Aik Sitam Aur(Thread 6) Usama Khan, Anmol Baloch ( ARY Digital ) - Page 110

Originally posted by: spnfan

Ushna accepted her mistake only after she was shown the mirror by Naima and zainab ended up in the hospital. She didn't realise it by herself by self analysing. She was planning on leaving the house and staying in a hostel until she heard about zainab being hospitalised.

We don't dwell deep into it because all this happened in one or two episodes whereas shehroze's mistakes are taking more episodes.

But dont you think that Ushna at least listens to others like Naima but Shehroz does not understand others except his mom. So that is where , Ushna learns and grows and Shehroz does not. Usko agar Zainab samjhaye , he takes it otherwise, Wahab samjhaye , same.

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

keeping aside all his angry outburst, this is at the heart of the problem. he doesn't feel that she is as into the relationship as he is. this makes him feel not only powerless but also upset and hurt. the issue isn't that she took care of zainab, the issue is:

1. she forgot

2. she didn't call back and let him what is going on.

now, we can dismiss that as a small issue but in his head, it wasn't. for him the fact that it completely slipped her mind shows that his activities/work wasn't that important to her. she wasn't paying attention at all.

...................

quoting my own post here as I wanted to add a few more points. lot of these clashes here between shehroze and ushna is about love languages -- how do we define love and how we define being loved. it is clear that both shehroze and ushna differ very widely on this. shehroze is a lot more expressive and therefore, he expects big actions. ushna is more low key and is often embarassed by these largesse gestures. instead, it is the quiet moments that get her humming. that also adds to the confusion on how shehroze processed this -- he saw it as rejection.

another issue is how we express our anger, our hurt and our discomfort. both shehroze and ushna are impulsive and have a tendency to blurt out whatever comes to mind. now how much is a momentary thing and how much of that is something they truly feel and believe in -- that can be hard to say. a good takeway is that we can't just randomly say stuff in anger even to our loved ones. we need to be careful with our tongue.

the other thought is "being a man" -- as spnfan noted, a man might have very different impression of ushna's actions and thoughts. I remember a conversation with my brother once -- we were talking about the recent laws around bars and access to liqour and the problem of drinking in society. as we discussed the various points (it was a long drive and we had time to kill), he said something to me that was curious -- "for some, the bar is the only place they feel they can be a man". I was totally taken aback and my jaw dropped. I couldn't understand what he meant. I mentioned this convo to a male friend/coworker on this and he just solemnly agreed. again, I was taken aback.

my point is that for whatever complex set of reasons, some men feel "they cannot be a man" at home or in office and feel lost and robbed. (so they drown themselves in liquour). some men need their ego to be massaged in order to feel they are important and central to their loved ones -- maybe it is just ego, maybe it is their way of feeling loved, who knows. so maybe shehroze is getting so hyper because he thinks that her forgetting was a huge sign of disrespect. hence, the derailed conversations and him insulting her -- it is a bit of emotional payback perhaps from his view...

Originally posted by: Renee.Clare

Yes , he started as a villain but his actions were no less than Shamsher. I wont lie, even i used to ship them in the name of beauty and beast but with time , i started to learn how probelamtic it could be.. I still feel Shehroz is not harmful when i compare him with other male leads but that is my opinion. He needs to learn and grow , and he is more of a kiddish guy who has not grown but not evil .

Really? I watched some but then I lost interest lol 😂

Shehroz is not harmful he is an idiot but look what we are comparing him with though. That’s like saying Shehroz is better than Shahrukh from Anjam- character wise not acting 😂😂😂

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

quoting my own post here as I wanted to add a few more points. lot of these clashes here between shehroze and ushna is about love languages -- how do we define love and how we define being loved. it is clear that both shehroze and ushna differ very widely on this. shehroze is a lot more expressive and therefore, he expects big actions. ushna is more low key and is often embarassed by these largesse gestures. instead, it is the quiet moments that get her humming. that also adds to the confusion on how shehroze processed this -- he saw it as rejection.

another issue is how we express our anger, our hurt and our discomfort. both shehroze and ushna are impulsive and have a tendency to blurt out whatever comes to mind. now how much is a momentary thing and how much of that is something they truly feel and believe in -- that can be hard to say. a good takeway is that we can't just randomly say stuff in anger even to our loved ones. we need to be careful with our tongue.

