Can you believe we're at part 8? I can't believe I haven't given up yet 😆 Par kya karun, inn dono ka bukhaar waapis keench le hi aata hai. So, part 8! Yeh chapter, Richa ke naam! For all the beautiful and hilarious analyses we get every time Parakshita drop dana for us hungry birds 😉
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Walking into the hospital should have been the easiest thing he’d ever done. His world was waiting inside that building. It should’ve been easy to put one foot in front of the other and walk into that room.
So why wasn’t it?
Was it because he’d said things that couldn’t be taken back?
Was it because he was scared?
Was it because he couldn’t face her after he’d proven her right? Again? She’d said that he still didn’t trust her. And here she was, proven right again.
A gentle push to his shoulder jolted him out of his thought. Kartik looked over with a puzzled look. “Bhai? Kya hua? Andar nahin chalna? Taiji aur Ishqi wait kar rahe honge.”
“Kartik…what if – what if she can’t forgive me? Maine jo kiya hai…uske baad, kya woh mujhe maaf kar paayegi? I didn’t trust her again. It took a lot of courage to begin trusting me again, but I did the same thing again. I’m not sure how to face her.”
“Bhai,” Kartik began, “aap dono jitna ek dusre ko hurt karte ho na, usse kahi zyada ek dusre se pyaar karte ho. Ishqi knew the risk she was taking when she decided to support Taiji. She was ready to risk what you had, because she wanted to right a very big wrong. When have you not known Ishqi to stand up for the right?”
Seeing his brother still unconvinced, he continued, “Bhai, believe me. She took this risk knowing that it could lead to a fracture in your relationship. Aapka aur uska relationship important hai, lekin aapka aur aapki mom ka relationship bhi utna hi important hai. And Ishqi knew kia ap dono ka rishta tab tak progress nahin kar sakta jab tak aapke dil mein Taiji ke liye kadwaahat thi. Mera toh mann karta hai ki Ahaan the Mahaan ka title change karke Ishqi ko de dena chahiye, ‘Ishqi the Mahaan’,” he added at the end. “Bhai usne itna bada risk liya hai. Jaake usko thank you toh bolo. Jitna aap darr rahe ho, utna darr usko bhi lag raha hoga. Usne aapke liye apni puri life line pe laga di. Ishqi ke paas toh koi back up plan bhi nahin tha. No fallback. You have me, Sonu, mom, dad. But her? She only had maasi. And she had no idea how this would turn out. Ab agar happy ending mil rahi hai, jiski wajah se mil rahi hai, usko toh thank you jaake bolo.” Seeing his hesitancy fading, Kartik gave him one final push. A physical one this time, down the hall towards where the happy ending waited. Please let it be a happy ending. No more drama and no more complications.
Kartik was right. He’d been thinking that a lot these past few days. Kartik had been right every time. And by proxy, Ishqi. Best friends and all that. He digressed.
It was time to face the music. He made his way down the hall, despite some hesitancy still hanging around his head. He’d have to face up eventually, might as well dive into the deep end.
Seeing her laying there, pale as the dead, machines beeping giving the only sign of life almost lost a day ago constricts his heart. He doesn’t realize that he had stopped breathing momentarily until his body screamed for air, lungs burning and black spots dancing in his vision. Gingerly, he put one foot in front of the other until his legs collapsed under him, his body barely making it onto the chair by her bed. The sound woke his snoozing mother on the other side of the bed. If Ishqi had woken up, she hadn’t been alone. And she still wouldn’t be. She’d never be alone again.
When Ishqi woke up after 18 hours and 34 minutes, Ahaan was beside her, holding her hand. His mother had long gone home to get some much-deserved rest at the repeated behest of her son. But only after extracting a promise to inform her of any change in Ishqi’s condition. She wakes up with her fingers clutched in his hand, his thumb stroking the back of her hand gently. When Ishqi opens her eyes, Ahaan forgets to breath for a minute.
“Aha-,” she coughs and winces. “Ahaan.” Her voice is rough from screaming the day before and prolonged disuse.
“Hey,” Ahaan smiles at her and leans forward to cup her cheek gently. “Ab kaisa feel kar rahi ho?”
“Main?” she asked. “Khud ko dekha hai? Kya haal bana rakha hai apna?”
