle…the arena was surrounded by men, women and children of the small, secluded kingdom of Tamralipta, a peninsular town located on the banks of the Rupnarayan River in the east, bounded from three sides, with river Subarnarekha in the west and the Bay of Bengal in the south. The city's name derived from the Sanskrit word, "Tamra Lipta" which means "Full of Copper"…And its residents main profession was copper extraction and tool-making, ruled by King Gangadhara a descendant of the King Tamradhwaja (which means The King with Copper Flag/Symbol) of the Mayura-Dhwaja (Peacock) dynasty… …
The king, who was seated at the throne, watched with anticipating interest, without even blinking an eye-lid. The match was very close and tough…with two equally skilled swordsmen testing their mettle and perseverance to fight endlessly…a swordsman from the neighboring kingdom had come with a challenge that he was unbeatable…the king hasped at the sight in front of him…
The mob stood up in uproar as the gigantic sturdy man fell on his knees, panting heavily, clutching his sword…gathering his breath he got up, wobbling slightly…he blinked his eyes and before he could register anything a cloud of dust formed in front of his eyes and the sword fell from his hand, ending the fight, declaring him the looser, he fell on the soil, exhausted, accepting defeat… …
"Bhairava…" the crowd clapped gleefully…
The warrior who fought the challenging swordsman stood tall and proud…removing the turban, the warrior revealed the true form… …She was a young woman, she smiled acknowledging the crowd, then turning to the smiling king, she bowed her head in reverence…the king raised his hand, blessing her…
She smiled…and walked inside, removing her armor…while the people kept on chanting 'Bhairava - the fearless…" yes, it was a name given by the people to their protector, Bani, the only daughter of King Gangadhar, and the future heir to Tamralipta… …
Bani was the only child of Gangadhar, after bani's birth, soon his wife had died out of incurable illness, and Gangadhar never married again…for him bani was his son and daughter both…He invested his time and energy in training bani in statecraft, archery, and warfare. To make her equivalent of a son and more than that was his only aim, to be able to give his kingdom and the people of the kingdom an able 'protector' was his goal which he had successfully achieved. Since young bani was a hyper-active child, restless and curious by nature…she found great excitement in learning fist-fight, using bow and arrow, shooting with draggers was her pass-time, swimming across rivers with impeccable speed, she learnt every possible art with enthusiasm and zest, her valor and valiance were famous in the kingdom and people looked up to, and children sang her heroic endeavors as stories and plays… …
Bani climbed her horse, and rode past the streets of the mall kingdom, as people came onto the streets watching their favorite warrior princess with awe… …
The gatekeepers did their formal salute as bani entered the palace, trotting on her horse…her widowed aunt, scrunched her nose as she saw bani enter, bathed in dust from head to toe, tanned in bronze…
"Hey Lord…this girl…" she screamed dramatically…
"Now what...another fight…" she said with her hands resting on her hips…bani simply smiled and shrugged her shoulders, sprinting towards her room…
"You are a girl bani…a girl…" she shouted from behind…but it fell on deaf ears, bani was already inside her room… …the old lady shook her head, all thanks to her brother bani had almost become a man, except for the physical dimorphism, she was a man, possessed all qualities of a man, walking, talking, eating with the roughness and carelessness of a man, and moreover she dressed like a man, in a tight-fitted pleated pants with long tops wound around her slim body, her long hair held tightly in a bun under a turban…
Bani scrubbed her skin hard…dipping in the pool of water…it was refreshing, after a long's fight, a warm bath was just perfect for her aching muscles, the swordsman had given her a tough fight…but nobody was born to match her wrist movements except maybe… coming out of the pool, she quickly rubbed herself dry, taking out a fresh set of clothes, she changed, there was an urgent matter about the security of Tamralipta to be discussed with her father…being surrounded by water form three sides, it was a very guarded area but other kingdoms of Java and Sumatra were invading in by water-routes… …
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It had been a over two months since he left his kingdom and there was no sign of the horse…he had almost reached the north-eastern part of the country, in the middle of an abundant green forest but the horse was still not found…the horse neighed weakly…jai got down his horse, trying to search for any water body and something to eat…the journey he had undertaken had become more treacherous…he heard the gushing sound of water…there must be a river flowing nearby, he thought, quickly pulling the horse by its reins in the direction of the sound…
