Anupama’s confidence

How can she have this much confidence about raising the little anu the right way. I mean, she wants to keep her grounded. Even thought they are multi millionaire, she wants to anu to travel in bus and auto, not to spoil her. Good thoughts!!

But then, just a moment ago, she and Anuj both saw her work so far, in Paakhi. How spoiled pakhi is… didn’t she teach her daughter and toshu, how to talk and stay grounded? Her own kids (except Samar) are so rude and totally mannerless, disrespectful to the elders.

Unbelievable!!

I want to say for a mother specially in joint family it is very difficult to. Teach sanskaar when ex husband is not supportive at all

Why anupama could not able to teach sanskar because vanraj is always with pakhi and toshu and it happen in reality also bahut se joint family jahan pe grand parents apni bahu ko apne pote ko daatne bhi nahi dete

And moreover anupama use to have guilt also use lagta है कि bachon को uski wajah aw kitni sharamdangi jhelni padti है because because she is not litterate . Isi guilt ke kaaran anupama khuch nahi bol. Paayi

Nature Vs Nuture. There was never a balance of this in Shah house, especially btw Vanraj n Anu. Also the utter blind traditions n nonsense of others. Had Anu ever had Vanrajs or Baa support things would have been different. It was always U R wrong, thing. If partner doesn't respect other partner no one would see them in same light, esp children or relatives and it is always sides. Toshu elder son, Pakhi Dads daughter. Enough said, there was never Respect,Value in marriage of V n A.

In Kapadiyas house, Any/Anuj have Respect, Balance, Communication Understanding, Trust. Hence Anu Jr will do well with the parents, Anuj/Anu also understands circumstances and listens to each other , actually listen (though at times its mostly Anuj, Anu need to see his needs and allow him to find himself).

Originally posted by: surabhi01

I want to say for a mother specially in joint family it is very difficult to. Teach sanskaar when ex husband is not supportive at all

Why anupama could not able to teach sanskar because vanraj is always with pakhi and toshu and it happen in reality also bahut se joint family jahan pe grand parents apni bahu ko apne pote ko daatne bhi nahi dete

And moreover anupama use to have guilt also use lagta है कि bachon को uski wajah aw kitni sharamdangi jhelni padti है because because she is not litterate . Isi guilt ke kaaran anupama khuch nahi bol. Paayi

This is not correct

our parents grew up in joint familires only

Till 1990s mostly ppl lived with joint family i mean aged parents siblings uncle aunt cousins because indians were not so rich that all stay individual houses

individual family is new concept after 1990s after ppl started getting richer

before 80% humans lived with aged parents or younger siblings or uncles aunts grand moms etc

does that mean before 1990s whoever born became like toshu and pakhi not really

hardly 20% of people will behave so entitled and narcissit like toshu pakhi

Rest 80% are not like that even if born in jont family or with mothers as meek

as per sciences genes plays impt role in character

Scientists estimate that 20 to 60 percent of temperament is determined by genetics. Temperament, however, does not have a clear pattern of inheritance and there are not specific genes that confer specific temperamental traits

a human personality is determined almost 50 to 60% by their genes means it pre determined before birth

No matter how much anupam ateaches toshu pakhi they would turn out mostly like this only as their genes has those traits in them

so why is samar diff from toshu pakhi? Thats because hes more close to anupama and have got her dominating genes like empathy etc

in every child father or mother genes dominates n traits actually

in toshu and pakhi vanra family genes doninate in samars anupama and her father mom genes dominate

toshu and pakhi got vanraj and baa genes dominating narcissit selfish ready to snatch others wealth etc

Many health issues mental health issues are actually caused by genes

It is not about joint family I am talking about that child is spoiled due to joint family

I want to say if in joint family if wife has is no support from husband to teach sanskar to children and even mother in law also support wrong thing of son and grand children and does not allow mother to teach sanskar to her own children and husband and mother in law keep. scolding her wife that tumne ise kyon daanta ise kyon maara yeh to bachcha hai chota hai and yes aisa hota bhi reality mein to isme mother akele bachon ke sanskar nahi de sakti aur bache to joint family mein dadi se complain karne lagte hai agar unki mother apne bachon ko ek. Bhi thappsd laggya ki mummy me mujhe mara अगर bachon ko apne e grand parents se support hai so

It is almost very to. Difficult to give ssankar in joint family if mother get don't support from family

In nuclear mein isliye thoda easy hota hai kyonki wahan pur pressure kam hota hai

Children return from school at after noon and till, 5to 8hrs in nuclear family mother spend time alone with children and it is easy for mother to train her children but joint family bachon ko. Train karna easy nahi hota

Joint family mein bache ache nikal saktei if wife got support at least from husband but joint family mein agar husband ka hi support na mile upar se grand mother bhi bolti rahe to akele mother khuch nahi kar sakti

And about genes I have already told in one of old threads that genes are also responsible for children habit

If father is lazy in doing any work in home then it is quite possibe bache bhi lazy nikle if parents are greedy then it is quite possible bache bhi greedy nikle due to genes

Bacha mein habits ke bahut karan hote hai

Jt is already well known to every body ki bache mein sanskaar tsbhi se aane lagta hai vwoh womb mein hota hai aur us par kiski shadow pad rahi hai

Even food is also responsible for making personality of person and even नक्षत्र also responsible for behavior of children

And it is said in Hindu scripture if parents has physical contact in inauspicious नक्षत्र then unke bache bure nikalye hai to hindu scripture yeh likha अगर bache dusht na nikle then not to have physical contact in particular time and नक्षत्र