Why rules only for women?

First i refuse to call pakhi a girl after 18 years all are adult so shes a woman. Pakhi they told is 20 years old in show now so shes an adult woman not a teenage girl. At 18 years anupama was married and at 19 years she had Toshu and was a mother. But at 20 years Pakhi is a kid and little girl who cannot speak to distant relative boy whatever boys intentions thats secondary

Does any girl know what are her boy friends or even husband motives to marry her love her? Not really

Till you are not 30-35 years and have varied life experiences no woman or even man can say they can understand others motive well in real life. So why Pakhi is expected to know adhik intentions and stay away?

When Toshu can have love affair while studying in college and run away before completing MBA with Kinjal and mary her than still study etc why should not Pakhi even speak to a boy whose her mothers relative? Samar had nandini as girl friend did he finish degree or was working only part time teaching dance than in anupama dance classes. When sons can have love affair while studying and marry too without completing college or having no real jobs daughter cannot talk to boy till they marry too?

Next question comes they were in bedroom together. Why suspect that a girl and boy go to bedroom only to sleep with each other? What sort of cheap mentality to we keep about a boy and girl relationship? Like that in school or college they can bunk go anywhere do anything they want who will stop them? If you cannot keep so much confidence in your daughter or son that means something wrong in your up bringing only.

Why woman should take permission from parents and brothers to keep male friends or talk to them? Why married woman cannot spend her salary on herself but give account to in lawsand husband? Why married woman has to take permission from in laws or husband to go late parties in office or with friends to shop or dine? Do husband take permission from wife to go out with friends or to office party? Why all questioning and rules for woman like anupama, Malvika or Pakhi only?

Why anuj kapadia gave money to Akshay, Malvika boy friend to leave her? Why he married her to a brute and left her scarred for life? Now hes totally abondoned her first when Vanraj attacked her and for 10 years whe she was roaming world in pain he never bothered? Why only sister life is controlled by elder brothers? If Malvika speaks against Vanraj and Shahs to anupama immediately anuj becomes lion and stares and warns at Malvika. But he can give money to her boy friend and chase him off and marry her to brute everything sister has to bend to please elder brother?

Why anupama has to give even 1 re hisaab to vanraj from house expenses? Why if she goes shopping with Devika and gets ate she has to stand out of house at night? Why vanraj and in laws humilate her repeatedly because shes a woman? But vanraj can have affairs 4 times marry twice and may be have another affair in 60s too thats all okkk

When Samar and Toshu can have girl friends in college age why should Pakhi not speak to adhik? Toshu can elope and marry in college but Pakhi all restrictions are put because shes a girl. Than they say major reason is girl is vulnerable in sociey if she gets pregnant before marraige no one will accept her this logic given. But men like Vanraj can sleep with 4 woman and have affairs and enjoy like 60s they are still ache pita ache beta

As per law you can marry and hae babby at 18 years but to speak with boys or keep boy friends you are a child? And this is only for woman not men of house. They can have girl friends or affairs from age of 16 till 60 years yet be acche pita accha beta accha pati not ghatiya insaan

Why is this double standard in Shah and kapadia house for women only?

Another thing girls who are quiet and adjusting who never question patriachy with parents and brothers are good woman? Like anupama, kinjal and Sara

But woman who raise valid questions on discrimination like Pakhi, Rakhi, Mukku, Devika or Barkha are bad woman? Because they say openly about discrimination and biases in their families or relatives home.

Those who bare all discrimination, bias and torture and abuse and keep quiet are great woman devi

Those who question discrimination and bias are vamps and bad woman like pakhi and Mukku and Devika

Parents and brothers make life decision for daughters and sisters like anuj and anupama mom did. If something goes wrong they refuse to accept blame and never allow daughter or sister any support to come out of that abuses. Woman are left to suffer alone in in laws place or like Mukku roaming countries for 10 years in desperation. Wy anuj and anupam amom never helped anupama or Mukku in pain and left them for 26 years or 10 years to bear the torture that mother and brother had put on them? Even today anuj is not bothered where his sister Mukku is and whats she doing alone? His job over getting her from abusive hubby home?

