Originally posted by: sadiltl
Asmi,
I liked how you brought up Samrat's responsibility. I agree and I am glad he questioned as a brother. I have few questions which I would like to ask to understand what might be driving each character.
I genuinely would love to get answers for 4 points below (for now). These questions does not mean I discredit anyone's opinion. they are genuinely my questions to understand the characters, in case I am missing anything. So please dont take it personal.
1. Samrat is a nice person. He likes Sai too. But will he not be biased in judging Virat, because he is in the same boat as Sai? He cant look at Virat objectively. can he? Only whatever little he has seen of Virat and Sai he will base his judgement on him. Besides, he is the one who noticed VIrat's love for Sai as soon as he returned CN till cafe incident.
Samrat was speaking from a place of knowledge. He has slowly gathered all the information - Virat's abusive behavior (past & present), witnessed BFFs ganging up and publicly taunting Sai, was attentive when Devi was chastising Virat for keeping quiet when Pakhi was talking ill about Sai. He also eavesdropped on their fight - where Sai was accusing Pakhi of deceiving Samrat to make Virat jealous. Apart from all this, Samrat astutely figured out quite early on that Virats proximity to Pakhi bothers Sai - which is why he kept telling Virat to learn to understand Sai ki khamoshi.
He does understand that Virat has feelings for Sai. But at the same time understands that Sai must have suffered in this relationship. I think he must have been taken aback knowing that Virat is even capable of acting so cruelly.
2. Virat has no introspection, that is sad. But if he 'believes' Sai doesnt love him, just cares for him then what he should do? what options he will have other than to leave her? Will any man or woman who have fallen in love with the other person maintain a platonic relationship staying close? Will they not be miserable? So if Virat wants to move away from her to give her peace and also to stay in peace, why is it his selfishness?
I believe Virat moving away was a good thing to do. But CN-wasis ko unki akal mubaarak.
3. He did, for few days showed his displeasure from his anniversary hurt. He did behave selfishly. I was also disappointed that he forgot his basic duties towards Sai. But why cant we just see it as his helplessness to deal with his heartbreak? Any human being will go through it. Judging his love for these things is not fair.
As I have written numerous times - I would have been okay with Virat acting indifferent. Or even hurting her with his words during their fights in the bedroom. But locking her up in the room , ganging up with his ex-girlfriend to insult her? That broke Sai. Both of them say mean things to each other, wash dirty linen in public. But this was way ,way unpardonable - there is a limit. And he still soes not have any remorse over either of the incidents.
4. He DOESNT draw a line with Pakhi. I agree. I am pissed off too, he should learn to shoo her off. But if he doesnt even think Sai should get effected (Yes he is dumb, and stupid and all because he thinks he is clear enough on his status with pakhi), what should he do? Someone has to guide him, or he should realize it. May be till now, he did not realize due to his stupidity. If a person doesnt know he is committing a mistake, then how will he correct it? If he doesnt realize soon, he will lose Sai. But is his realization tied to the purity of love he has for Sai?
I think we differ massively in this. Take the most dumb, inexperienced person - who is cluless about relationships. Do you see him/her failing to maintain distance with their ex? Especially after knowing his/her ex has feelings for him/her? However complicated reason I try to explain, it is just not possible. Of all the people, he knows what it feels like to be insecure or feel bad about the spouse spending time with someone (who is not even an ex). How will he not even know that he has to set some boundaries? That is why I believe that unknowingly he is having emotional affair with Pakhi - but convinces himself consciously that he just sees her as a friend. When you dont set boundaries with your ex, gang up with her to insult your wiife, get angry when Sai retaliates, but keeps mum when your ex is bad-mouthing your wife and you also participate in it, it is emotional cheating? I cannot attribute it to his dumbness because no one in this world can be realistically this dumb.
In short, I am able to understand there is no respect for Sai in this relationship because he will let others walk on her, eventhough there are ample instances he stood by her. But will this one 'not able to shut pakhi in front of her' discredit his love? Their marriage might not work because of this because Sai is a girl with self respect, but doubting his love on this one aspect is unfair is what I believe.
I dont like to use love word for SaiRat - both are not there. Virat has feelings for her but there is some uncertain emotional connection with Pakhi as well. I dont know what to call his feelings for Sai. What I am expecting is a certain amount of genuine attachment,loyalty and a sense of fairness - which will prevent him from acting cruelly, prevent him from crumpling up her self-respect by participating with his ex in insulting her and maintain the same distance with Pakhi which he expects Sai to have with her male friends.
I am just trying to say love and respect are 2 different things. Here, he is failing in respect only in one aspect. Also, lack of understanding which is compounded due to insecurities might cause people to discredit the others and cross the line. But based on this, is it correct to devaluing the genuine feelings?
I am tagging only 3 here, because I am sad that I am on the other side of opinion from these friends of mine :)
Book Talk
Ye Hai Mohabbatein
