Abhimanyu - The father

Can he really be a good father? Firstly, he was shown as his whole reason to live after leap is Ruhi and then he went to kasouli, there he is more affected by Akshara than his connection with his son (don't tell me that he don't know abhir is his son then..bcoz abhi felt jolt in stomach when abhir is sick..by same logic)....All of a sudden he is feeling connected towards abhir....After getting to know abhir is his son , he completely forgot about Ruhi...she is just a kid and her so called poppy broke her every promise and coming to abhir , will abhir really open his hands for him if he knows how he treated his mom. He is neither a good husband to akshara nor a good father to both roohi /abhir.

I think we have yet to see what kind of father he is. The whole issue here is more the pacing of the show and their sudden changes in script based on trp. Ruhi was always Abhi's guilt first and child second. He never really "parented" her cause he was always trying to make her happy. What we saw initially with his intense attachment to Ruhi was more like she was his only lifeline in the darkness without Ak. Then Ak came back into his life, and suddenly bulb switched on. He was blinded, and he ran blindly after Ak, and she turned him down and threw him into another pit of guilt. So then again, he returned to his lifeline.

As to Abhir, they would have shown more attachment if the story was only focused on Abhira. But they wanted to show Nav stuff and everything, and it really wouldn't have made sense for Abhi to feel so strongly about Abhir from Kasauli trip onwards. He would have found out pretty quickly if he felt so strongly about him. Moreover, I think the way he felt for Ak overshadowed his feelings for Abhir. That's shown to happen for both of them, honestly, only Nav keeps Abhir above all else.

In terms of parenting, I think Abhi might be better than Ak for Abhir. I have alluded to this before, but Abhir is shown to be a lot like Abhi. He is honest and straightforward and really doesn't understand all the twists and turns of lies his mother weaves. He feels more comfortable with Abhi as well because Abhi is straightforward and honest. And Ak isn't even herself in all the time she raised Abhir, just an angry and scared version. She gives him pretty conflicting messages too, depending on the way she is feeling. All over Abhi might turn out to be a better parent if he can actually learn to prioritize and control his temper.

Originally posted by: lagjagale

I think we have yet to see what kind of father he is. The whole issue here is more the pacing of the show and their sudden changes in script based on trp. Ruhi was always Abhi's guilt first and child second. He never really "parented" her cause he was always trying to make her happy. What we saw initially with his intense attachment to Ruhi was more like she was his only lifeline in the darkness without Ak. Then Ak came back into his life, and suddenly bulb switched on. He was blinded, and he ran blindly after Ak, and she turned him down and threw him into another pit of guilt. So then again, he returned to his lifeline.

As to Abhir, they would have shown more attachment if the story was only focused on Abhira. But they wanted to show Nav stuff and everything, and it really wouldn't have made sense for Abhi to feel so strongly about Abhir from Kasauli trip onwards. He would have found out pretty quickly if he felt so strongly about him. Moreover, I think the way he felt for Ak overshadowed his feelings for Abhir. That's shown to happen for both of them, honestly, only Nav keeps Abhir above all else.

In terms of parenting, I think Abhi might be better than Ak for Abhir. I have alluded to this before, but Abhir is shown to be a lot like Abhi. He is honest and straightforward and really doesn't understand all the twists and turns of lies his mother weaves. He feels more comfortable with Abhi as well because Abhi is straightforward and honest. And Ak isn't even herself in all the time she raised Abhir, just an angry and scared version. She gives him pretty conflicting messages too, depending on the way she is feeling. All over Abhi might turn out to be a better parent if he can actually learn to prioritize and control his temper.

Hopefully abhir is not like abhi...Only case where I want abhir to be like manyu is the way abhimanyu chose his mother over papa birla

Abhir is shown to be a beautiful mix of Abhira because Ak raised him like that. She raised a mini Abhi without even thinking about it. She taught him to fight and stand up for what's his. She taught him to never bend for others. She taught him to be exactly like Abhi. Ak pretty much let her trauma govern her entire parenting style. She used to be so loving and empathetic, and I see none of that anymore, nor has she been shown to teach Abhir anything like that. It's Nav who is filling in the shoes of teaching Abhir good values.