Originally posted by: myviewprem

If you cannot keep so much confidence in your daughter or son that means something wrong in your up bringing only.

This...👏

Being a mother of 2 daughters , I face this dilemma everyday . i can see that she wants to hang around with her friends, girls and boys both , but at the same time I am really scared when she is out ..the only thing she tells me is to keep faith , to trust her ...she is 17 and we know , even in India, the school kids r very advanced. They are watching everything on Netflix and YouTube, they basically know everything ..they want to try out everything .

the key is to trust them completely , even if they do mistakes , that's the only way they will learn . The more restrictions are put on them, the more rebellious they will turn out to be. It's better that they share with their parents than their peers , try to have such a relationship with them. Along with this, it's really very imp that the mothers must teach their boys to respect the girls and teach them the importance of consent , along with educating them about reckless sex.

Shows like anupama or any itv show will never be realistic. They will always be regressive bec majority of our population relate to it. We need to admit , we are living in that age old Era where there r diff rules for girls and boys . We are a hypocrite society .

The reason father's become so over protective for their daughters is that they know how the boys are , what their intentions r mostly , how they talk about girls ..coz in their age they did the same things 😆 vanraj and anupama both never shared a good bond with their children , at least not make a public spectacle out of it. Talk to your daughter first.

My reply in another post

Ultimately its very patriarchal mindset to control daughters and sisters they have no freedom till marraige after marriage husbands and sons control. So when will woman have freedom to decide. Whether right or wrong they should get freedom. Do not men fail in love or marraige to wrong girls. Let girls also learn from experience only. Did not Mukku and anupama and nandini learn the tough way getting cheated by Shahs? Did Shahs than think Mukku and nandini are others daughters too let them not fall nooo.

Rakhi faced same situation as vanraj and anupama with ikinjal that time all mocking rakhi saying nagin. How tense a mother will be when daughter runs of with patchar family which is low character like Shahs. Tosghu is vanraj son what gaurantee that in 30s or 40s he may not love another woman and abondon kinjal. But Rakhi is vamp if she thinks of kinjal safety and wants some other husband in her life for her safety. But anupama vanraj are heroes for thinking of their daughter safety?

Anuj kapadia faced same situtaion as anupam anad vanraj when vanraj was trapping Malvika but that what anupama told and misguided him acche isnasan ghatiya nahi hai etc. She misled anuj kapadia and than all kow what happened.

But when it omes to pakhi they are shouting at anuj and rakhi etc. Excuse anuj should have told vanraj now you understand fathers pain when a 50 year old twice married man goes after his kid sister how much pain i felt? And none of you supported me and stood against vanraj, you all kept quiet and indirectly supported vanraj while trapping my sister Malvika agianst me. Any man in anuj place would have said that today to vanraj and Shahs except spineless characterless anuj kapadia who has no guts to speak truth when it comes to his family and against Sahhs

This mindset of Shahs that only their daughter and sisters life is precious and respect should happen while Shah men can romp and stamp and spoil others sisters and daughters life and image and life by abuse and love affair trapping and leaving after sometime is very wrong as per me

Most Shahs should be in jail for abusing others sisters and daughters actually be it bapuji, Baa, toshu, vanraj even anupam athe great because they have been complicit in trapping other women and abusing the in various forms.

Originally posted by: Krinya

This...👏

Being a mother of 2 daughters , I face this dilemma everyday . i can see that she wants to hang around with her friends, girls and boys both , but at the same time I am really scared when she is out ..the only thing she tells me is to keep faith , to trust her ...she is 17 and we know , even in India, the school kids r very advanced. They are watching everything on Netflix and YouTube, they basically know everything ..they want to try out everything .

the key is to trust them completely , even if they do mistakes , that's the only way they will learn . The more restrictions are put on them, the more rebellious they will turn out to be. It's better that they share with their parents than their peers , try to have such a relationship with them. Along with this, it's really very imp that the mothers must teach their boys to respect the girls and teach them the importance of consent , along with educating them about reckless sex.

