Hi Everyone!!
After last night's episode, Divvy (fanktlk) and I had a brainstorming session and the below OS is the result of that. It is a two-part OS. Posting the first part now. Happy reading!!
Part One
MeetA kept staring at his palms, fisting them, releasing them, even as a part of him was making a conscious effort to keep his face pleasant and neutral. Raj, Babita and Ragini were discussing the upcoming Lohri arrangements. He smiled and nodded. There were no frowns or bewildered looks so he must be dishing out his reactions with fair accuracy. But his mind kept going back to the moment when Manushi had been about to fall and he broke it by picking her up in his arms. It felt awkward as hell. It felt wrong. Even though he didn’t have any lascivious thoughts, not even remotely, it felt wrong. He had seen her about to fall and the only thing that struck him had been - another fall, another hurt, longer stay. So he’d jumped in. His arms that always had been happy picking up Meet at a moment's notice and carrying her all around for little or no reason, had felt heavy and…burdened. Hell, it just felt…wrong. So he had put her down, played deaf ear for her sorrys and thank yous and walked out of the kitchen only to come face to face with MeetH. He had been prepared for her questions or that little frown of hers as her eyes questioned, ke hua? But she hadn’t said anything. Merely walked up the stairs towards their room. He wanted to follow her but his dad had called and he lost his chance.
The dinner table was almost full. Everyone has started passing on the dishes and were digging in. But his plate was empty, as was the chair beside his. The slip from the stool could’ve been an accident of course but his trust and Manushi Hooda didn’t go hand in hand. And it was not just with Manushi. That was his nature. His personality. He was either all in or all out. Love, hate, friendship, trust…his emotional grid had very clear demarcations and once he moved from one grid to another, there was no going back to the previous one. If he trusted a person, he gave it his 100% but once that was broken, there was no rebuilding it. That grid is forever closed to that person.
He had given his all to Manushi and their budding relationship. There had been a time when he felt his insides were getting ripped out by her betrayal and his own heartbreak. But he had moved on. With Meet. As for Manushi, yes, it could’ve been an accident but he wasn’t willing to place his bets on that. Ignoring Manushi and the bowl of sabzi she was extending towards him, he excused himself and strode up to his room.
“Meet, kaha ho? Dinner start hogaya aur tum…” His words and his feet came to a halt as he saw MeetH stepping out of the bathroom, clutching her stomach, eyes shadowed with a kind of pain that had him rushing towards her. “Meet! Kya hua? Tabiyat teek nahi hain? Hospital jaana hain? Ruk, mein doctor ko phone karta hoon…tum pehle yaha baito. Nahi. Leit jao. Sambhalke…”
Ignoring her, “kuch na hua hain manne. Tu ja khaana khale…” he adjusted her pillows and got her feet tucked under the blanket. “Arre sunn toh, meri sunega bhi ya apna hi sunaata rahega? Kuch na hua hain. Yo…g-ghar gayi thi na…waha teekhe pani puri kuch zyaada hi khaliye aur jarasi pet mein jalan horahi hain. Subah tak teek hojayegi. Tu ja aur…”
But her words only deepened his scowl. “Waah! Shabad ki Don ho iska yeh matlab nahi ki tum kuch bhi karsakti ho aur tumhe kuch nahi hoga. Mirchi khagayi! Pagal ladki! Jalan toh hogihi. Tum rest karo mein…mein tumhe haldi ka doodh laata hoon. Tum yahi ruko. Hilna nahi.”
“Yahi toh hoon, mein kahaa jaaungi.”
He stopped at the door and turned at those words. Not because they were new to him. But she sounded different as she said them. Tired. Like she was hurting. Even her eyes were glazed in pain. He smiled for her benefit and went to get the milk. Needless to say, everyone at the table exclaimed in concern when he said MeetH was not feeling well.
“Mein dekhti hoon! Yeh ladki bhi na, humesha si aise hi hain jiju…” Manushi got up from her chair.
“No, thanks. I’ll take care of her. You please have your dinner.”