she definitely didn’t teach him to be like Abhimanyu .. and why are you saying she is not empathetic etc? She is not bubbly and happy because of her experiences in life .. but she still is empathetic and good .. you choose to see it like she is some Dayan with A hit .. she has a lot of light moments with Sbhir and she has been a really good mother too from what has been shown .. people just credit all good as him being exactly like Abhi and soft being because of Nav and it is like she had nothing to do with that child turning out good .. Abhimanyu does not know balance .. where is he telling truth or being straight forward .. he hid the truth of him throwing Akshara out all these years .. his own mother does not know and he allowed people to think she was the villain .. even now let the child know how he treated the mother and then let us see .. I think you really make Skshara out to be some horrible person after white day .. she has had a lot of soft moments with the child and if it wasn’t that way he wouldn’t turn out so good .. he has not seen the real Abhimanyu and Sbhimanyu has spoiled Ruhi rotten. And he just knows to pamper and give in to everything the kid asks for .. seriously what example is he for the child? And it is not like Akshara is forever weaving web of lies around the child ! The glorification of Abhimanyu is too much .. he has said his fair share of lies throughout this gen .. and his truths have also been quite convenient or his interpretations of truth .. sorry but your constant thing of making Akshara out to be a bad mom really gets to me when there is no such evidence ..

Originally posted by: lagjagale

Abhir is shown to be a beautiful mix of Abhira because Ak raised him like that. She raised a mini Abhi without even thinking about it. She taught him to fight and stand up for what's his. She taught him to never bend for others. She taught him to be exactly like Abhi. Ak pretty much let her trauma govern her entire parenting style. She used to be so loving and empathetic, and I see none of that anymore, nor has she been shown to teach Abhir anything like that. It's Nav who is filling in the shoes of teaching Abhir good values.

It really depends on how you see it. I don't think Ak is a good mother, I have no idea what kind of father Abhi will turn out to be. In the few things they have shown, Abhir has more compatibility with Abhi, maybe they are just showing that and not showing Abhir - Ak bond as much.

As to why I don't think she is a good mother: she let her trauma guide her parenting more than her personality, which I really don't see anymore. I will give you an example of Sonakshi from Kuch Rang. I don't compare Sona and Ak cause obviously very different stories and people, but Sona never let her trauma affect Soha. She taught Soha her values of truth and honesty, and kindness, even when Dev blamed her for those. She was never mad at Soha for wanting to connect with Dev, and never had any unusual outbursts either.

Here it's the complete opposite, where has Ak taught Abhir to be kind to someone or to be empathetic? She herself has shown no empathy since the leap ( not just towards Abhi, but towards anyone except Nav). The only thing she has taught Abhir is to fight, don't be soft, etc. The only other scenes of them are them studying together, which are cute. She is also teaching him to be number one when before, she never cared about anything like that. Moreover, it's the emotional outbursts. Her being mad at Abhir when he brings up Docman or reminds her of Abhi etc. She herself feels guilty about it. She knows she shouldn't behave like that with a child. It's quite simple, no matter what her trauma, she shouldn't base her parenting on that.

And sorry if it comes out as if I am glorifying Abhi or calling Ak Dayan? I am not saying any of that. I am saying Abhi could have been a good dad if he were given a real chance, we just don't know now. Ak isn't a bad person, but her personality has taken a sharp turn with this leap. Yes, people can grow and change, but it's a different thing to change because you want to, and as a natural process. Here she is holding onto a lot of trauma and fear, and that is the reason for her current personality. And one main thing is Abhi is responsible for this new Ak. He took a sweet girl and turned her into this. I am more opposed to him than her. The dynamics change when we are talking about parenting, though, cause then the child is more important than the trauma of the parent.

Why are they not showing Abhir with Ak, something like she is narrating a story or some playful moments and Ab is watching both of them....

Here it is always Ab with Abhir or AA with Abhir.

