Ronit & impeccable manners!

Peck on cheek is ideal for someone you know well

Uma Devarajan

You run into a woman at a party that you have been hoping to charm. You bend down to kiss her cheek to show off what you believe is your suave side, and horror of horrors, her icy glare tells you that you have committed a gaffe of serious magnitudes.

Cut to two days later, another party, another woman. You keep your distance and simply nod. And you can read in her eloquent eyes, "What€™s with this guy? Why is he so cold?"

Social greeting is no longer the clear cut picture that it used to be. To kiss or not to kiss? One kiss or two? There seem to be pitfalls every step of the way to perfect conduct.

Britain, apparently, is divided over the dilemma of the peck on the cheek. The Indian scenario is no less complicated. In such a mosaic of cultures and attitudes, one needs to be very sure of where one is putting one€™s foot.

Sticky situations, as one sees them, can fall into three broad categories €" corporate/official, social gatherings like parties, and informal meetings with friends.

"In a corporate meeting you never peck people on the cheek. A handshake is more in form, says Soft Skills and etiquette consultant Nina John. "Culture varies from organisation to organisation. At one extreme you have institutions like banks with very rigid hierarchy and where any form of free speech or mannerism is frowned upon. At the other end is the cubicle culture of BPOs, where everyone is sitting very close to each other and the body language is freer. The best thing is to adapt to the culture of the organisation that you are working in," she adds.

Personal grooming instructor Chhaya Momaya says that a handshake is normal to seal a business deal. "It is also best to keep your distance when you are meeting someone for the first time, because you never know how the person will react," she says.

When it comes to parties, a little loosening up of demeanour would be expected. After all, you are there to have fun.

Says Chhaya Momaya, "A peck on the cheek is in order during cocktail evenings, or when you are meeting someone you know well. A hug is acceptable if you know the person very well. It remains a woman€™s prerogative to offer her hand or cheek for a kiss. The whole things about a kiss is about how close you are to the person and how sure you are of the other person accepting it."

Nina John suggests sticking to the formalities when in doubt. "Call him or her by the surname and wait for the other person to offer a first name address," she says. Hugs and kisses are fine with very close friends, but again, be aware of where you are. Public Displays of Affection, or PDAs, are okay in an airport lounge, but would look unseemly in a busy street.

TV actor Ronit Roy, who is known for his impeccable manners, says that he would greet another gentleman with a handshake or a namaste. "I would give warm hugs to those close to me. Many people call me €˜dada€™, meaning elder brother, so the affection comes from both sides. I hug my mother and aunts too. A peck on the cheek is okay if the lady initiates it. I€™m more Indian in the way I greet people, though," he says. A golden rule, suggest experts, is to respect the other person€™s sensibility and judge by the level of comfort between the two of you. So if you want to avoid the horrifying realisation of having committed a faux pas, simply go only as far as the other person wants to.

Thanks a lot for sharing!

Audrey - CONTROL yaar ..

There was an article some years ago, it was Rohit's birthday bash and Ronit was receving all the women with a peck on the cheek .. aaaah what would Inotgive to be on that guestist!