Shows like anupama or any itv show will never be realistic. They will always be regressive bec majority of our population relate to it. We need to admit , we are living in that age old Era where there r diff rules for girls and boys . We are a hypocrite society .

The reason father's become so over protective for their daughters is that they know how the boys are , what their intentions r mostly , how they talk about girls ..coz in their age they did the same things 😆 vanraj and anupama both never shared a good bond with their children , at least not make a public spectacle out of it. Talk to your daughter first.

I know this public spectacle in front of kapadias will make pakhi more rebbellious

Nowadays kids value their respect most

I guess vanraj did too many kaands in college and office which anupama or kavya or audience not aware so hes reacting like this

In wedding fuctions etc girls boys interact and even college parties office parties no one supervises them

Did not anupama go alone to mumbai or kavya travel alone ever?

What is this so much hulla for pakhi she may do something wrong in anger at elders

I travel alone to office and work all over no parent or brothers comes along. I take care of my safety whether USA or india or europe(europe is safest place to travel alone). And i travel alone from start of career all over world alone and can say although i am not very big in age like anupama or kavya i can manage on own. My parents showed confidence in me and let me travel all over alone no one asked which boy you speak or which hotel or house you stay etc. In USA/UK usually IT professional boys and girls live in same house who travel on work like 6 to 10 techies in one house. Sometimes 2 girls 8 boys there sometimes 1 girl 7 boys in house. No one make issue why girl that too young unmarried that too staying with so many male employees in same house or apartment. In IT company staying with male colleague is common for girl employees in same house or even same room 2 beds are there one bed male employee sleeps another woman employee. There no one making halla like Shahs its a job its company accommodation or rented by an employee whose rent all share . Ask any big IT industry in india how employees live in USA/UK/Australia etc when gone to work. Luckily our parents have confidence in us and not making hungama like vanraj and anupama. Otherwise no female emp can work in IT company that to travel abroad etc as conditions totally diff from india society.

Originally posted by: Krinya

This...👏

Being a mother of 2 daughters , I face this dilemma everyday . i can see that she wants to hang around with her friends, girls and boys both , but at the same time I am really scared when she is out ..the only thing she tells me is to keep faith , to trust her ...she is 17 and we know , even in India, the school kids r very advanced. They are watching everything on Netflix and YouTube, they basically know everything ..they want to try out everything .

the key is to trust them completely , even if they do mistakes , that's the only way they will learn . The more restrictions are put on them, the more rebellious they will turn out to be. It's better that they share with their parents than their peers , try to have such a relationship with them. Along with this, it's really very imp that the mothers must teach their boys to respect the girls and teach them the importance of consent , along with educating them about reckless sex.

Shows like anupama or any itv show will never be realistic. They will always be regressive bec majority of our population relate to it. We need to admit , we are living in that age old Era where there r diff rules for girls and boys . We are a hypocrite society .

The reason father's become so over protective for their daughters is that they know how the boys are , what their intentions r mostly , how they talk about girls ..coz in their age they did the same things 😆 vanraj and anupama both never shared a good bond with their children , at least not make a public spectacle out of it. Talk to your daughter first.

Well said🤗

I am also a mother of 2 daughters. I also feel if we try to put restrictions on them, they will do whatever they want secretively, they will hide everything from parents. I have seen girls going to movie or roaming with male friends without telling their parents and even exchanging tops or dresses with friends for which their parents don't give permission.

Our relationship with kids should be like they can share feelings, emotions, fear openly with us and they should have full confidence in us that we will understand them even if they commit mistakes. One thing that should be clear to kids also that we trust them but at the same time, we are concerned about them so sometimes go overboard or become over-protective.