Jai drank the fresh water hungrily, finding a few fruits hanging low to the tress, he fed the horse and ate himself, feeling lethargic and tired he decide to lay down and continue his odyssey after a considerable rest…finding a dry patch of land he lay down, the horse settled behind him, tied to a tree trunk…his eyelids drooped…
Bani roved alone to the forest on the bank of the Rupnarayan River. Tying her horse to a tree she entered a dense thicket on the track of a deer holding her bow and arrow in position she tried to locate any sound made by the deer. She found a narrow sinuous path meandering through the dusk of the entangled boughs, the foliage vibrated with the chirping of crickets, a deep breathing sound reached her ears, mistaking it to be the deer bani charged ahead, stretching the string of the bow, she was about to release the arrow when she stopped when of a sudden she saw her prey, it wasn't the deer but a man snoring in deep sleep lying on a bed of dried leaves, across her path. With a the disturbing movement around him, jai opened his eyes to find a young boy standing in front of him holding a bow…he swiftly got, taking hold of his own bow to counter-attack…
"Move aside…I missed my deer…" bani asked him haughtily, but he heeded not. Then with the sharp end of her bow I pricked him in contempt. Instantly he leapt up with straight, tall limbs, like a sudden tongue of fire from a heap of ashes. An amused smile flickered round the corners of his mouth, at the sight of her boyish countenance and dismissed her cavalierly…muttering something…Bani for the first time in her life felt nervous and tongue-tied, she felt her bosom rise and acknowledged that a man was standing before her… …
"Who are you?" with fear and wonder she asked him…
"You don't seem to belong to this place…" she enquired in a hoarse voice…
"I am Jay…Jayendra…" he said quite pompously… …
"Jayendra of the great Kushana clan…" she thought to herself. She stood petrified like a statue, and forgot to do him obeisance. Was this indeed Jay, the one great idol of her dreams? Many a day her young ambition had spurred her on to break her lance with him, to challenge him in disguise to single combat, and prove her skill in arms against him. When she was young, she had heard his heroic stories of shooting, how he was proclaimed as the best warrior born ever. It was he Jayendra, standing in front of her. She bit her lip…Ah, foolish heart, whither fled my presumption? Could I but exchange my youth with all its aspirations for the clod of earth under his feet, I should deem it a most precious grace…she thought with regret…
She was lost in the whirlpool of her wandering thoughts, when suddenly she saw him vanish through the trees…Oh foolish woman, neither did you greet him, nor speak a word, nor beg forgiveness, but stood like a barbarian boor while he contemptuously walked away…she cursed herself and her dim-witness… crestfallen she decided to return back with a mere hope to find him the next morning… …
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Bani couldn't sleep the entire night…thinking of Jay…and late at night when she fell into a slumber she dreamt that jay was showering her with accolades for her fine display of her skills… she got up with a start…she had to find him…
Next morning Bani got up earlier than usual…rummaging her clothes she finally found what she was looking for. She laid aside my man's clothing. She donned bracelets, anklets, waist-chain, and a gown of purple red silk. The unaccustomed dress clung about her shrinking shame; but she hastened on her quest to find jay…maybe this way he would listen to her… …she giggled as she thought of her aunt who would have be ecstatic to find her doll up as a typical girl…
She slowly slipped out from the palace; she lifted her gown, sitting on the horse back, she rode away in search of Jay…
It was still the wee hours of the morning so he must be resting somewhere…from the mark they met yesterday she traversed ahead… she was losing hope when she encountered footsteps of the horse on the forest soil…she followed them and reached a broken structure of stones, there jay was studying the map in deep concentration…
Bani slowly…neared him, taking out some fruits and wine she placed it near him on the stone platform… jay looked up startled by the presence of a stranger…he cranked his head and remembered the face instantly, it the boy who he met yesterday…he corrected himself, she wasn't a boy but a girl…the observation surprised him…
"You…" he exclaimed…
"I…I have heard of you...the great warrior of Kushana…I wish to…" before bani could complete her sentence jay spoke up…
"Look lady…I am here on a religious mission, my father had performed an Ashvamedha Yagna and I am in search of the horse…I…I can't be your husband…" he ended abruptly… …bani looked taken aback, this was certainly not what she was about to express…but still those words hurt her. Shame fell on her like a thunderbolt.
