article on KA

When women get hurt, they cry and when they are scorned, they have no qualms about expressing their ire. But the male species is made differently. Men take much longer to fall in love and falling out of love is an equally slow process. A perfect example would be actor Abhishek Bachchan who was courting actress Karisma Kapoor for six years. The couple were engaged to be married and suddenly broke up. While all kinds of speculation did the rounds, what did come through was the deep sense of hurt and confusion in Bachchan junior. He had even gone on record saying, "I don't fall in love easily." Television actor Sameer Soni openly admits that break-ups have scarred him. "After I broke up with Nafisa Joseph, it took me a really long time to recover from that relationship."

The hurt, believe experts, scars men and scares them and that's why these men turn commitment phobic. Post Karisma, Abhishek has been linked with several women but shows no signs of committing to any one of them.

"Women are more emotional and sensitive but men camouflage their inner feelings. Men who find it difficult to deal with rejection have a strong empathy factor ingrained in them. This makes them more vulnerable in a relationship and therefore the pain of rejection is deeper," says Dr Sundaram, psychologist. Actor Vikas Kalantri was in a long term-relationship with television actress Nausheen Ali Sardar. The couple broke up recently. Says Vikas,"It is not easy to get over a long- term relationship. I'm still very fond of Nausheen and can't even think of getting into another relationship right now."

Television actor Akashdeep Sehgal who was involved with Bollywood director, Farah Khan, is still single despite the fact that the couple split a couple of years ago. "It took me a very long time to recover. In fact I am still single. You don't plan to fall in love. These things happen spontaneously."

Says NLP psychologist, Dr Madhusudan Joshi, "Due to the social role assigned to men, it affects their ego and when a relationship doesn't work out, they either withdraw completely or adopt a more aggressive approach as in going out and dating several women. The latter option doesn't really work in their favour because they have not yet recovered from the past relationship and might date a series of wrong kind of women. Men are far more emotionally dependent than women and therefore find it difficult to cope with the aftermath of a break up. Often they turn to alcohol, gutka smoking or even use pain killer injections like Fortwin to ease themselves of the pain."