There is one point, where I beg to differ. it's really very imp that the mothers must teach their boys to respect the girls .

I feel it is the responsibility of the father too. In fact, he must be an example. The families, where a boy sees his father respecting every woman-.. I dont think that boy needs to be taught to respect women. it's the environment in which a child is raised, teaches itself a lot.

Originally posted by: ChirpyKiya10

Well said🤗

I am also a mother of 2 daughters. I also feel if we try to put restrictions on them, they will do whatever they want secretively, they will hide everything from parents. I have seen girls going to movie or roaming with male friends without telling their parents and even exchanging tops or dresses with friends for which their parents don't give permission.

Our relationship with kids should be like they can share feelings, emotions, fear openly with us and they should have full confidence in us that we will understand them even if they commit mistakes. One thing that should be clear to kids also that we trust them but at the same time, we are concerned about them so sometimes go overboard or become over-protective.

There is one point, where I beg to differ. it's really very imp that the mothers must teach their boys to respect the girls .

I feel it is the responsibility of the father too. In fact, he must be an example. The families, where a boy sees his father respecting every woman-.. I dont think that boy needs to be taught to respect women. it's the environment in which a child is raised, teaches itself a lot.

Can't put better than this. Parents can never stop worrying for their kids..whatever their age is...in adolescence, we r worried they will hurt themselves , in teenage we r worried they will hide stuff and fall in bad company..in adulthood we r worried they choose the right partner or if we choose one for them, they are settled ..for working boys and girls , all parents r concerned that they r back home on time..if they r not, at least they know where they are ...

and yes..fathers must also set a precedent, like they say , the first school is the home itself. Our children will be no different than how we are.

One thing we must all understand is that children will make mistakes , even if they do , we must support them completely and help them heal if they are in trouble.

Off topic but i really like your siggy

Originally posted by: Krinya

Can't put better than this. Parents can never stop worrying for their kids..whatever their age is...in adolescence, we r worried they will hurt themselves , in teenage we r worried they will hide stuff and fall in bad company..in adulthood we r worried they choose the right partner or if we choose one for them, they are settled ..for working boys and girls , all parents r concerned that they r back home on time..if they r not, at least they know where they are ...

and yes..fathers must also set a precedent, like they say , the first school is the home itself. Our children will be no different than how we are.

One thing we must all understand is that children will make mistakes , even if they do , we must support them completely and help them heal if they are in trouble.

Brilliant line

But when it comes to daughters or sisters parents and brothers mostly do not support if mistake happens

Even if mistake is by parents themselves like anupama mom married her to ravaan vanraj but never helped her 26 years to get out of shah home

And by brothers like anuj who marry sisters to brute but when come to know never help them come out of abusive husband home as they do not want divorced or widowed sister and her kids in their home with their wife and kids

That is why girls and woman bear all abuse physica mental like anupam anad Malvikka and stay with husband for life

Also economically woman are weak, like only 22% woman above 10th std have jobs in india 78% do not have. So they have no where to go but suffer. Even law favours men more although they say its womaen oriented. Look at me too in companies and bollywood the girls who raised voice have no jobs those accused are still on job and making money.

The major reason women in advanced country will not take beatings and mental abuse for long from husband and leave s because they can get job and govt support easily for themselves and their kids. Society too does not judge single or divorced or widow women so they can leave as soon as husband hits or abuses than stay 27 years with them

Not everyone will get anuj kapadia, 99.9999% will not get have to fight on own. No bapuji or samar or mother or Malvika or anuj will help them actually in real life unlike anupama. Anupama must thank 1 million Gods everyday for getting an anuj kapadia actually even in USA they will not get such supporting guy.