She ran away, alighting her horse, she rode away…she realized so like a man she was. His last words as she walked home pricked her ears like red hot needles.
Bani reached her chamber angry and pained by the ungracious presumption of the greatest warrior whom she idolized. In a fit of mad rage broke my bow in two and burnt her arrows in the fire…stomping away to a corner she sat huddled…for the first time ever in her life she hated her strong, lithe arms, scored by drawing the bowstring, her manlike strength; for once she wanted to possess the power of the weak and the weapon of the unarmed hand… …she wanted to be a woman for the first time… …
Standing up she stripped her clothes, naked, she scrutinized her reflection in the glass mirror… she had never felt being a woman except when she had her periods, her aunt used to lock her up in the room, not allowing her to go outside, because she was scared that she would again indulge in a fist-fight with the street rowdies…she hated those three-four days, she felt sticky and clumsy and had even accused god of making her a girl and not a boy…but today form where did the hidden, almost lost girl inside her awakened… …
She raised her hands to caress her breasts; they were pressed and pert…she felt their weight on her chest…her fingers counted her taut oblique muscles, she groaned in denial…she quickly gathered her usual clothes and donned them…
Who could possibly help her retain her feminism? An idea clicked her…Vasanta, the ganiga (Sanskrit-courtesan)…the royal courtesan; she was a beautiful dancer who charmed men by her dancing and mesmerizing moves…smiling she ran out of her room…
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Vasanta burst into a fit of laughter…
"This place has only witnesses men my dear…it's strange that a girl wants my help…" she said running her fingers though her wet hair, disentangling the knots formed…bani observed she sat with poise and a grace…she could never imagine herself sitting like that.
"I…I am Bani… the daughter of the kingly house of Tamralipta…" bani stammered…
"Oh!! The great Bhairava…I am honored to meet you, whose courage is an example…" vasanta got up bowing her head slightly… …
"I desire a man…" bani said without the slightest of shyness…which caused Vasanta to giggle again…
"You are something princess…come sit…" she lead to the seating area and dismissed her workers who were decorating the court…
"Tell me…" vasanta urged her…
"I am son to my father; he has taught me the use of the bow and all the duties of a king. Yes, that is why I am dressed in man's attire and have left the seclusion of a woman's chamber. I know no feminine wiles for winning hearts. My hands are strong to bend the bow, but I have never learnt the play of eyes…
"That requires no schooling, fair lady. The eye does its work untaught, and he knows how well, who is struck in the heart… …" vasanta said mysteriously…
"Had I but the time needed, I could win his heart by slow degrees, and ask no help from you. I would stand by his side as a comrade, drive the fierce horses of his war-chariot, attend him in the pleasures of the chase, keep guard at night at the entrance of his tent, and help him in all the great duties of Kshatriya, rescuing the weak, and meting out justice where it is due. Surely at last the day would have come for him to look at me and wonder, "What boy is this? Has one of my slaves in a former life followed me like my good deeds into this?" I am not the woman who nourishes her despair in lonely silence, feeding it with nightly tears and covering it with the daily patient smile, a widow from her birth. The flower of my desire shall never drop into the dust before it has ripened to fruit. But it is the labor of a lifetime to make one's true self known and honored. Therefore I have come to your door, take me from my young body this primal injustice, an unattractive plainness. For a single day make me superbly beautiful, even as beautiful as was the sudden blooming of love in my heart. Give me but one brief day of perfect beauty… …"
"Hmmm…I promise by tomorrow evening you will be just the angel princess you wish to…but…on one condition…" vasanta said after a deep, insightful thought…
"What, I will grant any wish…"
"You will have to return to your old roughish form…after a period of time…"
"Yes…"
"Think princess…you will lose your love…"
