should i marry him though i am not in love?

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lukkhiswami

@lukkhiswami

Beginner

Posted: 16 years ago

I am 23 yrs old and this guy in my class has been in love with me for the past 3 yrs. he proposed to me 3 yrs back when i rejected him but we have been good friends since then because i dint wanna hurt him. now after 3 yrs he asked me for marriage and i still don't feel anything for him. he is a really good friend and everything in his family is perfect. he is financially very mediocre. he really really loves me. i dont have a boyfriend and have never been in a relationship before though i did love someone before but now am over him. what should i do? he keeps asking me about it everyday. i am really flustered by this feeling and feel guilty at times for my behavior. please help me. should i get married to him?

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Noshin

@x.n0sh.x

Dazzler

Posted: 16 years ago

Do you think you can love him??

Would you like to have a love marriage??

You will be living with that person for the rest of your life, so you shouldnt take a decision just so tht the another person doesnt feel bad. Think about yourself.

If the guy is good, from a goof family, financially well and if you think that you can lfall in love with him, then i would advice you to think in the positive direction.

But if you think that he doesnt satisfy your requirements in a man and you woudlnt be happy with him, then hun I would advice you to think very hard about this marriage.

The main thing is to be happy in a relationship. You should be happy, dont do something so that it'll please someone else but not yourself...

Hopefully I helpt you out a bit...

Would love to know your decision =)

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lukkhiswami

@lukkhiswami

Beginner

Posted: 16 years ago

thank you so so much for replying. i feel if i havent fallen for him in 3 yrs it wud be impossible to fall in love now. n u are so right i always do things that make people happy n dont think about myself and then i crib about it later. thanks.

but he keeps telling me that if i anyways am gonna have an arranged marriage it would be better to marry him coz i already know him and with arranged marriages its all a gamble.

so then i feel all pressurised again coz my face is averagely good but my height is just 5 feet. so then i keep feeling what if i never find someone.

am going crazy i keep crying at night.

but thank you so much for your help. it made my mind clear about a lot of things.

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Noshin

@x.n0sh.x

Dazzler

Posted: 16 years ago

Im glad too see that i came in help =)

Tc and make a well decision =)

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NaughtySon

@NaughtySon

Explorer

Posted: 16 years ago

from the tone of your post, it looks like you do not want to marry him, close your eyes and ask yourself YES or NO. Once just once, The answer is most likely to be NO, Follw your mind's advice. thanks.

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lukkhiswami

@lukkhiswami

Beginner

Posted: 16 years ago

ya yr right.. my mind says a direct NO! but its my brain which creates all d trouble.. confuses me.. says wat if wat if.. is it really true dat its better to marry a friend dan some1 unknown? thanks a lot for yr help too.. :)

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What's In A Name?...x

@Robsessed.

Dazzler

Posted: 16 years ago

lisen if yuwh fiink about it maybe u do luv him? if u say yeh and u dun luv him ur creatin truble for yr self cuz by sayin yes 2 marriage and not luvin him wudnt be right. give it a go ask ur mind and close ur eyes, ask ur self 1 las tym if u luv him

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Noshin

@x.n0sh.x

Dazzler

Posted: 16 years ago

Hun, may i knw decision have you made? or are you still confused?

Do you think you can find a guy who will love you and you will love him?

If you are confident abt that, then jst ditch your friend! (=P)

It is true that love grows, most of the people have relationships with people after being friends with them, Maybe marrying your fwen will help you to get to know him and love him.

Yeah you were not able to fall in love with him for 3 years, so why will you love him now?

Well, i think you should do a test. How will you feel if you see him with another women, in the arms of another lady?

If feeling alright, then in my opinion i think search for the right dude. If you do feel jealous, then it means that your starting to have feelings for him ;)

If you wish to do the test, then i would advice you to just not "think" of him with another women, but actually see... dunno how.. but work something out =P

Think hard, its YOUR decision. You will be living with your man for the rest of your life, so think properly....

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lukkhiswami

@lukkhiswami

Beginner

Posted: 16 years ago

thanx babylove.. i will never b happy if i marry him n i wont love him dat much n instead il spoil his life.. i told him d same thing but he says that he wont get married to anyone if not to me.. it gets very irritating.. i think dis is d reason i dont lik to talk to him.. i dont love him.. m sure.. coz i dont miss him.. i thot for 1 last tym.. n my answer was no..its really cheap thinkin.. but i think its more about my living style which does differ from him to quite an extent dat prevents me from takin a step further.. i dont know yaa.. i cant help dat thot from comin to my mind..

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lukkhiswami

@lukkhiswami

Beginner

Posted: 16 years ago

#10

hi nosh.. i did try yr way of working too.. he really liked dis girl in school times so i tried tellin him to b with her it wud be amazing.. but he says he doesnt lik her anymore he doesnt think of her dat way now.. i trie to tel him dat she did love him (which is true) for so long so he shud give her a chance too.. but he doesnt listen to me.. hes a nice guy he told me now he wont repeat himself another tym coz he realised dat it disturbs me.. he said hell wait for me.. till i get married to some1 else.. but til den hell wait for me.. n after dat either he wont get married.. i feel so guilty to behave d way i am behavin.. i keep feelin im going to ruin his life..

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should i marry him though i am not in love?

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