let’s start the new year with some fun - Page 3

very nice topic spiky ...........ok here i go with my joke

As a boy sardar went to school everyday with his dog.
but later they had to seperate and sardar went to school alone why ??


coz the dog graduated 😉 😆

ok spikypriya i'll post jokkes not thoughts! 😉

ok here comes in my joke

A sardar was teachin his children the spellin of assassination

guess how he taught thm this..................

guess.......................

ok this is wht he said


ass ke peeche ass uske peeche i aur uske peeche nation

ass-ass-i-nation......

😆 😆 😆 good topic spiky 😛
heres miiiiiiiiine:
Laloo Prasad Yadav talks to his son to get married
Laloo : I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son : "I want to choose my own bride".
Laloo : "But the girl is Ambani's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case......Yes"
Next Laloo approaches Mukesh Ambani
Laloo : "I have a husband for your daughter."
Ambani : "But my daughter is too young to marry."
Laloo : "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Ambani : "Ah, in that case.....Yes"
Finally Laloo goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Laloo : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President :"But I already have more vice-presidents than I need."
Laloo : "But this young man is Ambani's son-in-law."
President : "Ah, in that case.......Yes."
Now this is how business is done!!
😃 😃 😆

sum cool jokes-


okay heres pappu n his teach talking-

teach: wats d chemical formula for water?
pappu:h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o
teach:wat r u saying
pappu:sir u only said yesterday h to o

.........................................................


teach:pappu go to d map n find n. america
pappu: here it is
teach: correct , now class who found n. america?
class: pappu!!

.........................................................

teach:pappu how do u spell crocodile?
pappu: k r o d i l e
teach:no wrong
papu: maybe irz wrong but u asked me how i spell it
.........................................................

teach: pappu give me a sentence starting wid i
pappu: i is.......
teach: it is i am not i is
pappu: okay i am the ninth letter of d alphabet

.........................................................

teach:can anyone giv me d example of coincidence?#
pappu: sir, my mom n dad got married on d same day same time!

.........................................................

hope u liked dem 😊

thank saniya, well posting sum more-



Deadly PJs....Commit suicide at your own risk...
One


3 + 3 =8
Bataaon Kaise?


Bataaon Bataaon!


Nahi Pata?!!


Are
Galati se!!!!!!!!!!!


Teacher: 'A' for?
Student: Apple !!!
Teacher: Jor se bolo
Student: JAI MATA DI


What's the opposite of "Dominoes"???

think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think
think

tired of thinking???

Well the answer is "Domi doesn't know"


Whats the opposite of "Pizza Hut"


...


....


.....

okei don't kill me "Pizza Hutna math"



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Whats the opposite of Gopalakrishnan?

Comepalakrishnan.


What is the opposite of Subramnium Swamy?

Subramanium Didn't See Me.

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one day a man calls his wife from his IDEA mobile
his call gets cross connected to some other lady.They still keep on talking..they start liking each other..and finally they get married.
what MORAL do u get???
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An IDEA can change your wife.



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how do u place a camel in a fridge in three steps??
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1.open the fridge
2.keep the camel inside it
3.close the fridge
next one
>>
hoe do u place an elephant in the fridge in 4 steps??
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1.open fridge 2.take the camel out
3.place the elephant inside
4.close the door


there was a jungle meeting. all the animals were required to report. all of them turned out, except one. who was it and why??


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.the elephant... u put it in the refridgerator, remember ???


now u have to cross a river which ios inhabited by deadly crocodiles...but any way u have to cross that river ...how will u cross that ?
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it simple ...as all animals are attending the meeting ...so no crocodiles are there..so u can cross easily...

Okay in the jungle meeting where all the animals reported, they were welcomed with gutkha.....only one animal requested for a particular brand. which animal and which brand?