Taking the milk glass from Ragini, he went back to his room. MeetH was awake, her eyes looked lost. His own fluttered as his guilty conscience pricked. Did she see Manushi in his arms? Pushing his thoughts aside, he gently got her to sit up and drink the milk. She was reluctant, tried to hand him the glass back after a few sips. But he was having none of it. He held it to her mouth until the last drop went in. Her not-so-noiseless burp got them both chuckling a little. But her eyes hadn’t lost that wan look, he thought, wiping her mouth, his fingers gently gliding over her cheek. Meet sad, without her usual perky grin and saucy comebacks, didn’t sit well with him.
“Kya hua Meet? Sab…teek? Kuch hua hain kya? Mujhe batao!”
Her smile then felt a tad bit more natural. “Kuch na hain. Mein teek hoon. Ab ja aur manne sone de.” Deciding to talk to her again the next day, he got her settled on her pillow, tucked in her blanket. But lost in their own turmoil, it was a restless night for both of them.
****
Lohri - day dawned slightly cloudy but the weather remained dry with a mild wind. In other words, a perfect day to celebrate the festival that signified both the harvest and also the end of winter solstice. A perfect day to step out onto the terrace and fly kites. MeetA was yet to buy the gift for MeetH’s first Lohri at their house. He glanced at MeetH. Whatever had been bothering and hurting her the previous day was still lingering in her eyes but in a nature that was so very typical of her, she was ignoring it and taking part in the festivities. The dress his mom had designed for her…she looked beautiful in that orange shade. But then again, she always did. If only there were no shadows in those eyes. MeetA saw her eyes following Tej and Sunaina. No. It was not just his brother and Sunaina bhabhi. She was watching everyone, smiling at their joy, laughing at Isha’s antics, grinning at something Ragini was saying…Just then Babita asked her to get something from the hall and she leapt up to do the bidding.
All in all, barring a few moments and a couple of pithy comments from Masoom and double entendre from Manushi, the day was going great, MeetA decided with a grin, helping out Isha by adjusting the string of her kite. Masoom, on the other side, tugged on the same string.
“Aaah!” MeetA yelped.
Manushi, who was closest to him, came running. “Arre, jiju, yeh kya?” And sucked his cut finger. Before his family could register the act, he tugged his finger away, freeing his hand from her grip, glared at her naughty eyes and grinning face and strode away. He didn’t say a word the rest of the time on the terrace but he was simmering on the inside. Babita bandaged his finger and after making sure he was not going to faint dead away from all that blood loss, she reluctantly left his side. He waited through it all. Waited until everyone went down for snacks and evening tea. Waited until it was only him and Manushi left on the terrace.
“Ab haath kaisa hain jiju?” Manushi asked, picking up the last of the kites into a bundle.
“Will you just stop it!” he snapped.
“Stop…what?”
“Whatever it is you are doing. I don’t know why you’re doing it and I don’t want to know. Just stop it.”
“If you don’t want to know and if you don’t feel anything anymore, why did you pick me up in your arms yesterday? Why didn’t you just let me fall?”
MeetA controlled his flinch at that reminder. Guilt and fury at himself rose once again to the forefront.
“It’s not that easy,” Manushi’s quiet voice reached him as he turned to go. “To let go and walk away. To forget the past and what we meant for each other not so long ago…”
His face that already resembled that of a carved stone, firmed some more. “Stop. None of it matters. I’m married now. So whatever it is, you need to stop it.”
MeetH looked around the hall. No didi. No Daudu Ram. Frowning, she took the stairs leading to the terrace. Halfway through, she saw MeetA coming down, with a face that resembled a thundercloud. “Ke hua? Arre suno toh!” She called out, when he didn’t reply or even slow his pace down. The emotional rollercoaster didn’t seem to end for her. Determinedly, pushing her feelings into the background, she went up the stairs.
“Didi?” she called out, stepping onto the terrace.
Manushi was rolling up the thread back onto the charkhi. “Haan! Aarahi hoon! Buss do minute!”
MeetH’s frown deepened. Going closer, she tugged at her sister’s arm, forcibly turning her so she can look at her face. With tears rolling down her cheeks. “Arre didi, ke hua? Ro kyu rahi hain?”