"I don't want to possess my love, then why fear of losing it…"
"Great princess…come…and mind you…you won't say anything while I do my duty…"
Bani nodded her head, too thrilled at the thought of finally having the feel of a woman…
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Bani stiffed as she was plastered with various scented pastes and rubbed with fragrant oils…her hair was being nourished…vasanta was showing her the delicacy of a woman, how a woman should speak, softly, walk in slow, resting steps, how to use the feminine charms to seduce a man… …bani watched vasanta awestruck as she taught her the tricks of female sensuality…
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Jai meandered around the stream of Subarnarekha…still there was no sight of the horse…time was elapsing and if he failed in getting back the horse, a bad omen will befall the great Kushana Kingdom…and moreover he can't let his honor and pride be questioned…walking in slow steps he was about to turn about when his eyes registered a shining beauty… …
Was he dreaming or was what he saw by the lake truly there…Sitting on the mossy turf, when slowly there came out from the folding darkness of foliage an apparition of beauty in the perfect form of a woman, and stood on a white slab of stone at the water's brink. It seemed that the heart of the earth must heave in joy under her bare white feet. He thought the vague veiling of her body should melt in ecstasy into air as the golden mist of dawn melts from off the snowy peak of the eastern hill. She bowed herself above the shining mirror of the lake and saw the reflection of her face. She started up in awe and stood still; then smiled, and with a careless sweep of her left arm unloosed her hair and let it trail on the earth at her feet. She bared her bosom and looked at her arms, so flawlessly modeled, and instinct with exquisite caress. Bending her head she saw the sweet blossoming of her youth and the tender bloom and blush of her skin. She beamed with a glad surprise. So, of the white lotus bud on opening her eyes in the morning were to arch her neck and see her shadow in the water, would she wonder at herself the livelong day. But a moment after the smile passed from her face and a shade of sadness crept into her eyes. She bound up her tresses, drew her veil over her arms, and sighing slowly, walked away like a beauteous evening fading into the night. To him the supreme fulfillment of desire seemed to have been revealed in a flash and then to have vanished. . . .
Jai hurried following the gorgeous beauty he was lucky enough to witness with naked eyes…
Bani walked through the woods…hearing heavy footsteps behind her, so he was following her…she smiled to herself…walking leisurely…as if she had infinite time…
"What stern vow keeps you immured in this solitary forest, depriving all mortals of a vision of so much loveliness?" he asked stopping her in her tracks…bani turned to face him, with a genial smile…baiting her eye-lashes…
"I have no one, the forest is my mother…" she said…effervescently… …
It was impossible to face that fervent gaze that almost grasped her like clutching hands of the hungry spirit within; to feel his heart struggling to break its bounds urging its passionate cry through the entire body -- and then to send him away like a beggar - no, impossible…but she had to do it, it was the rule of love… …
"I shall now leave…" she said softly…
"Will you come tomorrow…to the lake…"
"What intention do you hide, to meet me again…stranger…?" she said, her doe-shaped eyes brightening in seeking the response… …
"I mean no harm…I am a Kshatriya, the prince of Kushana…"
"Oh!!! The brave prince…accept my salutation…" she did her customary greeting…
"Good bye for now…" she waved at him, before turning to walk away…
"What is your name beautiful lady…?" he asked from behind…
"Whatever name you wish to give me…is my name prince…" she turned back, her tinkling laughter filled his ears…he gazed in amazement as she fled… …
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"Everything seems to me a dream… You alone are perfect; you are the wealth of the world, the end of all poverty, the goal of all efforts, the one woman! Other there are who can be but slowly known. While to see you for a moment is to see perfect completeness once and forever…" jai uttered as he made an attempt to hold her wrist, but she was fast enough to escape his approaching grip… …
