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Posted: 2 years ago
#11

Originally posted by: MyThoughts

AbhiM is just begani shadi mei abdulla deewana.AbhiN told him in the hospital' दुसरी की पत्नी के बारे मे सोचना सेहत के लिये हानिकारक है "Still indirectly he was indirectIy hitting on AK. He was not even engaged then, but now he is. I did not feel his was a neutral talk, he wanted AK to know that she still holds place in his heart. But what else you can expect from AbhiM the great..


I think this last part I disagree with. From just the precap I thought the same that he was trying to push for his feelings. But...I think he is just resonating with the talk he had with Kairav earlier on. I think he was genuinely helping Kairav just cause he helps people in general. But when Kairav mentioned how they are both unlucky it got him thinking and he said those words to Ak right after that.

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Posted: 2 years ago
#12

I just hv this for your post.. ❤️❤️❤️

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Posted: 2 years ago
#13

Originally posted by: lagjagale


Agree with this 100%. Abhi has a huge heart vs mind issue, and his responsibilities end up being cages he has to break through for him to be happy. There are definitely other options he can do, but his family itself often pushes him to make these decisions. As to why Abhinav doesn't face the same issues I have some ideas :


1. Nav doesn't have a family and so no big family-related responsibilities until now (not a big point, but still valid)

2. Nav is happy with settling, while Abhi always wants it all. This is a much bigger thing, I think. Nav grew up not having a lot, and he himself keeps his expectations low so when he does get things in life, he is overjoyed. It's a common trait for low-middle-class people. Nav has said that he doesn't deserve things like a grand love or even Ak on multiple occasions. So even if Nav wants things, he doesn't think that makes him deserve them.


Abhi, on the other hand grew up wealthy and getting everything he ever wanted - usually by sheer force of will. Even for things he didn't get, he kept fighting for - like his mother's happiness or respect from his father. So Abhi really thinks he deserves everything he wants. He moreover thinks that God itself is on his side and will make the path for him to get what he wants. It's huge main character energy, to say the least. With all of this, any responsibility can become a chain because he will always want more and always think he deserves more.


Even with Ak, he loved her but wanted her to love him back as much as he deserved, which she was just not able to do. It's seen from the beginning. Ak is way more grounded and like Nav in this case, but she still wants a lot of the same things as Abhi.


3. Nav always wanted a family, while Abhi was always trying to run away from his. So for Nav the responsibilities are also like treats cause he never had them and having them makes him feel like he belongs. For Abhi he always had responsibilities from a very young age to protect his mom and brother. Its a lot for a little kid and will have an impact on how they handle relationships in the future. I am not saying Nav has never faced issues, of course he has probably a lot bigger than Abhi, but also very different from Abhi.


Agreed for the most part.

I think for Abhinav instead of settling, its more about gratefullness for what he has. While his low self esteem does play a role in it, but its also because people who have seen worse tend to apreciate the regular and treasure the good things. While those who didnt experiece lack of something tend to take it for granted.


Another thing is, Abhinav always had to struggle cuz he was an orphan. Whether he liked it or not, he had to do things, work hard on his own etc because there was no one else to do so in his place. He probably learnt to take life for what it is. For, ex If he wanted a house, he alone has to work hard, earn money not only to feed himself, daily expenses but also save up. If he buys something then he would have to take it from what his saved money, which makes buying the house that much further. If you want the pleasure of being in your own house, you gotta sacrifice things for now. He probably learnt accountability, consequences, delayed gratification etc etc. If you want something, it comes with its own rules and duties, to get and maintain, that he has to do it on his own. His complaining or cribbing or not wanting it wont help him whatsover. Either he has to take it for what it is or leave it. So when it comes to relationships, he probably takes it for what they are and better cope with the struggles that come with it.


For Abhimanyu, its more about entitlement and superiority complex(?) than main character energy, imo. He does have fighting spirit and very self righteous. Which is a good combination when directed at the right things but he can go overboard throwing judgements on people/himself with rewards and pusnishments based of what he thinks is right.


@bold: If you mean that Abhimanyu loved her but AK's love never matched up, I disagree. Loving someone is accepting someone for they are, which Akshara over time was able to do. He became her highest priority(like he wanted) and accepted him with all his good and bad. He on the other hand, failed to accept her for who she is. In a way he loved her for himself, for the peace she brings in him. He does pour out a lot of affection but its conditional. And conditional love like that can become a cage.

Edited by SereneWorld - 2 years ago
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Posted: 2 years ago
#14


smiley32smiley27

I wanted to write it since yestetday but wasn't able to articulate my thoughts. Glad you wrote it so beautifully.

I too believe that Nav being an orphan, has a completely diff world view, than Ak & Ab. The latter had their shares of struggles.. but having big affluent families they have certain expectations of life & relationships.


Nav as you said is used to take whatever hand life dealt him & make the most out of it. He doesn't have the option to pick n choose. He has low expectations of people and is happy with whatever relations/care/love he got in his life. It's v.clear why he isn't into grand love stories.



Maybe bcos no backstory was given to him so people find it hard to relate to him or just bcos he's viewed as a third wheel his perspective is never taken into account.. but both Ab & Ak get lot more free pass for their actions in name of trauma.. which is rarely the case with Nav.

But chalo I understand we like what we like and can only have so much empathy for those we don't.

Edited by verve - 2 years ago
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Posted: 2 years ago
#15

My point in talimg about Abhinav's life as an orphan was to say, he has the "it is what it is" or "make the most out of a situation" mindest. I dont see that as taking an optimistic approach of what life hands you. Everything good comes with its own price for having it, and continue to have it. You cant take the good parts and leave the bad ones. Thats not how life works - this is what he learned as an orphan. This can be applied to relationships and responsibilities too. You can't carve out the parts you like about a person, that would just leave the person with holes. Probably one of the reasons why he tends to focus/see the good in people and understand their position as much as he can. Similarly, the responsibilities are to maintain something. You want a rose to bloom? you gotta take care of the plant. There is no out.


I had to google "main character energy" just to confirm if im using it right lol


"They’re straight out of a book or a film: turning heads on the street, self-assured, a little quirky but not self-conscious. You look at them and get the feeling that they know who they are and where their life is headed. More recently, the term has been used to describe a sort of ethos or way of living that emphasizes romanticizing smaller aspects of life, like riding the bus while listening to music or grocery shopping."


"Generally, narcissists are people who are self-important, put themselves over others, and pursue attention, and spotting them is fairly easy. People with main character energy, on the other hand, simply find joy in their own routines and the day-to-day of their own lives. That joy just happens to overflow and become noticeable to other people.


That said, main character energy can become main character syndrome, which is when someone is so obsessed with being the main character that it becomes performative and loops back around to narcissism."


This is from wikihow.


Abhimanyu's is not main character energy but rather self centeredness, entitlement and superiority complex. Him thinking god is on his side is part of this.


And coming to AK's love for Abhi, we see Abhira's relationship very differently lol I think i'll agree to disagree cuz its the same points over and over in this forum.

Edited by SereneWorld - 2 years ago
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Posted: 2 years ago
#16

Wanna add soemthing more to my prev post.

There are things you can change and things you can't. Accepting things for they are is good if you recognise that a situation cant be changed. If you dont accept you'll end up living in misery. But for situations that can be changed and fought for, yet you stay in it while wishing for better, that is settling, imo.

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