He huffs out a laugh. Of course she would. “Ishqi tum – tum hospital mein ho, aur mujhse puch rahi ho maine apna kya haal bana rakha hai?”
A tired smile takes over her face as she nuzzles into his hand briefly, “Ab kisi bhi wife ko chinta hogi na agar uska pati, jo roz itna ban-tan ke bahar jaata hai, gel-wel laga ke, woh uske saamne aise baitha ho?” A hint of her usual mischief visible in her eyes.
“How? How can you be so…blasé about all of this Ishqi?” Was it really so easy for her? To forgive all that he has done? All that he has said? “Maine jo kiya, jo kaha, uske baad – how do you do it Ishqi? How can you forgive me so easily?” His voice breaks at the last part, and that’s it for Ishqi. All of a sudden, it’s her hand gently rising to his face, carefully wiping away tears that have fallen without his realizing. He lets his face rest in her hands for a minute, until she has to lower it from the pain of the exertion.
“Aapki high-fi English ke baare mein kya kaha hai maine? Ab iss ‘blasé’ ka matlab toh mujhe nahin pata, par itna pata hai ki aapne jo bhi kaha bura laga, lekin woh sab dadi ki sikhayi hui kadhwaahat thi. Who aapke words nahin the. Kyunki mere Ahaan mein itni nafrat nahin hai, ki woh itne kadhwe shabd mujhse kahein aur unhe khud hazaar gunah bura na lage.” She declared.
She should hate him. That’s what he tells himself. But he can’t help but be thankful that she doesn’t. That she’s still talking to him and even looking at him. Ahaan feels a lump in his throat, wanting to break free with more tears that have been backed up. He clears his throat, and mentions in what he hopes is a casual voice, “You never told me, that you write poetry?”
It’s rare that he gets to see a shocked Ishqi, but there it is. Subject successfully moved from complicated emotions. “Aapko kaise – ? Mera matlab hai aapne kab – ?”
“Ab apni diary khule purse mein rakhogi, aur tumhara devar use apne style mein room mein laayega, toh mujhe to kya, sabko pata chal jaayega.” He teased gently.
A sigh escapes Ishqi. Kartik…. “Chaliye, aapko ab pata hai. Ab likhti thi toh likhti thi.” She shrugs.
“Thi? Ab kyun nahin?”
Her words slow as exhaustion starts to take over her, “Bohot dinon se itna sab ho raha hai, ki likhne ka mann nahin kiya. Aur jab mann kar raha hai, tab diary yahan hai nahin.” He can see the tiredness in her eyes, when an idea strikes him.
Whipping out his phone, he rushes to say “Likh nahin paayi toh kya hua. Phone mein record kar lo. And later, likh lena.”
“Ahaan…”
“Ishqi, this is something you love. And it’s something you’ve been away from. I think it’s time to bring it back into your life and start doing something just for yourself.”
The love shining in her eyes threatens to take his breath away again, and she begins. Her words are lethargic as she struggles to fight sleep, but her eyes never waver from his as though trying to communicate every feeling she’s felt over the last few days.
Meri har saans hai kurbaan tujhpar
Teri zindagi ko apna mana hai
Ye safar zindagi ka hail amba aur mushkil mere yaar
Par bina ruke humein saath badhte hi jana hai
Forgiveness. She was offering him forgiveness.
The tears he was struggling to hold back finally made themselves known as he wept sitting beside his now sleeping wife. He didn’t deserve her, but sure as hell would spend the rest of his life making sure he did everything to make her think he was worthy of the esteem she held him in.
He would spend the rest of his life trusting her and making sure her trust in him never wavered.
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Sorrysorrysorry itna late ho gaya! I deleted the last few paragraphs and ended up re-writing. Not to mention, exam month just ended so thank god for that. Or I would've actually lost it. A whole month of just exams. Jisne exams ka ijaad kiya hai, usko dhoondhke maaro.
Every time I try to write a nice wholesome Ishqaan scene, my mind always goes back to that one scene where Ishqi is feeding him breakfast and he completely absent-mindedly guides the piece of paratha to her mouth after his bite, as if it's an automatic reaction and honestly that just fills me with happiness and makes me want to just squueeeeee-
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