Thats why woman suffer in silence

Because most people including highly educated females believe women are created solely for pleasuring men and reproduce. There is a saying you are what you think of, since most men view women as sex commodity, whenever they see their daughters or sisters with other men the first thought that comes to their mind is this guy is mentally stripping my daughter or sister because that's what they do when they see a girl other than their blood relatives. Their protective instinct towards their daughters and sisters stems from the monsters hidden in their closets. Their concern is their insecurity. They cage the girls because they can't cage their desires. There is no rules for boys as boys don't get raped by girls. Since human beings are selfish, they only think about themselves. So they make rules for their daughters to protect them but they let their sons roam free as their sons can't be harmed by others daughters. They never for once feel that their sons can commit the same crimes to others' daughters which they fear of being committed to their daughters. If despite of controlling girls parents taught boys to control their desires then the world would have been a much better place. But then men will lose the freedom to fantasize any women they see.. So they found out the easiest way. Cage your own daughters while preying on others' daughters. Toshu and V are male chauvinists so they will always consider any man with Pakhi as a threat because they have been a threat to many girls. Anuj and Samar respects woman so they are giving benefit of doubt to Adhik as they themselves have always been respectful towards girls. The rule made to protect girls is actually destroying them while protecting boys' freedom to have any girl they want.

Originally posted by: myviewprem

Brilliant line

But when it comes to daughters or sisters parents and brothers mostly do not support if mistake happens

Even if mistake is by parents themselves like anupama mom married her to ravaan vanraj but never helped her 26 years to get out of shah home

And by brothers like anuj who marry sisters to brute but when come to know never help them come out of abusive husband home as they do not want divorced or widowed sister and her kids in their home with their wife and kids

That is why girls and woman bear all abuse physica mental like anupam anad Malvikka and stay with husband for life

Also economically woman are weak, like only 22% woman above 10th std have jobs in india 78% do not have. So they have no where to go but suffer. Even law favours men more although they say its womaen oriented. Look at me too in companies and bollywood the girls who raised voice have no jobs those accused are still on job and making money.

The major reason women in advanced country will not take beatings and mental abuse for long from husband and leave s because they can get job and govt support easily for themselves and their kids. Society too does not judge single or divorced or widow women so they can leave as soon as husband hits or abuses than stay 27 years with them

Thats why woman suffer in silence

It was like this , and it may still be.like this in many parts of India but it's changing and changing rapidly..we are moving to the other end of the spectrum infact , I fear that it's gonna break the very fabric of our society in the coming decades .

Law favour women more , itna ke women have started taking advantage of it. Yes our legal system is messed up . Women's rights r protected, but to enforce them is the duty of the law but the law takes years and years and nobody really want to get into it. Divorce laws favour women more than men.

More and more girls are getting educated , and working , at least in cities you will see that women are taking up all kinds of jobs. Whether it's my maid or any laborer, they send their kids to school. Divorce rate is at an all time high . Women are now more economically independent , more than ever before..its years and years of suppression, it will take time to get out of it .

as for suffering in silence in marriage , the current generation doesn't. Don't take anupama as the benchmark , these shows r what they used to be 30 yrs back 😆Now women like anupama are like role model for some bec they know it's impossible to be like her.

As for brothers and fathers taking a decision, I haven't seen it around me , in my extended family, or anyone except in the remote villages perhaps and remote villages itself r a thing of past with rapid development...not all fathers and brothers are unsupportive , it's a very generic statement to be made ... some are really very supportive , in general daughters are closer to their fathers than their moms.

Yes , there are a few things which are ingrained in us . I won't go into Indian vs western debate . There r a pros and cons of both . All I can say is , as parents it's our responsibility to empower our children so that they are independent , mature beings , better than our generation. Not turn out worse than us with the given freedom(which is happening alongside sadly )

Lastly I would like to add that I don't find anuj kapadia appealing . All that he does is be a puppy to anupama ..he is the other extreme. Blind faith is as dangerous as no trust ... He can have a voice and he can tell anupama that she is wrong sometimes. It's not ok to put someone on a pedestal as high as this . Anupama loves toxicity in the name of love . Anyone supporting her will fall to her level for me.

Ps I don't watch the show but I have an idea abt the story from the forum. That's why I reply only in the generic topics