Do you guys agree with Mumtaz's take on Boney/Sridevi? - Page 12

Originally posted by: HearMeRoar

Who knows? If she'd been educated and financially independent, she might have kicked the selfish hubby to the curb.

I think I'm failing to make something clear with my kids come first posts. You can't force a selfish adult into a situation without him actually taking the resentment out on you and the children in really bad ways. Then it will deteriorate into an abuse situation in some way. If it comes to that, then the wronged woman (or man) will have no option but to ask the other person to leave.

My point is that all parties really need to think of the actual helpless humans mixed up in the situation through no fault of their own. My point is based on the assumption that the father (or mother) is a decent human and loves the children more than anyone else in the world. Which would mean, (s)he'd swat the resentments away and focus on their wellbeing.

Originally posted by: BlackWitch

I wasn’t old enough to be a sap over him. It’s convenient to club an opposing opinion under favouritism 🤔

I’m a 90s child myself

I only like him cause I’ve heard some wild stories. An I love wild stories 😆

https://youtu.be/Ophdl3hK624

I learned when I was 8 that Children of broken homes end up airing that laundry in public

for example 😂

Originally posted by: Maroonporsche

https://youtu.be/Ophdl3hK624

I learned when I was 8 that Children of broken homes end up airing that laundry in public

for example 😂

yeah, biwi #1 was a great movie for life lessons. 😆

Originally posted by: SmittenKitten

yeah, biwi #1 was a great movie for life lessons. 😆

See I subscribe to that Sajid Khan (I do know he’s a creep) way of thinking that no film is gonna actually change anyone’s life. So anything that gets too preachy is just skipped. An I pick small lessons up from simpler movies 🍿

Originally posted by: Maroonporsche

See I subscribe to that Sajid Khan (I do know he’s a creep) way of thinking that no film is gonna actually change anyone’s life. So anything that gets too preachy is just skipped. An I pick small lessons up from simpler movies 🍿

The way they wrapped up Biwi # 1 had my head spinning out of control. Salman playing his player self and his fictional wife falling on his feet to come back to her life..... was dizzying to say the least!! 🤓

The only thing worth picking up from that movie is Chunari Chunari. It was shot in my city, so I love rewatching it to spot all the landmarks ... and I'm thinking of performing to it at a best friend's wedding whenever that happens.

I see this thread on page one every time and still have no idea what to comment on this..

What is there to credit Boney Kapoor for.. that he cheated on his wife and had enough guts to stand up for his cheating ways?

Or for Sridevi to steal husband of her best friend and to the fact in front of her best friend(Boney's wife) she was pretending him to be her brother. Samne Bhaiya Piche Saiyaa.

🤢

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

How dare you? 😡😆

To be honest, even for mature responsible adults, making the right choice is easier said than done. But yes, I wholeheartedly agree with the concept that we make choices and there are consequences for it. You won't be able to escape the consequences of your actions forever.

I am going to speak in general terms, outside of very specific celebrity relationships.

I do agree that marriage is a serious commitment. When you have kids, you have deepened that commitment. And you will always have a responsibility to your spouse and kids. That is why if there is a problem in the marriage, you have the responsibility to work on it. You have to do your best to salvage it. But salvaging means everyone finds a way to be happy and thrive. If there will be bitterness and resentment that you can't get over, it will lead to a very toxic environment. If your marriage risks becoming toxic, it is best to divorce.

Arranged marriages in India make the marriage commitment more complicated. Young men and women were forced or emotionally coerced and guilted into marrying someone their families chose for them. Not all families did a good job of considering compatibility. Also, divorce was taboo - especially for the woman. It basically entrapped people in bad marriages.

Going into specifics - Dharmendra was married to his wife at 19. They probably had kids out of obligation. It is not at all surprising that they drifted apart and he was enamored with a coworker with whom he spent a lot of time and had more chemistry. I don't think it was his fault that he married young and wanted to be with a different woman later. I don't think it was his wife's fault that divorce was a taboo and she had to be in a marriage with a man who didn't love her the way she deserved. I don't think it was Hema's fault for falling for someone either.

