I have seen people going Meet Hooda is weak now, she doesn't have self respect, the female lead from Bengali was this that. As someone who closely observed Meet Hooda's character, I wanted to point out some things. Firstly, Bokul and Meet aren't the same. They are completely different people who lived completely different lives and the argument that Bokul didn't change herself is kind of skewed, well I won't elaborate on it. My focus is on Meet Hooda and let's just keep it at that.
Meet Hooda, who was born with a twin brother who instantly passed away, from what we see on the show grew up hearing this every moment from Dadi that, she failed as she took birth by killing her brother and she's been "manhoos" or ominous to everyone around her. Even in a scenario where Ashok Hooda is alive, its pretty much sure that this is what Meet Hooda heard all her life and she never got the acceptance from two members in her family. In such a scenario as Ashok Hooda passes away, she loses the biggest support system she had, and she jumps in as the breadwinner of the family and thus becoming very responsible and mature at a young age.
While I agree she is very selfless to take the whole responsibility of the house being youngest, is it the only reason? I would say no. Meet Hooda on the surface level comes off as selfless but the truth is, deep inside she craves for validation and acceptance from her family, but all that she has ever got is emotional abuse and ignorance. Dadi has conditioned her since childhood to think she is a failure and isn't good enough as her sister and even if she says she isn't bothered, she grew up to believe it. That's why she sometimes do things for her family even at the cost of herself because she badly needs that acceptance and she feels she's obliged to do it to make it up for the mistake that her existence is. She isn't thinking soundly about it, but in her subconscious that's how things are wired.
A classic example for this is, the wedding day fiasco. She strongly rejected the idea of her marrying Meet Ahlawat instead of Manushi even after the whole horoscope thing came up, but when did she agree? The major push for her to agree was when Dadi came in to convince her and told her things that made her feel Dadi is accepting her. That was the peak point for her to even consider getting married because it was a ray of hope for her, to get what she wanted all her life, the acceptance of her family.
Now coming to how she's behaving now, if you remember during her first encounter with Babita, Meet had given back quite aggressively to the insult she had gotten. But after marriage, even though Meet has stood up for herself we see she has toned down herself while talking to Babita and she seems to be trying to please her and do things for her. Even here, the reason is the same - family. Now Babita is her family and after shifting to the Ahlawats, the subconscious desire of Meet is the same, to feel accepted and validated by the family. Even here what she does at times is forgetting her own self to make others happy which is a part of her selfless personality but also shows the internal craving for acceptance.
When Ahlawat was in hospital she almost put herself at the risk of being anemic to donate him blood and still, when she met Rajvardhan what she said was she "failed". She literally did everything in her control and beyond but what she felt? that she failed! The intensity of trauma and abuse inflicted upon her by the Hoodas is humongous and its not just Dadi and Manushi. Its also Anubha, who keeps putting her in a pedestal and sees her as a tool that will fix everything for the family. In fact, the fundamental motive of the marriage was for Meet Hooda to get out of this household so that eventually she can get out of this pedestal and move towards her dreams.
"Me rotlu type ki na hu, bas kabhi kabhi emotional ho jati hun, papa ke saamne" — this isn't just an emotional dialogue. A lot about Meet Hooda's character is hidden behind this.
Ashok Hooda was her support system and quite literally her lifeline. Once he passed away she took up the whole responsibility of the family and became the pillar of the Hoodas. She couldn't fall weak in front of them, cry or complain in front of them. She is the typical "MALE" lead of an ITV show with a traumatic past. She has been suppressing all her pain, trauma and sufferings inside her ever since Ashok Hooda passed away because she feels obliged to be the stronger one who carries the family because she has been fed since childhood that her existence is a mistake!
The amount of pain she carries in her is beyond anything and its sad that she is conditioned to take such emotional abuse since childhood which is why now she thinks its normal even though she reacts to it most of the time. From the trailers of the show we see that she defies gender roles, but she has always been selfless. But the dark and sad side to her being selfless unfolded as the show proceeded.
Now she has found a person alternative to Ashok Hooda in front of whom she can cry, break down and share her pain.
Meet Hooda isn't a perfect person. She is a young girl who went through extreme trauma and emotional abuse from her family for years which played its own role in how she is as a person. As much Dhakkad she is and she shows to be, she is broken from inside. She thinks she isn't good enough. Her self depreciating and self blaming behaviour comes from years long emotional damage which needs attention.
Meet Ahlawat got hurt about his humiliation and reacted rightly so as he should because he grew up in a healthy family where everything was nice and good, he knows what he is worthy of and what he deserves. At the same time when Manushi eloped, Meet felt its her fault and she has been under that guilt all this time when they were married and that resulted in her meek reactions to things.
The show is her journey, her journey of coming out of such confinements and conditioning she went through her whole life, to finally start her journey to achieve her ambitions. And its Meet Ahlawat, the ying to her yang who'll be with her in this journey, to tell her its okay not to be okay, its fine to think about yourself at times and its okay if you cannot be there for people at times and most importantly to tell her, She is ENOUGH, she is WORTHY, she is amazing the way she is. So judging her right now would be the most foolish thing to do because she is a damaged product of child abuse and trauma that lasted almost a life time for her.
Dark pasts and character arcs aren't just for male leads, here the tables are turned, and this is her journey of becoming a strong, determined, ambitious police officer, realizing her worth and finding love. But that doesn't mean she is any less amazing now, to be kind, to forgive and to do things for people and care for them unconditionally takes a lot and Meet Hooda, is the strongest of all. :)
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