Ans: the animal is giraffe and he opted for "Manikchand" (Unche log unchi pasand !!!)


king lion goes on a search to find elephant
and has absolutely no problem in locatin this camel......y??


becoz our elephant kept his footwear outside the fridge.




suppose u need 2 transport all the things in ur house 4 relocating..suppose u go by aircraft ... it is losing height and pilot asks u throw something away to reduce load...what is the thing u will throw away to reduce the load??
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the elephant in the fridge!!!!!!!!

two persons r talkin by the swimming pool...one says he wont swim bcoz he is afraid of dying bcoz of drowning.....the other one says ....hey dont be afraid..i'll show u how 2 swim and he dives in the pool n starts swimming....
suddenly, the man outside the pool dies...
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guess why????????
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the elephant falls on him.......
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ok enough time pass one final Q

ek haathi agar swimming pool mein gir gaya
to kaise bahar nikalega???????
........
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think
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think....
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geela ho ke nikalega......




ek aadmi marne vala hei to use kya khilaoge ........

sweets nops


sault nopes


think


think


are yaar
birla white cement
kyunki iske ander jaan hei.......


whats difference between a man jumping from 1st floor and a man jumping from 10th floor?
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former goes (hit) aaaaaaaaa
later goes aaaaaaaaa (hit)



Other than being fruits, what is common between an Apple and an Orange?


think......
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socho socho
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the answer is ..........
They Both Are Not a Banana !!


hope u like dem! 😉

If GOD had voice mail


We have all learned to live with 'voice mail' as a necessary part of modern
life. But have you wondered, what if God decided to install voicemail?'

Imagine praying and hearing this:

Hi! Thank you for calling GOD.

Please select one of the following options:

Press 1 for Requests
Press 2 for Thanksgiving
Press 3 for Complaints
Press 4 for All Other Inquiries.
Else wait for our Customer Support Executive.

What if God used the familiar excuse... 'I'm sorry, all of our angels are
busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and will be answered in the order it as received, so please stay on the line.'

Can you imagine getting these kinds of responses as you call God in Prayer:

If you would like to speak to Ganeshji, Press 1.
For Lord Hanuman, Press 2.
For Lord Krishna, Sorry He is on Annual Leave!
For a directory of other God's & Angels, Press 3.
If you would like to hear Narad sing a Bhajan while you are holding, please
press 4.
To find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven, Press 5, enter his
or her PAN number, then press the 0 key. If you get a negative response,
try area code 420 for (Hell).

Our computers show that you have already prayed once today. Please hang up and try again tomorrow. This office is closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday.

Please pray again Monday after 9:30 AM. If you need emergency assistance when this office is closed, contact your local Priest at your neighbourhood Temple.

THANK GOD, HE DOESN'T HAVE VOICE MAIL AND LISTENS WHENEVER WE PRAY!!!!!



😆 hope u like dem

What begins with T, ends with T, and has T in it?
Ans.:Teapot

A word I know, six letters it contains. Subtract just one, and twelve is what remains.
Ans.:Dozens

Tom's mom had four kids: Nickel, Dime, Quarter and what is the fourth?
Ans.:Tom

What is a five letter word which becomes shorter with two letters added onto it?
Ans.:Short

The more you take, the more you leave behind. What are they?
Ans.:Time

What English word starting with 'B' has three consecutive double letters?
Ans.:Bookkeeping

What object has keys that open no locks, space but no room, and you can enter but not go in?
Ans.:Keyboard

There is a plane traveling from New Delhi to Pakistan at 800 KMPH, but unfortunately just as it reaches the border between India and Pakistan, it crashes. Where do they bury the survivors, in India, or in Pakistan?
Ans.:survivors don't get buried, dead people do!!

Standing in an open pasture are a Papa bull and a Baby bull, which member of the family is missing?
Ans.:The correct answer is the cow, there is no such animal as a Mama bull, it's called a cow.


Which is correct: Five and four are eight, or five and four is eight?
Ans.: Five and four equals nine, not eight

How many members of each type of animal did Moses take on the ark?
Ans.:Moses didn't bring any animals onto the ark, it was Noah.

hope u like dem! 😉

😆 good ones sanya ive heard most of them b4 but always enjoyable to read em again 😆 😉
thnx for them they relly good 👏

plzz only two jokes per person wont be able to read all if sumone posts soo many at a time keep them reserved for other weeks 😉 plzz or else wont be counted now on plz avoid postin more then two jokes