Fear of losing parents - Page 3

U should first set ur priorities right. That whether career holds more importance or family.

I left two promotions so I don't get transferred. I may earn less but I'm at peace at my parent's place n it's them who still take care of me instead of me🤣

I hardly do anything for them but still satisfied that at least I'm there with them.

Many ppl from my office also don't take promotions for years because of the same reason.

First of all stay strong dear. This fear is actually very scary. And Parent loss is biggest loss we would ever have. Ageing is inevitable, Death is a reality. But the thought of losing parents is hell scary.

Still We need to be mentally strong and try to be happy and keep our parents happy. Their happiness matters the most.

I can totally relate with your situation. I also passed through not exactly same but kinda similar situation and I chose to live with my parents, We can get other opportunities but we cant get other parents.

Baki it's your choice, do whatever your heart say. Take that decision which gives you happiness and sukoon. And once you take a decision, don't regret on it.

Take care of yourself dear. Hope for the best from God. I just pray that your parents and parents of all IF members may be blessed with healthy, wealthy long and happy life.

Thank you everyone for your thoughtful responses! Lots of wisdom I've gained from reading these opinions. It helped.

I hear you. It’s same and it’s terrifying. I can’t explain.

I stay far away. The regret is eating me from inside that I am not able to spend as much time with them as I wish to.

I don’t know how to overcome this constant heavy feeling.

My Mom lost her parents early, and I have seen her. I don’t want that.

You have to intentionally set aside time to make peace with a loved one’s impending death. You cannot be in denial. You have to forced your mind to think and decide what you would do and how you would go about it. Once you come to terms with it on your own, it won’t be as hard as you think. I have lost a loved one, just not in human form. For the first 2-3 months before she died, I was in total denial. I literally grew up with my dog. How could she die before me? I know it sounds insane unless you’ve had a pet. But I slowly came to terms with it. I did spend 3 months in regular therapy before I had to make THE most difficult decision of euthanizing my dog. She was old and her cancer had come back so no amount of surgery or radiation would have helped. I had to make sure she was as comfortable and happy as possible in her last few months while I went to therapy to work on my mental health because I was a wreck. I have never done anything this difficult in my entire life and I doubt I ever will. When the day of euthanasia finally arrived, I was very calm and at peace. That morning, I took her to her favorite park for her last walk and gave her some of her favorite treats. Then she was given pentobarbital as she breathed her last in my lap. I didn’t shed a tear. I knew she was going to a happy place. I knew she had won and cancer had lost. I knew I had made the best decision possible for her.

What I am trying to say is, I think we as humans are very resilient. We just don’t know what we’re capable of until it hits us. I wish you well but none of what you read will help. You have to do the inner work on your own.

After losing my nani to cancer when I was 10, I literally never faced mortality for many years. Post covid though, it was a gateway to losing loved ones. Started with my cat who passed away unexpectedly which itself was heartbreaking and traumatic then grandfather then my dad due to cardiac arrest. I remember vividly when my pet died my sister said, this is it , I feel this is the gateway to losing more loved ones.

I’ve literally spent my entire life having an actual fear of death, which is crippling but somehow when I had to face it, I did. When the time comes you will find the strength, I tell you from personal experience as I felt I was one of the weakest people alive. It is life changing and you will lose a part of yourself and be numb.

Now away from my mom in another country, it makes me scared but that’s life for you. We just wake up the day after no matter how impossible it seems and deal with it. It seems like a waste all this time I don’t see her, all the months wasted we could be together. I just call her all the time which helps but still can’t deny it pains me.

You won’t be wrong to take the job and you won’t be wrong to not take it. Never feel guilty because life will continue to put you in such situations.

I lost both my parents within a week of each other last year.

I still think about the times I was busy with other things. I wish I'd done things differently. I have dreams about my mom, about her talking to me, about me doing something different which saved her life. Dad, somehow, doesn't show in my dreams so much. Probably because I was expecting him to pass. He had a few close calls before then.

Problem is I would've gone crazy if I didn't have the *other things* to do.

Balance, I suppose, is the key. But truthful answer is balance is something you need to find for yourself. I don't think I was successful at it.

Originally posted by: HearMeRoar

I lost both my parents within a week of each other last year.

I still think about the times I was busy with other things. I wish I'd done things differently. I have dreams about my mom, about her talking to me, about me doing something different which saved her life. Dad, somehow, doesn't show in my dreams so much. Probably because I was expecting him to pass. He had a few close calls before then.

Problem is I would've gone crazy if I didn't have the *other things* to do.

Balance, I suppose, is the key. But truthful answer is balance is something you need to find for yourself. I don't think I was successful at it.

Ya..need to have other things to do.

I thought I took it pretty well and was going about the daily chores. But for the first time in life my pressure shoot up a bit and doc told me it was stress..unresolved issues. Had to take n anxiety pill.

And It's mostly coz of my own fears that m not willing to address.

So keep urself occupied..so do stuff u people like to do together and stay happy..don't fear for the day and lose ur peace of mind before it comes.

Take one day at a time

I can understand dear I am in the same situation

In fact my biggest fear is losing my mother

I recently lost my grandmother and couldn't cope with it

My mom wants me to get married because I will be alone after her but I don't want to get married

There is a lot of wonderful advice on this thread, all I would like to say is I completely understand where you are coming from and to be having that awareness and accepting things and fears as are will only lead to a stage where you are strong and wise enough to take those decisions. No solution or decision is perfect anyways, so hope is that a little bit of thought and processing in mind will eventually drive you somewhere, just keep all the faith in yourself, because only that is permanent. As idyllic as it may sound, having that little trust in yourself and things around will always bring a beam of light even in the darkest of times.