Don't know if this has been posted earlier.
Actual Supervisor Quotes from Employee Performance Evaluations:
1) Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2) I would not allow this employee to breed.
3) This employee is really not much of a has-been, but more of a definite: won't be.
4) Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
5) When she opens her mouth, it seems it is only to change feet.
6) He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.
7) This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
8) He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
9) This employee is depriving a village somewhere of its idiot.
10) This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better.
11) Got a full 6-pack but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
12) A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
13) He doesn't have ulcers - but he is a carrier.
14) He's been working with glue too long.
15) He would argue with a signpost.
16) He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.
17) When his I.Q. reaches 50 he should sell.
18) If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one.
19) Donated his brain to science before he was finished using it.
20) He has two brains - one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
21) If he were any more stupid he'd have to be watered twice a week.
22) Some drink from the fountain of knowledge - he only gargled.