Member Topic: Joint famillies - Page 2

Originally posted by: Maroonporsche

I live in a joint family

An yes at times me/wife/son living w my parents and my brothers family can be exhausting. But then even if it was just me/wife/son id feel exhausted. Just a bit less 😂

Let’s see what the future holds

Doesn't your wife ever complain or ask to get a separate house?

Originally posted by: Supari_khala

I didn’t. I always keep my place even when I’m living with someone 3-4 times out of the week. I like my space. Even if I were to miraculously get married someday, I would still keep my apartment.

What if he moves into your apartment😆

Originally posted by: la_Reine

Doesn't your wife ever complain or ask to get a separate house?

No but she does ask for us to take trips to see her family in Pakistan. So we’re going in September. I’ll stay 10 days but she will stay till November’s end. She can recharge and come deal w my family again. 😂

Originally posted by: Maroonporsche

No but she does ask for us to take trips to see her family in Pakistan. So we’re going in September. I’ll stay 10 days but she will stay till November’s end. She can recharge and come deal w my family again. 😂

What happened to sending her for 6 months vacation😆

Living with family may be hard but living alone or with no family support is even harder. Best scenario is you have your own place and your family lives couple of blocks down from you so they are there when you need them

It depends on the in laws and secondly if their is enough space where we don’t get in each other’s way. As privacy can be an issue. Otherwise, to some it hard enough to live with their new partner and their habits and have to adjust esp if you been independent/single / on your own a long time to adjust to the new dynamic.🤔 On the other hand you get company other then your spouse. Also, some mothers in law I have heard are cool to hang out and father in laws who treat their daughter in law as their own daughter. I have seen most peoples in laws I have seen are good in helping with household chores babysitting the kids and they actually enjoy doing that go figure lol 😂 (saves a lot on day care) !!

Originally posted by: Purple5

Best scenario is you have your own place and your family lives couple of blocks down from you so they are there when you need them

Came here to write this.

Living in joint family is not hum-saath-saath-hai or sasural genda phool.
living without family support is also hard.

Originally posted by: Sense9

Came here to write this.

Living in joint family is not hum-saath-saath-hai or sasural genda phool.
living without family support is also hard.

I agree. Nothing is perfect in life. I live alone and struggle a lot with some minor things which would not be so hard if I had family around. At the same time having lots of family around also causes issues with privacy.

Grew up in a joint family till I was 10 when the family split up.Mixed blessing. A joint family is not just the grandparents,kids and the grandkids. There will be spinster,widowed aunts and great aunts, orphaned cousins or cousins whose parents are abroad. That's not counting the revolving door of in-laws and relatives (3 or 4 times removed) who come and stay for months.

On one hand you get free childcare and don't need to worry about the daily menu, laundry etc. Life is not exhausting and there's plenty of time for the women of the family to pursue your hobbies, visiting, shopping etc. There's a battalion of servants.Pursuing a career(or not) is strictly up to you.Things will run smoothly even if you're sick or take off for weeks for your mayka. Someone is in hospital or in jail or in debt. No problem.The family immediately steps in. The no privacy factor and sharing trains you to be a good room mate when you finally set off for College. The onus of education and dowry does not rest on the parents alone. The paterfamilias helps out.There is no pressure for a white collar job. If you're not good at your studies a place will be found for you somewhere in the family business or estates. You inherit a huge network of contacts. I still consult the descendants of the same doctors,accountants,lawyers,bankers etc.

Cons: The infernal plotting and conspiracies and factions can threaten your sanity(literally). Suicide or mental breakdowns are not unheard of. The elders decide on your future studies,career, spouse etc.So buttering them up is necessary if you want any say in your future. The constant comparisons of the DILs, the constant spying by the servants... the list goes on.

I don’t think I would survive in a joint family. Love mine privacy and not “explaining” where I am going and with who.

And having discussions over petty things make mind head explode 🤯. So joint family no thanx 🙃