"Hey…" he called out to her but she sprinted around the creeper…
"Alas, it is not I, not I, Prince! It is the deceit of a god…" she spoke up playfully…
"Yes, you are Maya…the greatest illusion…I name you Maya…" he said as he grabbed he arm, pulling her closer to himself…
"What have you seen in me that makes you my slave? Whom do you seek in these dark eyes, in these milk-white arms, if you are ready to pay for her the price of your probity? Not my true self, I know. Surely this cannot be love; this is not man's highest homage to woman! Alas, that this frail disguise, the body, should make one blind to the light of the deathless spirit!!!" she said angrily…pursing her lips…he laughed at her childish anger…he brought his face closer to hers…inhaling her intoxicating scent deeply…
The southern breeze caressed them. From the flowering Malati bower overhead silent flower-buds dropped over their bodies. Each flower chose a bed to die on the soil. The moon had moved to the west, peering through the leaves to espy this wonder of divine art wrought in a fragile human frame. The air was heavy with perfume; the silence of the night was vocal with the chirping of crickets; the reflections of the trees hung motionless in the lake. It seemed to her that she had, on opening her eyes, died to all realities of life and undergone a dream birth into a shadow land. Shame slipped to her feet like loosened clothes…
"Beloved, my most beloved!" he called, his fanning breath hovering over her lips, sending electric jolts through her entire body… And all her forgotten lives united as one and responded to it… …
"Take me, take all I am!" she whispered and snaked her arms around him… …
Her toes curled sinking in the soft grassy bed strewn with the petals of the shed flowers…she felt like a flower, which has but a few fleeting hours to listen to all the humming flatteries and whispered murmurs of the woodlands and then must lower its eyes from the sky, bend its head and at a breath give itself up to the dust without a cry, thus ending the short story of a perfect moment that has neither past nor future… …
"You are a marvel Maya…" he hushed, entering her, he soughed a pleasurable utterance as his flesh became the victim of her digging nails…artistically designing their carvings over his warrior body which only knew the razor edge of a sword but was unaware of this bliss…the exaltation traversed them into a different world as their bodies merged and moved in unison… …
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The moon set behind the trees. One curtain of darkness covered all. Heaven and earth, time and space, pleasure and pain, death and life merged together in an unbearable ecstasy. . . . With the first gleam of light, the first twitter of birds, she rose up and sat leaning on her left arm. He lay asleep with a vague smile about his lips like the crescent moon in the morning. The rosy red glow of the dawn fell upon his noble forehead. She sighed and stood up. She drew together the leafy lianas to screen the streaming sun from his face. She looked about and saw the same old earth. Bani stood still for a second, remembering what she used to be, and ran and ran like a deer afraid of her own shadow, through the forest path strewn with shephali flowers. She found a lonely nook, and sitting down covered her face with both hands, and tried to weep and cry. But no tears came to her eyes… …
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"Why do you watch me like that, my warrior?" bani said as she gathered her discarded clothes, to cover herself, meanwhile observing his piercing gaze over her…
"I am watching you and thinking…" jay said pulling away those robes, enclosing her between his legs…
"What are you thinking?" she pressed herself against him…
"I am thinking that you, with this same lightness of touch and sweetness, are weaving my days of exile into an immortal wreath…"
"Any love which distracts the man from his duties isn't pious my lord…"
"Come home with me and make my life a heaven…"
"Home! But this love is not for a home…" she said startled, trying to release form his grip, but he held her tight… …
"Why?? I would marry you…" he said firmly…bani's heart-beat quickened…