Similarly, Boney made a choice to leave his wife for Sridevi. I don't know the details and cannot judge if he made any effort to salvage his first marriage or how it came to be. But due to the taboo of divorce and separation, the woman was emotionally traumatized and continued to live with her in-laws.

Ultimately, in my view, the problem is a society that compels women to stay in unhappy marriages. Both Dharmendra and Boney's wives would be happier if society said - its not your fault he doesn't want in this marriage - you do you girl - you deserve to get out there and find your happiness.

I will always maintain society is at fault with its inflexibility.

Have you seen "The Long Pond Sessions?" In context, it makes a lot more sense. She talks about her personal journey of hating the women her boyfriends cheated on her and saying/writing mean things about and embracing the fact that they were humans too. Sometimes, life is too short to keep blaming someone for stealing what was yours.

Society is definitely at fault for making things worse for everybody involved. Indian society ,more so, with the arranged marriage situation where people don't have a say in it until it's too late.

However I'm still going to insist that at some point the married person in question has to take responsibility for the effect their decision has on the life of their first partner in a situation where all that went wrong in the marriage was the former falling out of love ( Which is being discussed here ) . You're aware of the limitations your society poses on your wife so when you decide to leave her because you have a new lover now and nothing else you have to accept you're putting her in a difficult situation. That it's not what she had signed up for.

When we assume one partner falling out of love is a sign of a failed marriage we're also implying the other partner somehow didn't live up to their end of the bargain. Which isn't always true Where it isn't , it's not a failed marriage, it's a case of the former not being able to cope with the reality of marriage and if anything he is the one who has failed and isn't exactly entitled to this pursuit of love, at least not before he gives his marriage a couple of shots more. It's narcissistic to simply put your happiness above the needs of others involved in the situation , especially the kids. I agree with HearMeRoar on this. Assuming it's not a toxic marriage , robbing your kids of the stability of a home just because you're ' happier ' with somebody else is pretty selfish .

I don't say anything of this in a self righteous way. I'm not good at adulting. I have made bad decisions . I've done things I'm not proud of and I have in fact come close to cheating. I believe I'm capable of being in that situation again. So I wouldn't preach in that tone at all, what I'm getting at is how problematic it is to gloss over cheating and give it social sanction when love is involved.

The Hema Dharam issue is complicated given his young age at that time. But what Boney Kapoor and Sridevi did was appalling. You don't screw your friend's husband or your wife's friend . Even if you end up doing it once, you make sure you don't do it again- That's what I was talking about.

No I haven't watched the Long Ponds Session. I'll see if I can find it. Not keen on Taylor's music but she's cute :) I remember watching a video a couple of months ago where she was pretty nice to this old lady . It was sweet.

Originally posted by: SmittenKitten

The way they wrapped up Biwi # 1 had my head spinning out of control. Salman playing his player self and his fictional wife falling on his feet to come back to her life..... was dizzying to say the least!! 🤓

The only thing worth picking up from that movie is Chunari Chunari. It was shot in my city, so I love rewatching it to spot all the landmarks ... and I'm thinking of performing to it at a best friend's wedding whenever that happens.

I won’t defend this film to anyone. All I can say is I still love it and it’s songs. As well as No Entry and Saajan Chale Sasural 😆

Nice to hear about your dancing aspirations. But don’t be so good that you keep getting requested to do the same song at different functions. That’s a trap 😆

Originally posted by: HearMeRoar

This is the thing. Falling in love might not be under your control, but what you do about it definitely is. The 2nd part is what often gets ignored.

2nd Bold: agreed. Adults need to take responsibility for their actions.

Yeah ,Shit happens sometimes. But having the grace to say "Yes that was wrong" goes a long way. And the willingness to stop that from happening again.