One question this track poses is: how much of the effort it takes to maintain a relationship should be put in by one partner only?
On the surface level, it seems like Adi is doing all that he can from his standpoint because he, to him helplessly, believes certain lies that have hurt Imlie, regrets what he did as a result, but still wants to be with the woman heâs in love with. This guy is a bit too good at compartmentalizing. What is really going on here is Adi pleading with Imlie to get past what has happened and go back to the way things were before. His entire sense of normalcy & well-being stems from Imlie. Weâve seen it before, in his world, allâs well & good while sheâs good with him. Notice how he keeps taking the childâs reference to justify his actions that have hurt Imlie, yet not once has he expressed any genuine emotions, positive or negative, about becoming a father to anyone?
This is working on two levels. He deleted the video impulsively thinking, hey, this is my Imlie. Where a child is involved, she will understand me. She will forgive me, as she has forgiven me and my family on other instances multiple times before. I broke her trust, yes, but in the larger scheme of things, she will still hold some faith in our relationship because thatâs who she is. That should make her hold on to me, no matter what. In the meantime, I will win over her forgiveness come what may. When Imlie and I are in a stable place, only then will I have the mental and emotional capacity to think about the child that, for me, Imlie will raise lovingly. Whoâs the real mother â heâs least bothered about that despite jeopardizing his marriage for her.
We all want Imlie to leave, keep her self-respect above all this. Fair enough, I want that too. đđź The counter argument is simply, she doesnât want to and shouldnât have to. Adi is the man she loves, and for all his flaws, she doesnât want to give up on him. The way his family has treated her has been disgusting, to say the least, but from her perspective, they took her in back when Adi was at odds with her and she loves them deeply, so their words & actions may have hurt but she doesnât want to give up on them either. The crux of the matter is Imlie is a young girl in love with a guy whoâs crazy about her, but tends to make glaring mistakes from time to time. I guess the counter perspective here really is, sheâs strong enough to fight for her love and marriage when her partner is falling short, so why should she quit?
That brings me to question I started this post off with. Is it fair to expect only Imlie to fight? And if not, does it matter anyway because she wants to? We, as the viewers, are furious on her behalf, but sheâs still there working through all of her grief and anger, trying to find her way back to Adi. She has openly declared she isnât leaving in front of his mother. She loves him to the extent that she is open to the idea of raising a child heâs having with someone else so he wonât have to choose between them.
Is this, or Adi, her strength or weakness? Itâs love, so maybe itâs both? Maybe it all depends on the perspective.
Sorry for the long and unexpectedly philosophical post. 𤣠In practical terms, Imlie needs to make a firm demand of Adi. She needs to be the one to advocate for a divorce. Sheâs the one whoâs wronged here and we all know Adi ainât gonna breathe normal until Imlie at least tries to forgive him, so he wonât think twice about getting that divorce now for Imlieâs sake. (Should be doing it for his own sake but ).
Sorry, couldnât tag all đ
Edited by jperalta - 3 years ago