"No. Never talk of that. Take to your home what is abiding and strong. Leave the little wild flower where it was born; leave it beautifully to die at the day's end among all fading blossoms and decaying leaves. Do not take it to your palace hall to fling it on the stony floor which knows no pity for things that fade and are forgotten" she replied heartlessly… …
"Is ours that kind of love?" he asked hurt…
"Yes, no other! Why regret it? That which was meant for idle days should never outlive them. Joy turns into pain when the door by which it should depart is shut against it. Take it and keep it as long as it lasts. Let not the satiety of your evening claim more than the desire of your morning could earn. . . .The day is done… now… let words die and actions speak…" she leaned forward kissing his lips…
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Bani sat in the dark confines of her room, contemplating her action, to everyone she had told that she was going on a trip but at night secretly returned to her room…The rarest completion of her life's desire, the first union of love was proffered to her, but was wrested from her grasp? This borrowed beauty, this falsehood identity that enwrapped her, would slip from her taking with it the only monument of that sweet union, as the petals fall from an overblown flower; and the woman ashamed of her naked poverty will sit weeping day and night. This cursed appearance companioned her like a demon robbing her of all the prizes of love - all the kisses for which her heart was athirst… The barque of joy came in sight, but the waves would not let it touch the shore…Jay loved her; he loved Maya not bani…she was the greatest illusion as he pointed out… … She felt guilty for betraying the man she admired and had grown to love, but her greed to be with him, drove away any surviving guilt…she was too possessed by his maddening craze that every time she thought of revealing the truth before him, she reminisced his warm lips over her aching skin, and she would yearn for him again… …
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Jai sat gloomily, upset over the disapproval of Maya to marry him…why did she reject his proposal, any girl would be happy to be his bride, the future queen…but why did she reject… …his gloominess vanished the moment he felt her hug him from behind…
"The weather is so beautiful…" she said…
"Hmm…" he pulled her…masking himself with her lustrous hair… …
The rain poured in torrents and fiercely beat upon the hillside… …
"My love, don't you wish for a home which you would make sweet with your gentle service and love…" he asked again gliding over her drenched body…
"Why these questions? Are the hours of unthinking pleasure over? For me there is no vista beyond. The dew that hangs on the tip of a Kinsuka petal has neither name nor destination. It offers no answer to any question. She whom you love is like that perfect bead of dew…" she fastened her legs around his waist, shivering in the cold rain-pour… …
"Maya…you are a mystery…" he said eyeing her…
"Let me remain so, my prince…" she yelped as entered her…
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A secret informer handed her a parchment… taking it bani read the contents in her mind… it was a message from Vasanta reminding her that the stipulated period was coming to an end and that she should dethatch from her love and return back to her role of the protector of the kingdom… Yes, she recollected her promise… …
The morning sun was not visible, hiding behind the clouds. The dark shadow of the clouds hung heavily over the forest, and the swollen stream, like reckless youth, overleaps all barriers with mocking laughter…he would have to reach the village Maya had mentioned, he might just find the horse there…all these weeks he was so smitten by the enchanting beauty of Maya that he derailed from his ambition… …
Jai entered the small village; it was a small but very well-organized village, with houses built one row and the other row filled with shops…he enquired a few people about the coming of a horse, some were clueless while some testified that they saw a horse similar to his description…
"Who will protect us now?" one of a villager exclaimed…
"Why, by what dangers are you threatened?" jay asked out of curiosity…
"The robbers are pouring from the northern hills like a mountain flood to devastate our village…"
"Have you in this kingdom no warden?"