Manushi shook her head, wiping away her face and tears in a hasty gesture, her laugh as brittle as her voice. “Arre kuch nahi, Meet. Buss aankh mein kuch girgaya!”
“Didi! Aankh mein kuch girne se dil ko ghaav nahi lagta. Saaf dikhraha hain tu apne dil ka ghaav chupa rahi hain. Manne bata, baat ke hain? Daudu Ram ne…mera matlab, Meet ne kuch kaha kya?”
Manushi shook her head. “Nahi. Kuch nahi. Arre sachhi. Usne kuch nahi kaha,” she asserted when MeetH opened her mouth to press the issue. “Aur woh kahega bhi toh kya kahega, Meet? Hum dono ko pata hain ki ab kuch kehne se koi fayda nahi hain. Bahut der hochuki hain.”
MeetH could feel where this was going but she wanted to know. She had to know. She had to be sure. “Matlab ke hain?”
“Kuch nahi Meet. Tu yeh sab mat soch. Humne na…apne dimaag se sachh ko maan liya hain. Buss dil ko manana hain.” Smiling through her tears, she hugged MeetH. “Itna sab kuch hua hain. Woh bhi hojayega. Tumhe apne sasural mein pehli Lohri bahut bahut mubarak, Meet! Love you. Ab chalo, sab wait karrahe honge na!”
MeetH nodded.
****
MeetA had his shower and got into his tracks and t-shirt. His mood was still not back to normal. He tried to work but when he realized he was reading the same report for the 4th time without a word of it going into his head, he snapped his laptop shut. He groaned. Dammit!! He hadn’t bought anything for Meet. First the Manushi thing and on top of it this! With another groan, he covered his face. And then he heard her enter the room, as quietly as his Meet was capable of. But for once, he wished she would leave him alone. He was in no mood to talk or listen to her lectures on how it’s good to let it all out.
“Ke hua? Aisa kyu muh latkake baita hain?” Urrgghh! He should’ve known she wouldn’t leave him alone. “Manne bata, kya hua?”
“Kuch nahi hua hain, Meet. Chodo.”
“Arre bata na,” she didn’t yell. She gently coaxed. “Meine Mannu didi se baat ki,” she slowly added.
Oh great! Manushi probably told her he was rude and refusing her gesture of jija sali friendship! “Kisi ko bhi yehi lagega ki mein shaayad galat kar raha hoon. Par kisi ko yeh nahi dikh raha ki mere dil par kya beet rahi hai. I’m trying, OK? I’m genuinely trying. But I can’t explain, Meet. Ab isse zyada kahunga toh tum hurt hogi aur mein yeh kabhi nahi chahta ki tum hurt ho aur woh bhi meri wajah se.”
MeetH sat quietly for a few moments. Her smile was sad and resigned as she took in his profile. Absorbed it. His feelings haven't come as a surprise to her. A part of her had always known it, expected it. She had known he was doing his best to adjust his expectations and move on with her. There were times when she felt she could hope. That there was hope for her. But the moment Mannu didi stepped into AH, she had known that it was nothing but a pipe dream. That was the reason she hadn’t told anyone about Mannu didi’s marriage too. That moron cheated her sister. It was not Mannu didi’s fault. And the result of all that was, Mannu didi was now a changed person. And she was in love with Daudu Ram. And from the conversation now, it was obvious that Daudu Ram too loved her. But neither of them would say anything. Ever. Neither of them wanted to hurt her.
MeetH blinked away the threatening tears. “Theek hain. Toh phir mein jaati hoon.”
Wow! Meet Alhawat! You’ve made a real memorable first Lohri for your wife! First you don’t buy her any gift. Second, you snap at her for caring about your feelings. Cursing himself, MeetA turned to apologize but she wasn’t there. He sighed. In the mood he was in, he’d better wait until next morning before talking to her. He would calm down by then.
****
Babita was brushing her hair before turning in for the night. “Today’s Lohri was good na, Raj? Everything went well.”
Raj nodded. “Aur Meet bahu badi pyaari lagrahi thi aapke design kiya hua dress pehenke, Babita ji! Sachh mein! Kamaal kardiya aapne!”
