In her shoes

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Adi

@enigma6

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Posted: 16 years ago

We are all happy that Vidya is coming back . But my question to all the married women here is if today your husband brings home his child with another woman, someone who was conceived after your marriage, meaning your husband had cheated on the sanctity of your marriage, what would you do? lets forget abt. Antara's med. condition, because as of now no one is aware of that except us, the viewers.

If it were me, I would have done probably what Vidya did at first. Left the house. Or better ....thrown him out. Actually accepting the child would be easier for me because she is not at fault. A child needs love and affection to bloom. But I could never have formed a normal relation with my husband again even if the child was sent away. That baby is innocent. Sending her away doesn't change the fact that the husband, however much loving and caring he has been, has slipped and disrespected me in sleeping with another woman, even if it was a one night stand.

Waiting for your views 😊

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Rashida

@rashi77

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Posted: 16 years ago

I agree with you! I would have thrown Adi out and kept Antara because she's inoccent in all of this. This is a tough situation for any married woman. I could also see my father and older brother reacting the same way Vidya's father did.

Edited by rashi77 - 16 years ago

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tunte

@tunte

Inactive

Posted: 16 years ago

I wish no women gets a chance to get into Vidya's shoes. It is a problem either way. Staying with husband who has cheated on me or staying with the kid who will remind me of my husband's betrayal every minute.

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Adi

@enigma6

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Posted: 16 years ago

Thanks for your replies 😊 I do agree that, though Vidya's father is not gelling with us, he is right in his own place. Actually I find her mother a bit weird. I mean I liked that she is matured enough to understand that Adi and Abhi share a special bond which should not be severed because of the turmoil between Adi and Vidya , but her not questioning Adi at all is not ok either. She didn't show her disappointment with him, and that to me is weird.

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tulipbaby53

@tulipbaby53

Trailblazer

+ 2

Posted: 16 years ago

Well, I'm not married, but I probably would have done with Vidhya did and left the house. I would not have thrown him out of the house though because it's his house not mine. Plus, I would feel bad throwing him out with nowhere to go. I would not however make my kid suffer through the pain like Vidhya did with Abhishek. I would still take him to see his dad and maybe after a long time, I might listen to what my husband's full story was, but even then, I still could not really forgive him. I would probably divorce him and let him she the kid every so often, and I would try and be a good mom to his child and explain to my child that this is their new sibling.

Part of me says though, if I were in Vidhya's situation, I'd be angry and mad, but I would not divorce my husband. I would go back for the happiness of my child and for the sake of his child too. I would accept the child as my own and love her the same as my kid. I don't think I'd ever trust my husband again, but I'd go back to him.

The only reason I'd be able to accept another woman's child as my own is because I find that it's not the child's fault. They need love and have just lost their mother. I would want to fill that void in her life as much as possible!

Sorry for writing an essay! 😆 It's just that I have been thinking about this for a long time!

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skeptical

@skeptical

Inactive

Posted: 16 years ago

It's a very difficult situation to be in and a very tragic one too.

If the marriage was full of love and joy as A and V's is shown to be, the shock of betrayal would be ten times worse. The lady would be suffocated with grief because the husband didn't think of their relationship in the same way. At the least opportunity, he wasted away his marriage.

How much would the wife return to the husband?

Firstly she would leave the home out of hurt and a sense of rejection altho none of it is her fault. Once the bitterness and anger dies down, maybe she could view her marriage in a different perscpective. Life is full of compromises, so is compromise with a stray (once) husband on the agenda?

I think it's the maturity and patience on part of the woman that will ultimately tell her whether she should go back to her husband. This she will do only if she has seen genuine repentence on her husband's part and the will to stay true to her in future.

Returning to the husband just for the sake of the children will not necessarily bring happiness into the household. Only if the husband shows the right attitude and will, should the lady return.

That's my POV

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minioo1

@minioo1

Voyager

Posted: 16 years ago

i totally agree.....

i m not yet married....... but if i was in vidya's place i would hav def thrown him out and have never accepted him again... and most likely i would keep the child coz she is innocent but i might hav rejected her coz of public and or she might hav reminded me of his betrayal
but i m still unsure which one would hav won public, innocence or betrayal

and yes if he really luved me and still betrayed me then it shows that all his affections were just a drama and just another show and he just used me

Edited by minioo1 - 16 years ago

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Sunara

@princessunara

Trailblazer

+ 8

Posted: 16 years ago

well im also not married..but here is my pov..if this situation occurs..i'd probably do exactly what vidya initially did..but my next course of action will depend on whether i have a child with my husband or not..if we dont have a baby i'd definitely divorce him n try to move on..whether it breaks me or not there would be no other decision..cz no matter what i wouldnt be able 2 forget nor forgive wt he did..and also i know for a fact that my dad n brother would be furious enuf 2 kill him..so i say here vidya's dad is correct at his own place..
but if a child of my own was involved i know i'd return home to my husband...i will not let my own child suffer for wt my husband did..and i dont know whether i'll ever forgive my husband or not..but initially i'd try to be civil for the sake of my child n try my best 2 not to let him or her feel it..and for the little one who is the result of him cheating on me..i dont think i'll ever blame that baby..as much as it'd take time 4 me to forgive my husband..i'll have no qualms in taking care of the other lil 1 along with my own..n i'll try my best to bring the two children closer cz no matter wt they r siblings..

well her is wt i have always thought..not abt this situation exactly..but i have a feeling that a wife will get over the anger she might feel towards a child who is not her own if its a boy rather than a girl child..simply cz a boy will be wt she sees as her husband n a girl will mostly represent the mother..thus the other woman in her life..as im not married i dnt knw whether ts true..but dats wt i feel..

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