"Princess Bani was the terror of all evil doers. While she was in this happy land we feared natural deaths, but had no other fears. Now she has gone on a pilgrimage, and none knows where to find her…"
"Is the warden of this country a woman?" jay asked astonished…
"Yes, she is our father and mother in one" the villager declared proudly… …
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Bani tugged the jasmines into her hair…this was her last day of experiencing love; she would have to take back her responsibilities after this…she sighed deeply… covering herself properly she left, by her secret route, a tunnel from her room…she had got it built years ago, for any emergency, and nobody was aware of it, and now she was using this route as her escape… …
"Why are you are you so lost???" bani asked as she saw him, removing the shawl…
"I am trying to imagine what kind of woman Princess Bani may be. I hear so many stories of her from all sorts of men…" he said still in a trance… …bani looked nervous, twitching her fingers…
"Ah, but she is not beautiful. She knows no charms to steal a heart… she might pierce any target but not my hero's heart…" she said compressing her palm on his heart…
"They say that in valor she is a man and a woman in kindness…"
"That, indeed, is her greatest misfortune. When a woman is merely a woman; when she finds herself round and round men's hearts with her smiles and sobs and services and caressing endearments; then she is happy. Of what use to her are learning and great achievements? You would have passed by her without even to look at her. But have you grown so weary of woman's beauty that you seek in her for a man's strength? Come…forget her…love me…" she caressed his face…
"Not today, beloved…"
"Why not today?"
"I have heard that a horde of robbers has neared the plains. I must go and protect the frightened villagers…"
"You need have no fear of them. Before she started on her pilgrimage, Princess Bani had set strong guards at all the frontier passes…"
"Yet permit me for a short while to set about a Kshatriya's work…"
"What if I refuse to let you go, if I keep you entwined in my arms? Would you rudely snatch yourself free and leave me? Tell me…who occupied your mind today? Is it Bani?
"Yes, it is Bani. I wonder why she has gone on her pilgrimage. Of what could she stand in need?"
"Her needs? Why, what has she ever had, the unfortunate creature? Her very qualities are prison walls, shutting her woman's heart in a bare cell. She is obscured, she is unfulfilled. Her womanly love must content itself dressed in rags; beauty is denied her. She is like the spirit of a cheerless morning, sitting upon the stony mountain peak, all her light blotted out by dark clouds. Do not ask me of her life. It will never sound sweet to man's ear…"
"I am eager to learn all about her. Oh, tell me her story…"
"What more is there to tell?"
"I seem to see her, in my mind's eye, riding on a white horse, proudly holding the reins in her left hand, and in her right a bow, and like the Goddess of Victory dispensing glad hope all round her. Like a watchful lioness she protects the litter at her dugs with a fierce love. Woman's arms, though adorned with naught but unfettered strength, are beautiful!"
"Tell me jay…don't you like me…you seem to be bestowed by Bani…" bani said, in the heart of her hearts she wished that it was true…
"I never seem to know you aright. You seem to me like a goddess hidden within a golden image. Sometimes in the enigmatic depth of your sad look, in your playful words mocking at their own meaning, I gain glimpses of a being trying to rend asunder the languorous grace of her body, to emerge in a chaste fire of pain through a vaporous veil of smiles. Illusion is the first appearance of Truth. She advances toward her lover in disguise. But a time comes when she throws off her ornaments and veils and stands clothed in naked dignity. I grope for that ultimate you, that bare simplicity of truth…" he said ending thoughtfully…
Bani let out a pained shriek, covering her face with her palms, she wept like an infant out of a mother's womb… jay reached her…
"What are these tears for? Why cover your face with your hands? Have I pained you, my dear? Forget what I said. I will be content with the present…" he said hugging her…
"Go my prince…do your duty…you shall know the truth soon…" bani left his embrace and ran away… leaving a bewildered jay behind, he decided to go the village… …
+++++
As feared the robbers hadcome into the village and ransacked the houses…people were shouting for help when their protector came riding…
"Bhairava…" they shouted in union… …
Bani took out her shimmering sword…removing the heads of the robbers…
Jay stood at a distant watching with stupefaction…at a warrior princess…she was truly an inspiration… …