the other thought is "being a man" -- as spnfan noted, a man might have very different impression of ushna's actions and thoughts. I remember a conversation with my brother once -- we were talking about the recent laws around bars and access to liqour and the problem of drinking in society. as we discussed the various points (it was a long drive and we had time to kill), he said something to me that was curious -- "for some, the bar is the only place they feel they can be a man". I was totally taken aback and my jaw dropped. I couldn't understand what he meant. I mentioned this convo to a male friend/coworker on this and he just solemnly agreed. again, I was taken aback.

my point is that for whatever complex set of reasons, some men feel "they cannot be a man" at home or in office and feel lost and robbed. (so they drown themselves in liquour). some men need their ego to be massaged in order to feel they are important and central to their loved ones -- maybe it is just ego, maybe it is their way of feeling loved, who knows. so maybe shehroze is getting so hyper because he thinks that her forgetting was a huge sign of disrespect. hence, the derailed conversations and him insulting her -- it is a bit of emotional payback perhaps from his view...

Wo upar wali quoted post kis page par hai ? I missed it

Originally posted by: Renee.Clare

I guess, i will continue both , i want proper redemption of Shehroz, if they give,i am all in 😂😂

Usmol to chalta rahega show ke sath 🤣 te pass 🤣

You do that hun, but he is dead to me 😂😂😂😂

Originally posted by: Renee.Clare

Wo upar wali quoted post kis page par hai ? I missed it

kekeke.. you didn't. just click on the "orginally posted by xx" and it will take you to the post if you don't remember...

We are comparing apple and orange if we judge Zainab- Ushna same as Shehroz-Naima. Ushna is not someone who would trust someone blindly that she would shut down her working brain cells, not even Zainab. She would never take Zainab's side when it's not required. She didn't speak anything when Naima-Zainab got into argument on Sufiyan after attack on Shehroz. It was not required. At this point, she saw that 3 of them have ganged up against Zainab and they were trying to bully her for a piece of jewellery. They did not even think to give her benefit of doubt as a family member. There's a reason Shehroz and Naima's relation is like unhealthy while other is just mother and daughter. Ushna doesn't carry Zainab as handbag. Zainab can manipulate Ushna, but she'll not get manipulated beyond a point. Mother-daughter have liberty to ask cross questions to each other, it's not blind worshipping. The relationship between Shehroz-Naima is like hukum dena, Naima is acting like crazy Nagin when Shehroz refuse to take her order for the first time..

Other issues clearly visible in that home are - Inequality and favouritism. It's like my mom should be worshipped because I'm man and your mom should be thrown in a corner because your are woman. Most filthy mentality. The inauguration thing was blown out of proportion when she had given a valid reason of not going. Shehroz had cancelled important meeting when Naima was sitting on hunger strike, he would have faced loss at that time as well, but it was not thrown on Naima's face even once. But Ushna is getting the reminder again and again when she has given a valid reason. That's because Naima is favourite and Ushna is not.

Ushna needs to raise her voice loudly because to act like a mute Gopi bahu would cost her a lot and Zainab shouldn't even try to shut her mouth. No sane person would give option to choose between mother and husband and that too when his obsession with his mother has crossed every limit of suffocation. I wish Ushna had got a chance to choose Zainab, but Nagin Naima would not give that chance, she's too excited to commit suicide.

Originally posted by: vibha28

Who says we have forgiven Ushna? When she talks like Shehroz did then she will get it too. Shehroz says things when there is no need and when Ushna becomes misandrist we will talk about that too.

Why are we comparing mother son, mother daughter relationship to husband wife relationships? They are two very different relationships. Mother -son-daughter is different love compared to husband and wife relationship. Shehroz can forgive his mother we don’t have to. Ushna can forgive Shehroz too we don’t have to, and Shehroz Ushna can forgive Naima even if she does wrong, we don’t have to. That way we can forgive Romeo too but we won’t.

They are end game but doesn’t mean I have to like it. Ushna maybe has gone through a lot so maybe she can be emphatised with whereas Shehroz has not faced any of that. In his mind he was neglected and maybe he was but other than that he had a great life and he still ended up being a brat.

Also this line,” What we are ignoring here is ushna is also fully capable of being disrespectful if she gets manipulated by zainab the same way shehroze is being manipulated” like you said in your last post we can’t comment on what has not happened as yet. Otherwise why can’t we believe that Shehroz will go even lower than he has or why wouldn’t he would have asked zunaisha to leave her job?

Whatever may the relationship be but trust should be there in any relationship, right?

Ushna didn't trust the woman who brought her up and said really mean things. Shehroze also is gonna say mean things to his wife because he is doubting the love she has for him.

A newly married couple's relationship will definitely won't be as strong as a mother-child relationship. Esp if the marriage was arranged and both have already seen the worst of each other.