Babita’s smile was pleased and proud. “And Manushi has begun to get along well with everyone na.” Ignoring the fact that Raj was no longer smiling, she went on, “That girl has wonderful taste. She has class. The way she carries herself…I must say Raj, I was impressed…”
There was a gentle knock on the door followed by MeetH’s voice. “Badedilwale uncle ji, aunty ji, mein andar aajau?”
“Meet beta, aajao. Andar aajao.” MeetH came inside but when she immediately didn’t say anything, Raj prompted her, “Kya baat hain beta?”
“Manne aapse…mera matlab hain…aap dono se kuch baat karni hain.” Babita too came and stood beside Raj at that. “Aap please manne galat mat samjhiyega par…”
“Bolo Meet, kya kehna hain tumhe?”
“Manne lagta hain Mannu didi ab bhi Daudi Ram se…mera matlab, Meet se bahut pyar karti hain. Aur Meet bhi usse bhula nahi paya hain. Bahut dard hota hain usko.”
“Par beta…” Raj began disputing.
“N-nahi. Aap manni baat suno. Pleaj. Aapne aur aunty ji ne manne jimmedari di ki mein aapke bete ke dil mein jagah banau. Uske ghaav ko bhoolne mein uski madad karu. Meine kosis bhi ki. Lekin mein phail hogayi. W-woh aaj bhi Mannu didi ko chaahta hain. Kisise kuch kahega nahi par chahta hain. W-woh sochta hain h-humari s-shadi hogayi…uski s-shadi hogayi mujhse t-toh u-uske koi haq na hain. L-lekin yeh shadi uski marjise na hue na, badedilwale uncle ji? Humara jo y-yeh rishta hain, yeh aapke bete ke marji ka na hain. Yeh rista uspe thopa gaya tha. A-aur kisi par aisa thopke jindagi gujarneko bolna…yeh toh g-galat baat haina?”
“Par beta, Meet khush hain tere saath!”
MeetH shook her head rapidly, taking that chance to swallow down the threatening tears. “Na uncle ji. Woh khus na hain. Manne dekha. Manne suna. Na Mannu didi khus hain na aapka beta. M-mein jaanti hoon jo didi ne kiya galat kiya. Bahut galat kiya par galati toh sab se hojaati haina? Iska yi matlab toh nahi ki jindagi bhar uss ek galati ki saja bhukto?” Raj opened his mouth but MeetH overrode once again. “Na! Aap s-subah manne se bola, Sunaina ki aise jabardasti sadi karke kahi galati toh nahi kya. Bola tha na?” She turned to Babita. “Toh Meet ke liye mujhse shadi bhi jabardasti hi thi na. Manne na pata Sunaina bhabhi ke naseeb mein ke likha hain par itna jaroor pata hain ki Meet ko apne naseeb badalne ka ek aur mauka diya hain Bhagwaan ne. Mannu didi ke saath Meet ki k-khusiya judi hain. Aur aap uski khusi chahte ho na. Aur Mannu didi aapke ghar mein ghulmil jaayegi. W-woh mere jaisi na hain. Aapke jaisi hain. Aap apne friends ko introduce karoge na, aapko achha lagega. Koi awkward feel na hovega.”
“Lekin Meet beta…” Raj implored, almost helplessly.
MeetH grabbed his palms, this time making no effort to hold her tears back. Or maybe holding them back had become an impossible task. “Badedilwale uncle ji, aapka dil sachmuch bada hain. Lekin ab aap manne baare mein sochna band karo aur apne bete ke baare mein socho. Uski khusi ke baare mein. Iss thope hue riste se usko aajaad kardo.”
“Aur tum beta? Tera kya hoga?”
“Manne…” MeetH’s attempt at chuckle ended up in a small hiccup. Taking a deep breath, she tried again. “Ek achhi beti, ek achhi bahu dono saath na banpayi mein. Ab saayad ek achhi beti banne ka waqt hain. Ijaajat deejiye uncle ji, aunty ji.”
****
Book Talk
Ye Hai Mohabbatein