After the robbers were caught by the soldiers bani descended the horse assuring her people that they are safe and secure…she viewed jay standing afar, eagerly looking in her direction…
"Princess Bani…" he called out but she was gone…he couldn't help but follow her…
+++++
Bani sat near the lake…broken…she shivered slightly as the thunder rumbled in the distance. When she was little she used to think it sounded like a herd of wild horses. Today though it just reminded her of being alone…she had always been alone, but today she felt the emptiness of being alone…As the dark storm clouds began gathering overhead she thought of how clouded her mind had become lately…How dark everything around her seemed. The lightening ripping its way through the clouds was like the pains shooting through her heart at even the slightest thought of losing him…but loss was inevitable… …The storm kept marching closer, like soldiers on a mission, nothing could stand in its way. The thunder now so loud it seemed to vibrate the air around her. Echoing through her head like the thoughts she tried so hard to keep at bay…All of the animals had taken cover now. It was as if they could feel the fury of this uncalled storm. It was as if Mother Nature herself was feeling what she was feeling. Looking for a way to release the pent up fear, anger, helplessness and frustration…her tears began to fall just as the raindrops hit the ground…Slowly building in intensity until there was a constant downpour. A deluge from both her eyes and the sky…It seems to her at that moment that the heavens themselves were crying with her. That someone somewhere understood how she was feeling sharing my emotional storm. The wind began to pick up as the storm grew more severe. Tossing the leaves and branches to and fro…Much like all the thoughts clashing in her mind. Each going their own way, never knowing when or how they would stop…
"You are great warrior Princess Bani…" she heard his deep voice…bani simply got up, walked a distance and cut the rope tying the white neighing horse to the tree trunk… bringing it near jay…
"Your horse prince…" she said, standing like a man, jay was perplexed as she removed the cloth covering her face… …she was Maya… …
"I am not beautifully perfect as the flowers which I used to put in my hair. I have many flaws and blemishes. I am a traveler in the great world-path, my garments are dirty, and my feet are bleeding with thorns. Where should I achieve flower-beauty, the unsullied loveliness of a moment's life? The gift that I proudly bring you is the heart of a woman. Here have all pains and joys gathered, the hopes and fears and shames of a daughter of the dust; here love springs up struggling towards immortal life. Herein lays an imperfection which yet is noble and grand. My master, accept me as your servant for the days to come! I am Bani, the king's daughter, brought up as a boy. Perhaps you will remember the day when a woman came to you, her body loaded with ornaments and finery. That shameless woman came to court you though she was like a man. You rejected her; you did well. My lord, I am that woman. She was my disguise. Then I deceived you by learning the feminine tricks, as I didn't know any. Most surely I am not that woman, your illusion…Maya… I am Bani. No goddess to be worshipped, nor yet the object of common pity to be brushed aside like a moth with indifference. If you wish to keep me by your side in the path of danger and daring, if you allow me to share the great duties of your life, then you will know my true self. Today I can only offer you Bani, the daughter of a king…
Jay looked shocked…a still silence fell upon… he smiled genuinely…
"Beloved, my life is full…you are truly God's illusion…Maya…and I want you for life and ages to come… …"
Bani burst into tears…jay reached out for her, taking her into an embrace as the rain stopped pouring… …
Once again all was right with her world…the agony of love had ended…The storm had nourished the earth, making the sun seem brighter, and the colors of the earth more vibrant… …
+++++
The End… …
God bless
Dhani… …
P.S.: I liked the story so much that I was tempted to read the play. Luckily I got an English translation and I read it. I must say it's a beautiful story, like a poem which flows like a running river… the dialogues between Arjuna and chitrangada were an inspiration and helped me to pen the dialogues between jay and bani. If you get a chance to read the original play, it's stupendous and simply the best play of Tagore. The original is far far better and deserves applause…I don't even stand a chance… …
P.P.S.: I know there are some questions, how did bani get the horse? What did vasanta do to bani? Let's leave them unanswered…and retain their beauty… …