it has become connection less. literally no conversation between mother and son

The biggest example of her empathy is that no one even in her current life who has seen at least part of her trauma thinks badly of Abhimanyu or Gorillas .. this is not because they are themselves so great but because Akshara chose not to paint them as villains ., even when she told Muskaan she said don’t judge them through my experiences , build your relationship .. even with her limited means she does charity at church, she takes care of Muskaan , neelamma , she is a contributing member of the small community around them .. yes she is pucca about accounts, the disciplinarian in the house .. but where did you see lack of empathy .. even when Abhimanyu came to Kasauli she didn’t treat him badly .. nor did she forbid the child from meeting Abhimanyu .. you are choosing to see her being strict as having a lack of empathy .. it is not like she is going around riding roughshod on all people around her except Nav.. they have family time under the stars , she makes her son understand when he is throwing tantrums .. she just doesn’t give in and pamper like Abhimanyu .. of course her fear of what Sbhimanyu and his involvement in her life can do is there and she hasn’t told the child about Abhimanyu because he is too young and she doesn’t want to poison the child .. she might not be happy with the sudden divman thing .. but some mistakes all parents make . She still even before Abhimanyu again started showing his true colors never forbid the child from meeting or making a relation even if it wasn’t something she was happy about .. and I am saying about Abhimanyu based on all his interactions .. whether it is anyone he has loved .. before Abhira there is a scene where Nishta has not done her homework or project abd she says she knows Abhimanyu will do it for her .. take Neel - he never tried to have a conversation about his career or insecurities .. nothing and his way of going about Neel - Arohi was all wrong .. he does the same thing with Ruhi and now with Abhir .. doing everything they ask for .. and he is also sort of trying to make himself into this extra parental authority who is teaching the child that GE can come to him for things his parents say no to .. anyway you like Abhimanyu so you won’t see these as faults .. but I see Akshara S a good mother ..who is balanced in the way she has brought up the child .. she plays with him, tells him stories , scolds him or restricts him when she thinks he is wrong .. true she doesn’t want her child to face the kind of things she did .. so she is teaching him to fight as well .. but she is also teaching him to say sorry when he is wrong , when his behaviour is unacceptable ,.. I haven’t seen her teaching him to be unkind or to lie .. I haven’t seen her being unkind to people in front of him or even when he is not around .. and she is the only character who has not played victim and blamed others for her problems ..she has not self pitied saying why me , she never blamed gorillas or Arohi or even abhimanyu for what happened to her .. she is angry with Snhimsnyu and does not think that well of him,, but she still does not hold grudges that he is good with everyone else and her family is so pro him .. she just makes the best of what life has thrown at her without blaming other people for it or without using sympathy card with anyone ..she could easily poison the child against dicman too .. and she would have good reasons .. Manjari did it slyly all her life .. but she is not doing that .. I would say she still has enough and more empathy and kindness than the rest of gorillas and Abhimanyu combined

Originally posted by: lagjagale

It really depends on how you see it. I don't think Ak is a good mother, I have no idea what kind of father Abhi will turn out to be. In the few things they have shown, Abhir has more compatibility with Abhi, maybe they are just showing that and not showing Abhir - Ak bond as much.

As to why I don't think she is a good mother: she let her trauma guide her parenting more than her personality, which I really don't see anymore. I will give you an example of Sonakshi from Kuch Rang. I don't compare Sona and Ak cause obviously very different stories and people, but Sona never let her trauma affect Soha. She taught Soha her values of truth and honesty, and kindness, even when Dev blamed her for those. She was never mad at Soha for wanting to connect with Dev, and never had any unusual outbursts either.

Here it's the complete opposite, where has Ak taught Abhir to be kind to someone or to be empathetic? She herself has shown no empathy since the leap ( not just towards Abhi, but towards anyone except Nav). The only thing she has taught Abhir is to fight, don't be soft, etc. The only other scenes of them are them studying together, which are cute. She is also teaching him to be number one when before, she never cared about anything like that. Moreover, it's the emotional outbursts. Her being mad at Abhir when he brings up Docman or reminds her of Abhi etc. She herself feels guilty about it. She knows she shouldn't behave like that with a child. It's quite simple, no matter what her trauma, she shouldn't base her parenting on that.

Maybe we are just watching two different shows, but my interpretation is not that. Let's just agree to disagree. Again, I don't like Abhi or Ak, but I am in support of Ak right now. I do not like her as a parent but that doesn't translate to me supporting Abhi. At the point it's just too soon to say what Abhi will be like as a parent. I agree with your points that his way of loving has been to just give in to all demands, except for Ak. If you remember during Ak pregnancy, Abhi took care of her and made her follow routines etc. I expect that Abhi when he is not tied with guilt. Neil/ruhi are both guilt infused relationships. And now Abhir will be too. Going forward I fully expect Abhi to spoil Abhir because he was absent from his life. I just wish I got to see them raise a kid normally. I have said this before, but I see Abhi as the strict disciple wala parent and Ak as the mischievous fun parent. For me they have both gone against their basic nature in this leap.