'Anuj ko apne mann mein aane de' Bapuji's intriguing words resonated in her head as she turned around to walk back to the car.
That ghastly feeling as though the fragile lining to her heart was pinched and prodded, uncovering the most concealed and frail part of it...the part she had pitifully hidden away for good and never wished to meddle with it again...
But here she was, powerless and at a loss of words when the one person she could turn to for advice after her Kanhaji was counselling her to open up her heart to him... him!!! she thought as her eyes filled with fervour and gratitude when she glanced at the guy in blue, stood at an endearing distance, leaning against his red car, patiently waiting for her.
In that moment she was exasperated and sensed a bout of guilt for not realising how relentless he was with his efforts, how he stood there the entire time without flinching even once. How he knew his boundaries and never once thought of intervening in her family matters but waited unremittingly in case she needed him...
Her seeming indifference or lack of appreciation for him wasn't intentional, it was because their relationship wasn't one where they needed constant validation to each others efforts, their vow to stand by each other was unspoken and understood only between them.
She still thought she owed him an apology and also a whole lot of recognition for his unconditional love, the kind of love that Bapuji just prompted her about, the purest Radha-Krishn kind...
The procession in the street jolted her more and drove the point home that they were meant to be together, Anu and Anuj together as MaAn.
Reluctantly she saw the symbolism when he appeared right by her, eyes closed in devotion, hands folded in veneration and she could now see the blurred reflection of the idols she celebrated.
It was all happening too soon for her, she could barely accept that she was deserving of love but 'he certainly was' she thought...It dawned upon her in that moment, that she could give herself another chance on life and love, for him... for Anuj who deserved to be loved back...
Bapuji's guidance helped her see how she was the only one who could fill that void in Anuj's life...until now she had assumed herself to be unworthy of reciprocating his love owing to the daunting baggage she carried but it would be unfair to discredit him of his unrequited love.
Trying to get a grip on her mind numbingly busy emotions, she staggered back when he innocently asked "Anupama tum mere saath aa rahi ho?" and in that passionately weak moment she said yes, yes to him?
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sorry guys, could only manage this short part, I know its not even worth calling it an update... I do want to write about the car ride too but can't find the time. will try to post a second chotu sa part tonight but I'd rather not promise.. hope you liked whatever you read. batana zaroor😊
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