Why do we expect shehroze to trust Ushna's love for him over his mother's simply because they are married? Trust comes with time and ushroze's relationship is very new. It's easy to have misunderstanding and fights over it.

I would have understand that there should be immense trust b/w husband and wife if they married each other after being in a relationship and already knows each other well. That's not the case with ushroze.

Shehroze did trust ushna when she said she didn't said no to marriage because of sufiyan when shehroze had all the reasons not to trust her words. He has multiple times witnessed ushna and sufiyan together and that too in intimate scenarios for pak drama standards.

As a newly married guy who is in love it's perfectly normal for him to think ushna don't care enough for him when she forgot about his event. Ushna isn't that expressive with her feelings for shehroze either. He exactly isn't the brightest bulb out there to understand ushna without her expressing herself. Ushna on the other hand seems to understand shehroze more and she knows how to handle his temper tantrums. She kind of knows she has more power in the relationship. Shehroze acts out because he knows he is on the loosing end.

Also we already witnessed ushna being disrespectful after being manipulated. It's not something that didn't happen.

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

quoting my own post here as I wanted to add a few more points. lot of these clashes here between shehroze and ushna is about love languages -- how do we define love and how we define being loved. it is clear that both shehroze and ushna differ very widely on this. shehroze is a lot more expressive and therefore, he expects big actions. ushna is more low key and is often embarassed by these largesse gestures. instead, it is the quiet moments that get her humming. that also adds to the confusion on how shehroze processed this -- he saw it as rejection.

another issue is how we express our anger, our hurt and our discomfort. both shehroze and ushna are impulsive and have a tendency to blurt out whatever comes to mind. now how much is a momentary thing and how much of that is something they truly feel and believe in -- that can be hard to say. a good takeway is that we can't just randomly say stuff in anger even to our loved ones. we need to be careful with our tongue.

the other thought is "being a man" -- as spnfan noted, a man might have very different impression of ushna's actions and thoughts. I remember a conversation with my brother once -- we were talking about the recent laws around bars and access to liqour and the problem of drinking in society. as we discussed the various points (it was a long drive and we had time to kill), he said something to me that was curious -- "for some, the bar is the only place they feel they can be a man". I was totally taken aback and my jaw dropped. I couldn't understand what he meant. I mentioned this convo to a male friend/coworker on this and he just solemnly agreed. again, I was taken aback.

my point is that for whatever complex set of reasons, some men feel "they cannot be a man" at home or in office and feel lost and robbed. (so they drown themselves in liquour). some men need their ego to be massaged in order to feel they are important and central to their loved ones -- maybe it is just ego, maybe it is their way of feeling loved, who knows. so maybe shehroze is getting so hyper because he thinks that her forgetting was a huge sign of disrespect. hence, the derailed conversations and him insulting her -- it is a bit of emotional payback perhaps from his view...

I completely agree on this. it depends on how some people take it. It is not only Shehroz and Ushna, even i say a lot of hurtful things to my own people in anger. And i have listened the same. The point is in dramas , ws expect the characters to be too ideal but when we notice, we do realise ,they are nothing but our own reflections. I say a lot of things in anger but i never meant them from heart. They are all temporary. That is why I asked Priya about whether she thinks shehroz and Ushna only cross limits when angry , normally they are fine.

I have seen men around me all kinds of and they do cross lines when it comes to with their words at times but in actions they are all cool. Sometimes, people dont even know whar they are saying ,they just say it when things start to go out of their control to hurt the other person without realising that words cant be taken back and can even destroy relationships. So choosing words wisely is very much needed.

I think it also depends on the environment. Ushna comes from a conservative society where female leaders or an outspoken female is considered bad. From story view it may make perfect sense but otherwise it’s whitewash.

Your brothers example is good and I can actually understand why his friend said that. In our family my youngest brother is married to an African American and we honestly had no clue how to deal with her as the culture is so different. She didn’t like us and initially we didn’t like her that much either but one thing we all knew is my baby bro loved her and that was enough. So yes when I do see a mis matched picture I focus on the overall big picture.

I will never forgive Shehroz, same way I won’t forgive Naima or Romeo. Some things for me is not redeeming and even though he will repent and say sorry and Ushna will forgive him and she is entitled to her feelings I can’t. I have only appreciated very few ML’s and was thinking Shehroz would be one of those but he isn’t that’s more the pity.

Shehroz can think whatever he wants he ends up regretting it every time just like failed plans of Romeo and cunningness of Naima so that’s nothing new, but it shows his personality and I don’t like it one bit.