Is it a submission to masculine supremacy, or a display of solidarity? - Page 2

The concept of a woman taking a man's last name goes back to the 15th century, when women were legally considered their husband's once they married. But it wasn't until the 1970s that many states began shifting their laws to make it easier for women to keep their surnames or maiden names upon getting married.

Who was the first woman to keep her last name?

Lucy Stone

The group took its name from Lucy Stone (1818–1893), the first married woman in the United States to carry her birth name through life (she married in 1855). The New York Times called the group the "Maiden Namers".(Source: Google)

See I feel 2 issues are being combined as one here. And that isn't fair.

The first is Jayaji's overreaction to being addressed by her official name as per registration documents. If everyone else was addressed by their registered names, then I fail to understand why she took such a big offense to being addressed like that. This wasn't some pap or fan addressing her as Mrs. Jaya Amitabh Bachchan. It was for an official reason. And I said - overreaction.

But the second is a more systemic issue - women adopting their husbands' names after marriage. For that, I say it should be every women's choice whether or not to adopt her husband's name and that choice should be respected. Some women prefer using their husband's name, so that should be accepted and others prefer keeping their own name after marriage and that should be accepted as well. But once a woman makes a choice, that choice needs to be respected everywhere - formally and informally, officially and unofficially.

I agree with what most have said already- adopting your husband's family name or not should be a woman's choice. Some women choose to keep their maiden names after marriage, and some add it as their middle names or even hyphenate it with their last names such as Kareena Kapoor-Khan, Aishwarya Rai-Bacchan, Priyanka Chopra-Jonas etc.

That said, the concept of having surnames itself is a very Eurocentric one. In India, prior to British colonization, people usually went by first names only or added titles to their names. It's the British that enforced surnames, for bureaucratic reasons and for tracking the populace and the 3 part naming convention began to be adopted. Not just in India but in many Asian cultures and even among the Indigenous/ First Nations in N.America/ Australia there wasn't a system of surnames. Even now, in many South Indian cultures we don't use surnames - it's your father (or husband's first name initial) followed by your first name. But now since bureaucracy demands it everywhere and it's more of a pain not to have it, most people have adopted surnames. But I digress.

In this specific case, I think Jaya Bachan was objecting to the use of her middle name - her husband's name. Now I know middle names are totally optional - I don't have one, my hubby and my kid do, but no one addresses them with all 3 names. And in many forms and documents, although there is a slot for filling in your middle name, it's usually not a mandatory field. That's why it's weird to me that the official found it necessary to address her as Jaya Amitabh Bachhan. Her name maybe entered as that in official documents but who uses middle name when addressing someone? It's usually just first name and last name if you want to call someone formally. Or title and last name. In this case, it seemed like the official was dragging in her more famous husband's name unnecessarily and therefore diminishing her own standing. I think (if I'm not wrong) she clarified that just 'Jaya Bachhan' would do, and there was no need to add 'Amitabh'. She wasn't refusing to be called by her married surname that she adopted, just that her husband's name (her middle name) need not have been added. So, in this case, I feel she could be justified in calling it out.

What is defined as normal? And what is of our culture that is defined as normal? Is normal normal?

Originally posted by: rckRadhe

What is defined as normal? And what is of our culture that is defined as normal? Is normal normal?

Why can it be said that "the way I am" is normal? It is, of course, normal for you, for me as well. But it would be wonderful if people could learn to quit imposing their normal on other people.

Who decides what qualifies as "normal"? Is there a definitive line that separates being "abnormal" from being normal?

I remember watching Oath taking Ceremony of MPs. Hema Malini, was announced as Hema Dharmendra Deol. She took Oath as, I, Hema Malinni.......

It's personal choice. She managed with dignity.

I took my husband’s surname, but I would still object to having his first name added as my middle name. I agree with Jaya Bachchan here.

Adding the husband’s first name as the wife’s middle name without her consent sounds a lot like branding her as his object.

Also, why is the changing the surname debate a one-way thing? There should also be a debate on whether a man should adopt his wife’s surname. That also needs to become socially acceptable 🤷‍♀️

Originally posted by: BlackWitch

I took my husband’s surname, but I would still object to having his first name added as my middle name. I agree with Jaya Bachchan here.

Adding the husband’s first name as the wife’s middle name without her consent sounds a lot like branding her as his object.

Also, why is the changing the surname debate a one-way thing? There should also be a debate on whether a man should adopt his wife’s surname. That also needs to become socially acceptable 🤷‍♀️

Originally posted by: mnx12

I remember watching Oath taking Ceremony of MPs. Hema Malini, was announced as Hema Dharmendra Deol. She took Oath as, I, Hema Malinni.......

It's personal choice. She managed with dignity.

She is always a dignified woman, and a great classical dancer. She is a celebrity in the true sense of the word.

Hema Malini wears Dharmendra's name beside her own because she needs to occasionally remind her relationship with him to the outside world.

However, notice that man and his family—they never sent out invitations to Hema and her children. And their familial relationships are multifaceted!