SaJan One Shot: Samrat's Confession

"We're on our last scene, Rahul confesses his love for Janvi," called Ms. Tamana from backstage.

Sheena looks at me, flashing a smile, "Ready Samrat? We're going to rock this!"

We both walk onto stage and become one with our characters. In this scene, Janvi [Sheena] dresses to impress Rahul [that would be me] by wearing something she'd never wear before. In reality, however, Sheena always dresses in short clothing, so it's going to be a serious challenge trying to look shocked when I see her in a mini dress.

"Start," Ms. Tamana mouths the words to Sheena and myself. We both nod, and begin.

Sheena enters from behind the curtains, and walks onto the stage. I must admit, she does look rather lovely… but it's not the dress that's got me staring, it's the person wearing it. It's not Sheena that I see, it's… Gunjan.

"It can't be," I think to myself. Gunjan would never wear something like that!

No matter how much I try not to look in her direction, I do anyways. The white silk drapes around her curves, and her hair is put in soft curls that hang below her shoulder. She smiles in my direction, there's no hint of in comfort on her face, no- Infact, she looks rather confident.

I try looking away, but I'm frozen, I'm stoned. She's beautiful.

"Samrat, how do I look?" she asks, walking over to me.

For the first time in my life, I can't say anything. My stomach twists and turns, my palms feel sweaty, and my heart beat speeds up to an abnormal rate. Am I nervous? Samrat never feels nervous, especially near Gunjan!

Gunjan takes a step forward. I can feel her warm breath on my face. I look into her eyes, there's something different about my Chashmish tonight. I take a closer look. "Your glasses," I say, feeling more and more mesmerized by her presence, "you're not wearing them."

She lets out a little laugh. "Glasses?" she asks questioningly.

"You haven't answered my question Samrat," she says, "how do I look tonight?"

Beautiful.

But I can't manage to get the words out of my mouth.

"Is there something you want to tell me Samrat?" she asks, folding her arms.

Yes. No. Yes. No. Why can't I make up my mind? What's wrong with me?

"He'll never admit it Gunjan. Just let him be, you deserve better, you deserve more. Stop wasting your time on him, he's not worth it," says Benji, walking onto the stage and grabbing her arm.

I feel a jolt of confusion. What is Benji doing here? And why is he taking Gunjan away?

"Don't!" I say, "Don't take her away," I sound like I'm pleading.

"Why wouldn't I? You never gave her what she deserved, you always stuck to the 'we're just friends' thing, then why do you care if I take her away today Samrat? You have so many other friends to go back to, I'm sure losing one wouldn't hurt," Benji says.

His words stab my heart. I've never seen Benji so mad before, his expression haunts me, almost like he's expecting me to understand something behind his words, but I can't.

"Please Benji," this time I am pleading.

He stops, letting go of Gunjan, "What ever you have to say, say it now."

He keeps his back turned. Gunjan looks at Benji, and me her angelic features seem to glow as the lights dim out.

We walk towards each other, making sure there's a safe distance between us.

"What am I supposed to say?"

"Whatever is in your heart Samrat," she whispers.

I shut my eyes.

"Listen to your heart," she says.

I listen.

"Now, tell me… what do you hear?"

Gunjan.

"And what do you see?"

Gunjan.

"Your heart is never wrong Samrat, whatever you hear, and whoever you see is something or someone that means a lot to you."

There's a silence that takes over the auditorium.

"Now," she says softly, "answer this, can you live without this person that you're seeing? Can you imagine your life without them?"

I can't imagine my life without Chashmish.

"Would you be able to watch this person walk away with someone else?"

I remember the empty feeling I had inside when Benji walked away with her.

"Would you go to any extent to make this person happy?"

Flashbacks from the talent parade, Valentine's Ball, RJ hunt race through my head. Now when I think about it, I did do all that for… Gunjan.

"Is this someone you'd give up everything for Samrat?"

I would. I'd give up my life for her if I had to.

I open my eyes carefully. The lights are now all dimmed out, and there are candles and rose pedals everywhere.

I can't see anything except her. Gunjan's eyes twinkle in the candlelight, and she looks at me with expectation. The same look Benji gave me not too long ago.

She begins to walk away, but I grab her arm. Electricity rushes through my body, but I'm not letting go of her. I'm not going to let her leave me.

I will not make the same mistake again.

That's when I realize what Benji meant. Ever since Sheena entered the picture, I've been avoiding Gunjan. But why? Why do I have this sudden urge to hold Gunjan… and keep her with me forever?

A thousand questions run through my head, but when I look into her eyes, it's like all the answers are within them; I just have to look hard enough.

"I do have something to tell you," I begin to say, my heart beating faster.

"Just listen to your heart Samrat."

I let go of everything in that moment. I forget that a thousand people are watching me. I forget that this is a play. That this is just acting. All I remember is that it's now or never. That it's just Gunjan and me.

"When I listen to my heart, I only hear your name. When I close my eyes, I only see your face. I guess you were there all along, I just never took the time to really notice it before." I say, "I don't want you to change yourself for me, because with you, I can be a better person. With you, I want to be a better person."

There's another silence. I make Gunjan face me. There's a single tear forming in her eyes, I wipe it away. "I don't think I can live with myself knowing that I'm responsible for your tears."

I pull her closer to me. I ignore that my heart starts beating a hundred times a second. I need to tell her, I need her to know what she is to me.

"You're my angel. I…" I hesitate, "I love you Chashmish."

She pushes me away, "Chashmish? Samrat, what are you talking about? That's not in the script!"

The lights turn back on; I can see the people gasping in their seats. I turn to look at her, but I don't see Gunjan anymore, I see Sheena.

Her eyes brim with tears. "You asshole!" she says before storming off.

What just happened here?

I look back at the crowd, and then at Benji. He's not mad anymore, he smiles and gives me thumbs up. I look past Benji, and there she is. There's my Gunjan, dressed in her usual salwar suit, her hair straight as can be, and her glasses right where they belong. Just the way I like her.

Gunjan glances up at me once, nervously, and then looks away. Before I can get to her, the crowd erupts in applause. The entire cast, except Sheena, joins me on the stage and bows. My eyes search for Gunjan, but I can't find her.

The End